


Dangan Roosters: Right Trigger Happy Havoc

by Ciccoslovakia, orphan_account



Series: Dangan Roosters: A Comedy of Hope and Despair [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Humor, Dangan Ronpa AU, F/M, M/M, murder comedy, shitty references to other things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-11 08:44:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 54,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3321107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciccoslovakia/pseuds/Ciccoslovakia, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Some of you listening to this probably know who I am, but for those of you who don’t, I’ll introduce myself. My name is Ray Narvaez Jr. For those of you who don’t know, I play video games for a living, or at least I used to before everything got fucked. How exactly did everything get fucked, you ask? Well that is a long story my friend. Actually it’s the story I’m supposed to you while I’m here. So here it is I guess, the story of how Rooster Teeth and a good number of its employees, my friends, met their end.</em><br/> <br/>Or. the time the RT staff participated in the Office Life of Mutual Killing</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue Part 1: Prescription SHOTGUN

A spotlight turned on above a man tied up and passed out alone in a room. Suddenly a squeaky voice boomed almost from out of nowhere.

“MEOW MU MU MU MU MU MU MU MU MU!” The man jolted awake upon hearing the obnoxious laughter.

“What was that?! Or who was that?! Why am I tied up?” the startled man asked in a panic. At that moment a cat stepped into the spotlight. Half of the cat had white fur with non-threatening features. The other half of the cat was literally the exact opposite. The other half of the cat had black fur and look like it was ready to rip the man’s throat out at a moment’s notice

“You talk way too much for someone who is about to be put to death for his crimes.” the cat said with a smirk. “But I have a few minutes of kill before your execution is ready,” the cat paused to pull out a red hourglass from behind him. “You have until all of the sand reaches the bottom to ask your questions, then it’s show time!” the cat said with glee. The man stared at him speechless. “Come on old man, your time’s running out!” the man finally started to collect his thoughts.

“Is that the hourglass from the patch set?” the man asked, unable to truly process anything else he had been told.

“Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But that was a shitty question. Ask a better one!”

“Who are you?! Why are you doing this?! What crimes did I commit? Why are you going to kill me?” the man finally blurted all at once.

“Ah there we go! To answer your first question, I’m just a silly old kitty. I’ll also be replacing you as CEO of Rooster Teeth when you die! Isn't that exciting!” the cat exclaimed. A chill ran down the man’s spine. Was this cat serious? “as for your second question, your company produces lots of content that makes people happy and hopeful. We can’t have that now, can we? You need to feel despair, and nobody here truly has. We intend on fixing that. For your third question, I regret to inform you Mr. Hullum, that by bringing your employees here, you have essentially killed them all. Now they aren't dead yet, but they probably will be soon. And that basically answers your forth questions as well, for the crime of murder, your punishment is sweet, sweet death. And one death for sixteen murders, you should be thanking me for letting you off so easy.” The cat lifted his free paw to his face “ Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu! Isn't it great! The sweet, sweet despair you’re feeling right now. It must be delicious!” the cat said with a grin. Matt paused again, processing the new information. 

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY EMPLOYEES?! ARE YOU GOING TO KILL THEM?!” Matt yelled at the cat. The cat stood there for a bit just continuing it’s stupid laugh. “ANSWER ME!”

“Oh your employees are actually resting at the moment, they are all alive for now, but once the game starts I doubt most of them will last long. So many years of friendship down the drain. So sad. Oh and no, I won’t be the one killing them.” the cat finally replied.

“BUT-" Suddenly, the cat removed its paw from his face and used it to smash the hourglass it was still holding. Glass spilled onto the floor along with all of the sand that had previously been in the hourglass.

“TIME’S UP MATT HULLUM!” the cat yelled. Matt’s face quickly grew panicked.

“Wait! But-"

“Nope! Your time is up!” the cat said glancing at the spilled sand now piled at his feet.

“Bu, bu, bu-“

“I have a very special execution planned for you today. I made it especially for you! I call it, ‘Prescription: SHOTGUN”

“Wha-“ and with that the cat pulled out a red button and mallet. The cat then proceeded to hit the button with the mallet.

“Game over: Matt Hullum.” The cat finally said as Matt was dragged away.

Matt was shoved into a suit of red Spartan armor and thrown into a set modeled to look like Blood Gulch. A circle of blue soldiers popped up and surrounded Matt. With a count down to zero, the blue soldiers opened fire on their target. After around five minutes of continuous fire, the soldiers cease their fire. Their red target fell to the ground with a thud, full of bullet holes. As the body hit the ground, the helmet rolled off. As left over blood leaked out of the abandoned helmet, the cat began it’s ridiculous laugh.

“Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu. MEOW MU MU MU MU MU MU MU MU MU.”


	2. Prologue Part 2: The Actual Prologue

_Some of you listening to this probably know who I am, but for those ofyou who don’t, I’ll introduce myself. My name is Ray Narvaez Jr. For those of you who don’t know, I play video games for a living, or at least I used to before everything got fucked. How exactly did everything get fucked, you ask? Well that is a long story my friend. Actually it’s the story I’m supposed to you while I’m here. So here it is I guess, the story of how Rooster Teeth and a good number of its employees, my friends, met their end._

_It started a while back when Burnie and Matt announced that the company would be moving the company to a more secluded location. They had found this huge mansion in a rural area just outside of Austin. I didn’t really understand the point of the move at the time, but who am I to argue with the higher ups. So I show up to the new office on the first day. I had high hopes for the place, but the second I stepped past the front gate, my head started to go fuzzy and that when I knew something was very wrong._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ray woke up on a bed in a cold green room. He looked around at the unfamiliar green walls.

“uugh. My head is killing me. Where the fuck am I?” Ray said as he got out of the bed. “Green bedroom. Alright.” Ray looked around the room. “I wonder if I passed out and someone brought me in here.” As Ray observed, he found two doors. He opened the door closest to the far corner. “Ok so this is a bathroom.” Ray closed the door as a voice came out from a speaker in the ceiling.

“Would all employees please make their way to the kitchen on the first floor. Also, please don’t forget to pick up the ID cards on the side tables by your beds. Thank you.” Said the voice whiny voice.

“huh. Does everyone have a room here or something?” ray said as he walk over to the side by the bed. He picked up the ID card that was sitting on the side table. As soon as he picked the card up, I began to glow. It showed I picture of him and his name. “Why does this thing say ‘Ultimate Gamerscore’? meh I mean whatever I guess.” Ray put the ID card in his back as he started to walk towards the second door, the one he assumed was the way out of the room.

Once Ray had left his room he entered a hallway with many other doors labeled with the names of a few of his co-workers. All of a sudden one of the doors swung open and Caleb walked out.

“Oh hey Ray, I guess you heard the announcement” Caleb said cheerfully.

“Yeah. I did. Which reminds me, do you have any idea of what’s going on?”

“Nope, I sorta just woke up in that room. I remember walking up to the new office and then passing out. I don’t know what happened.”

“I’m starting to have a bad feeling about this.” Ray said nervously. “by the way what did your ID say your name was. Mine said I was the ‘Ultimate Gamerscore”

“Oh” caleb said as he pulled his ID out of his pocket. “I didn’t actually look yet. I think is says ‘Ultimate Frisbee”

“heh that’s fucking stupid”

“I know. But hey, If you have a bad feeling about all of this then why don’t we walk up to the meeting together?”

“I’ll walk with you but I’m not going to touch you. We still haven’t forgiven you for the screen looking bullshit.” Ray said as he continued to walk forward towards the stairs at the end of the hallway with Caleb following close behind. Once they reached the top of the stairs, Ray paused for a moment. “where do you think the kitchen even is?” he asked

“I’m going to guess it’s in the direction where all of the noise is coming from.” Caleb replied.

“Ah. Well duh. Fuckin asshole.” Ray said walking quickly towards the direction. Ray finally reached a door labeled, “KITCHEN” and opened the door to see a bunch of his co-workers talking. The first one of his friends to notice that he had entered the room was Gavin.

“X-RAY YOU’RE HERE!” Gavin exclaimed as he ran towards Ray.

“Gavin calm down.” Ray said as he tried to push Gavin away from him. Michael walked over to the two of them.

“Yeah Gavin calm the fuck down.” Michael said. “God what took you so long?”

“Yeah I kind of just woke up. Also found Caleb.” Ray said as he pointed at the door where he had just entered with Caleb following behind.

“HI GUYS.” Yelled Caleb.

“Shut up nobody cares.” Michael said quickly in return.

“So anyway, have you guys looked at your ID cards yet?” Ray asked

“Yeah” Michael replied. “It says I’m the ‘Ultimate Rage Quit’. How fucking original.”

“I like mine. Mine says ‘Ultimate Slow Motion” Gavin said with pride as he held his ID up for the whole room to see.

“At least you guys’ titles don’t sound so insulting” Geoff said as he walked over to the lads. “Mine says ‘Ultimate Alcoholic’. I mean it’s pretty true, but come on, be better.”

“HEY! WHAT WAS EVERYONE’S TITLES?” Ray yelled to the rest of the room.

“Mine says ‘Ultimate Sunshine’. I know I’m a pretty happy guy right now but I’m still not to sure about this one.” Jack said calmly as he waved is ID in the air.

“I’m the ‘Ultimate PC Guy’ which is way better than what it could have been. I mean it could have been ‘Ultimate Baby Anus Guy” Ryan said from across the room.

“Ryan the Baby Anus Guy!” Gavin yelled.

“shut the fuck up Gavin. “ Ryan replies curtly.

“OOH OHH! Mine says I’m the ‘Ultimate Cat Lover’! That means I’m the best lover of cats!” Lindsay exclaimed as she made her way over to Michael’s side.

“Ultimate Gus.” Gus said with no emotion.

“Really? That’s it?” Ray asked.

“I’m the best Gus. End of story.”

“I’m the ‘Ultimate Hobbit’ which I believe to be extremely accurate.” Chris states matter-of-factly.

“My ID say’s I’m the ‘Ultimate Anime” Monty said. “Although I’m not too sure how accurate that is.”

“It’s accurate.” The entire room says in unison.

“According to my ID, I’m Barbara Dunkelman: ‘Ultimate Pun Maker’! I am the puniest pun maker who ever dared to pun!” Barbara said with glee.

“BOO!” Jack yelled with dismay.

“Mine says ‘Ultimate Frisbee’, but you already knew that, Ray.” Caleb said as he looked at Ray.

“Well not everybody knew so thanks for sharing with the rest of the class jackass.” Ray replied curtly. Suddenly, Miles burst through the door with Kerry on his back. Kerry looked absolutely exhausted while Miles looked just as peppy as ever.

“Sorry we’re late guys!” Miles said quickly. “Someone here decided to get sick in his room while the rest of you guys were up here doing your meeting thing.” Miles then leaned towards Ray and whispered loudly, “Just between you and me, I think its morning sickness.

Having heard the statement, Kerry said, “Miles, we are not ready to be parents, This is why I need to watch you when you put the condom on.”

“So I forgot once! Anyway what did we miss?” Miles asked.

“Actually, we were just exchanging what our titles from our IDs were.” Gavin said cheerfully.

“Oh well, Mine says im the ‘Ultimate Sonic Fan’. Gotta go fast amirite?” Miles says with a grin as he dropped Kerry.

“I’d rather not talk about with mine says.” Kerry said as he picks himself up off of the floor.

“BOO!” Jack yelled with dismay again.

“Ray you haven’t told us what your title is yet. Come on out with it!” Gavin demanded.

“Oh, heheh, Mine’s just ‘Ultimate Gamerscore’. Nothing all that special” Ray said has he shrugged. “Is this everyone?”

“Ultimate founder.” Burnie said as he walked in the door. “Sorry I’m late, got lost. I heard everyone talking about what their titles where so I figured I’d share mine.” Burnie then took his place against the wall closest to the door. “Does anyone know what this meeting is about?” suddenly a voice came from behind the counter near the far wall of the room.

“Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu. Now that everyone is here we can actually start this meeting!” a cat then jumped up onto the counter. The cat was half white and half black.

“What the fuck is up with that talking cat plushie” Lindsay asked as everyone else in the room turned towards the direction of the counter.

“QUIET YOU COCKBITE! EVERYBODY LISTEN THE FUCK UP!” the monochrome cat yelled to the crowd of people. “I’m the one who’s going to answer all of your shitty questions.”

“Well here’s a first one, what the hell are you?” Michael asked.

“If you would all shut the hell up I would tell you.” The cat replied. Then the room fell silent. “good. First things, My Name is MonoJoe. I’m the new CEO of Rooster Teeth! Isn’t this all exciting? New building, new CEO. I bet you all must be super hopeful!” MonoJoe said cheerfully.

“Wait what happened to Matt?” Burnie asked with concern, seeing as though he and Matt had been friends since college.

“He had to go away for a awhile. Sad isn’t it. Anyway now as an employer it is my legal obligation to inform you that the fifteen of you are trapped in this building. All the entrances and windows have been permanently sealed. You are literally trapped. No way in, no way out as a couple of you all love to chant.” MonoJoe said calmly

“WHAT?!” The whole group eclaimed at once.

“how can we trust you?” Geoff asked suspiciously.

“I mean you can check when we are done here. I still have things I need to say, SO STOP FREAKIN STOPING ME.” The crow fell silent once more. “Thank you. Anyway there is a way for one person to escape. And before you ask how just don’t because I’m literally about to tell you. The way one of you can leave… is to kill someone and get away with it! YAY MURDER!” the crowd continued to stay silent. “Really? No rude outburst? That’s actually-“

“What makes you think any of us would actually try to kill someone?” Monty asked, calm as ever.

“AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand there’s the interruption. Anyway, I know the way you all talk to each other. I know how you all love you push each other’s buttons. It’s only a matter of time before at least one of you snaps like a twig and lashed out. And everyone else will fall into despair because of it. Sweet, sweet despair!”

“Yeah honestly I wasn’t listening I was too distracted by your cat-ness” Lindsay said still staring at MonoJoe. “can I pet you?”

“Rule number one: No touching the CEO. The rest of the rules can be found in your ID scrolls.” MonoJoe said as Lindsay was making her way towards the cat.

“so what would happen if I just-“ she paused to poke the cat in the nose, “Booped your cute little nose?” suddenly the MonoJoe started to beep. “Oh what the fuck?” Lindsay said as she and the rest of the group began to back away.

“LINDSAY GET DOWN!” Chris yelled as he tackled Lindsay to the floor. All of a sudden the MonoJoe exploded.

“CHRIS WHAT THE FUCK GET YOU AND YOUR NERD GERMS OFF ME!” Lindsay yelled as she pushed Chris off of her.

“Well at least the demon cat is fucking gone right guys?” Kerry tries to add.

“SHUT UP PREGGO YOU CAN’T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY!” MonoJoe yelled as he appeared on the counter once more.

“Dude we were kidding, I’m not pregnant. That’s fucking stupid” Kerry said annoyed.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. So anyway I would read you the rest of the rules but you are fucking adults and can figure it out yourselves. I’m out of here. Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu ” MonoJoe said as he disappeared once more. Everyone in the room stared at each other, all sense of trust in one another suddenly vanished.

“… so who do you think is going to have stupidity immunity?” Ryan asked

“Gavin” the group said in unison

“WOT!?” Gavin yelled

~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And that is how the Office Life of Mutual Killing began. It might not seem bad yet but trust me. Shit hits the fan and it is not pretty._


	3. Chapter 1 Part 1: Office Life of Mutual Killing

_I know I said shit hits the fan, but I will say that it didn’t start off that bad really. Nobody was dead nobody tried to kill anyone. Everyone was basically harmless. So naturally, we all tried to figure out what the fuck had happened to us._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone looked around the room. After everyone had had a good laugh at Gavin’s expense, it was down to business.

“Alright so if we really are all looked in here we need to split up and get our bearings. It’s a new office and it’s easy to get lost when you have no idea where the hell you are.” Burnie announced to the room.

“Why don’t you know the layout of the place? I though you and Matt picked it out.” Miles asked

“I’m having an off day alright. I need to jog my memory or something. Jeez get off my case will you. God.” Burnie paused. “Ok here’s a plan. I want Team Gents to go check to see if Joe the Cat rip-off was lying about the windows and doors. If he wasn’t, see if you can break them. Barbara, Lindsay, and Gus: I want you to stay here and read the rule book.”

“Why can’t you just read it?” Gus asked annoyed

“Because you’re a fucking nerd and there are probably numbers and shit. Anyway, I want Team Lads to explore the basement. Team Rwby can explore the first floor.”

“But Burnie, Kara and Arryn aren’t here!” Barbara said with a smirk.

“GODDAMMIT BARB! I mean the jackasses who make the show. You knew what I meant anyway. Back to the plan; I guess leaves Caleb, Chris, and I to explore the other half of the first floor. Any questions?”

“Yeah. Why do you have to make the plan?” said Geoff.

“Alright fine. Does anyone else have any ideas?” Burnie asked.

A collective “no” came from all across the room.

“Yeah that’s what I fucking thought. Assholes. Come on.” Burnie said as he walked out of the room. He was then followed by Caleb, Chris, Monty, Miles, and Kerry.

“Come on dickheads lets go” Geoff said as he motioned for Jack and Ryan to follow him.

“Well, I guess that means we should head down stairs.” Ray said has he began to head out the kitchen door as well. Michael and Gavin followed close behind.

“So what happens if this is real then?” Gavin asked. Ray though about it for a sec. even if they were trapped, nobody had the balls to actually go through with a for real murder right? Right?

“I still don’t believe it yet. But I know won’t kill anyone if I don’t have to.” Michael said. Then he looked at Ray, “what bout you ray? Would you kill anyone?”

“never! Look, we work at a company full of assholes. Not murderers. If we really are trapped here then we are trapped. I’m sure the cat won’t kill us and maybe he’ll even get bored and let us go or something. The rest of the internet, minus the parts that think we’re trash, will probably wonder where we are anyway” Ray said as the group finally made it to the basement floor. “I know this floor has all of the bedrooms but there were two unlabeled doors. We should check those out and report back.”

“way to take charge X-Ray!” Gavin exclaimed as he opened up the first door and looked around. “I think this the props and costume room.”

“What makes you say that Gavin? Is it all the fucking props and costumes everywhere?” Michael said, mocking Gavin.

Ray looked around the room as well he notice that there was nothing in the back corner of the room. He walked over the corner only to find that there was a deep pit in the floor. “Guys don’t come over here. There’s a hole in the ground for some reason.” Rays said as he walked back over to Michael and Gavin.

“Guess ray doesn’t want to end up like Edgar then.” Michael teased.

“Michael please!” Gavin said as he walked to the far wall of the room. He picked up a film camera. “Guys, I found a camera. And Jack is not here. Do you know what this means?”

Michael walked over to the same wall and picked up the achievement hunter microphone that Gavin had knocked over while picking up the camera. “Yes Gavin, I think I know what this means. Ray do you know what this means?” Michael asked calmly.

“Hell yeah I know what this means!” there was a short pause. “TEAM LADS ACTION NEWS TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAMM!!!” and with that there was a collective yell from both Gavin and Michael and the group ran out the door.

“Ok so we are 75% sure were are trapped in the new office with twelve of our co-worker/ friends and a deranged cat toy that wants us to kill each other.” Michael starts saying into the camera.

“And remember kids, each other is two words” Ray quickly adds.

“Right, anyway Burnie has tasked us with exploring the basement. So far we know that all the bedrooms are on this floor. You know where the magic happens. Also the prop and costume room is here too.”

“That’s where we found the camera and mic!” Gavin added

“Shut up, they know that already! Anyway now we just have one more door to look at.”

“The magical door of Mysteries!” Gavin interrupted once more.

“Let’s open it to see what is inside.” Michael said as he opened the door. The Lads poked their heads in to find that the mystery room was really just a simple garbage room. Gavin took a whiff of the room and started to gag.

“Aw gross dude. It’s just a garbage room. Chill.” Ray said as he urged Michael to shut the door.

“And there you have it folks. The room of mysteries is a trash room and Gavin’s gag reflex still sucks shit. Now to go upstairs and report. TEAM LADS ACTION NEWS TEAM GO!” Michael yelled as he started running back up the stairs, dragging Gavin along with him. Ray quickly followed behind the two.

Once the trio made it back up the stairs and into the kitchen, they were greeted with a reformed group. “Man, how long does it take you idiots to check a floor?” Geoff asked

“We got distracted alright. We found the costume and props room and the garbage room. Gavin gagged like a bitch and we finished our action news shit.” Ray replied.

“Oh god not the action news.” Jack said as he rolled his eyes.

Burnie cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention. “Anyway, now that we know what’s in the basement, my team found that the kitchen is fully stocked. The cat says it will get refilled once a week or whenever it runs low. There is also a closet sized nurse’s station on this floor. Nothing lifesaving, but it has the basics. I guess he wants up to be more creative than death by infected cuts.” Burnie said.

“Also the vending machines work without money.” Chris added.

“Thank you for your minimal contribution to our search efforts Chris. Where would we be without you?” Burnie replied sarcastically.

Monty stepped up next. “Ok so while Kerry and Miles were touching butts-“

“And by butt touching he means RWBY brainstorming instead of doing what we were supposed to do” Kerry interrupted.

“Sure whatever.” Monty continued, “I found a camera storage room, which by the way has Gavin’s slow motion camera in it.”

“Oh you found the phantom!” Gavin said joyfully.

“Yeah. I also found a laundry room and a general storage closet. You know with trash bags and office supplies and other stuff.” Monty said as he backed away

“Well I guess that means you’re up next Geoff.” Ryan pointed out.

“Right. So the stupid cat wasn’t lying about all the doors and windows being bolted shut.” Geoff said annoyed.

“And we tried to break the bolts only to realize that they were also welded shut as well.” Jack said with a sigh.

“I guess that means we really are trapped in here.” Lindsay said sadly.

“And with that maybe we should read the rules.” Barbara added.

“Does this mean no more outside? Ever? “Caleb asked sadly.

“Shut up and let me read the rules so maybe we can figure that out! “ Gus snapped. He picked up his ID scroll and began to read aloud. “New Rooster Teeth Employee Handbook. By MonoJoe. Rule 1: ‘you freeloaders can live in the office for as long as it takes for someone to retire, or kill someone in case that wasn’t obvious’. Rule 2: ‘Night time is from 11 pm until 7 am. You are all adults you can police yourselves on the matter.”

“Eight hours of sleep. Not bad.” Ryan said quietly.

“Nobody cares Ryan. Anyway, Rule 3: ‘please sleep in the rooms provided for you in the basement. We worked hard on putting those together for you plus we don’t want your nasty drool all over the rest of the building’. Rule 4: ‘No banging. We won’t punish you for breaking this rule but the wall are thin. Be courteous. We’re talking to you Miles and Kerry’ It literally says that.”

“Well I can tell you the rule 4 is getting broken. If not out of spite.” Michael adds.

“Nobody needs to know what you do in bed with Gavin, Michael.” Gus replies.

“Actually I was referring to my wife.” Michael said as he pointed at Lindsay, who was waving in acknowledgement

“Yeah! And everybody knows Gavin’s butthole is reserved for my thumb!” Geoff said quickly.

“Wait? Don’t I have a say in this? I mean it is my anus.” Gavin asked.

“No.” Geoff and Michael said in unison.

“Anyway” Gus continued, “Rule 5: ‘no messing with the security cameras watching your every move. We worked hard on setting those up. Don’t fuck with them” Gus paused and looked up to the corner of the room when he noticed a security camera staring back at him. “How the actual fuck did we not notice those?! Whatever. Rule 6: ‘no touching the CEO. I don’t want your nerd germs on me and the punishment for breaking this rule is quite severe’ but we already knew that one. Rule 7: shower only once a day. Hot water is expensive. Rule 8: ‘to get out of here, a ‘Team Killing Fucktard’ must kill one of their co-workers and not be caught. Nobody can ever know who done it. Ever. End of story. More rules will be added as seen fit.’ Well that is morbid.”

“Well what do we do now?” Ray asked.

“We should set some rules of our own. MonoJoe was right about us being adults. We should police ourselves at least a little bit.” Said Ryan.

“How about we at least eat all of our meals together? Burnie and I can take turns cooking since I’m not sure I trust the rest of you assholes in a kitchen.” Geoff suggested.

“I’m down for cooking. All in favor?” Burnie asked. The group let out a collective “I”.

“Also maybe we should try to stay in at night.” Chris suggested.

“Ok no everyone is going to break that rule.” Michael said.

“I mean would could say that but I’m pretty sure a good portion of us are nocturnal.” Miles added.

Burnie cleared his throat once more, “or so all in favor of an arbitrary rule about not going out at night?”

“If it’s arbitrary then what’s the point?” Gus asked.

“It’s like a security blanket to make everyone feel better I guess. So all in favor?” Burnie asked again. Yet again there was a collective “I”.

“How about we just don’t fucking kill each other? Is that a good rule?” Ray added.

“Well that one is obvious.” Burnie replied. As soon as those words left his mouth, a familiar annoyingly squeaky voice came from the intercom in the ceiling.

“ALRIGHT YOU COCKBITES! IT’S 11 PM, WHICH MEANS ITS NIGHTIME. IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF LA’VAR BURTON, ‘GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP’ SEE YOU IN THE MORNING!” then the speaker went silent once more.

“Alright fuck this. I’m going to bed. Come on Lindsay.” Michael said as he grabbed his wife’s hand and walked out the door.

“Night guys!” she yelled as she walked away with Michael.

“I’m heading out too. My head is still killing me from when I first woke up.” Caleb said as he walked out the door.

“I’m following right behind. See ya.” Geoff said as he quickly followed Caleb out. Gus then also walked out the door without saying a word; just a middle finger raised high.

“I’m pretty tired too. Good night.” Ray said as he finally walked out the door leaving everyone else to leave at their own pace.

‘God this shit cannot be happening.’ Ray thought to himself as he made his way down the stairs. ‘The cat doesn’t actually expect us to kill each other. We all have too much history and shit.’ Ray opened the door to his room. He set his ID card back down on the side where he found it. ‘Stupid new office, stupid cat. I mean I know we make jokes about killing and murder. But we are all friends, and friends love each other right? Right?’ Ray laid down on his bed to spend the rest of the night stewing in his own thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And that is basically how the first day of our new life went. Despite the new fear we all had at least a little faith in one another. Of course it didn’t take much to change that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once everything is posted to my tumblr, I'm going to start updating this once a day. just to get it over with.


	4. Chapter 1 Part 2: And Then There Were Less

_After that first day in the new office, we all managed to go a little over a week without incident. We ate all of our meals together. We played with the props and costumes. Achievement Hunter was basically put on hiatus due to the fact that there wasn’t a console in sight. Not even a PSVita, even though nobody gives a shit about those anyway. Monty, Kerry, and Miles worked on RWBY and RVB shit while Burnie and Chris went to writing shorts since that about all they could do. Barbara and Gus attempted to plan stuff for the next RTX, but whether that could even happen at that point was up in the air, kinda like Ryan. Anyway, everything wasn’t so bad considering the circumstances. Or at least it wasn’t until the damn cat threw a spike into our peace._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The employees of Rooster Teeth had gathered in the kitchen for lunch. It had been Burnie’s turn to make the meal, so naturally he laid out a sandwich station. Most of the staff had been able to keep busy while some of the others, namely the Achievement Hunters, had been doing absolutely nothing.

“GOD I’M SO BORED!” Gavin exclaimed as he started swinging his legs under the table he, Ryan, Michael, Lindsay, and Ray were sitting at. “I don’t understand how there are no video games anywhere. This is Rooster Teeth for fucks sake!”

“Calm down and eat you sandwich Gavin.” Ryan said as he took a bit of his own.

“We get it, we’re all out of a job without video games. But at least you have your phantom, so suck it up.” Lindsay said. Geoff then walked over to their table with Jack following close behind.

“I think it’s time we at least planned a few let’s plays just in case we do find video games instead of stead of sitting here with our heads up our asses.” Geoff said sternly.

“He’s right, maybe it would help us get over our cabin fever.” Jack adds.

“You always have cabin fever. You love building cabins.” Ray said with a smirk

“That’s not what cabin fever means and you know it!” Jack replied.

Suddenly a voice came from behind the counter, just as it did on the first day. “Yeah I’ve been getting a bit of cabin fever myself.” MonoJoe then hopped up on to the counter.

“Oh shit the fucking cat it back!” Chris said from his own able.

“QUIET COCKBITE! Anyway I can sit here and continue to watch Michael and Lindsay break rule 4 every fucking night, or I can coax you into doing what I originally brought you all together for, to kill each other. So let’s talk about MURDER!” Michael and Lindsay both flipped MonoJoe off. “I’m actually surprised nobody has snapped yet considering how bored you all are.”

“THAT’S FRIENDSHIP BITCH!” Kerry yelled as he and Miles high fived.

“I see that now. And since that seems to be the case, I decided to spice things up.” Monojoe proceeded to pull 15 envelopes from behind his back. “Inside each of these envelopes are embarrassing secrets that the lot of you would never want the internet to see. If someone’s shit ain’t wrecked in the next twenty-four hours. The RT community finds out what you all have been hiding.” MonoJoe said as he threw the envelopes at the perspective owners. Ray opened his up first.

“This is literally just a picture of me eating cake and a compilation of stupid shit I posted on the RT site when I was sixteen. Everyone has seen all of this.”

“Mine is a picture of me petting a cat” Michael said as he held his up. “Lindsay likes cats. I’m a dog person but I don’t hate cats.”

“And I don’t hate dogs.” Lindsay said holing up a picture of her petting a dog.

“Is this a recording of my accent when I’m at home?” Geoff asked as he held to tape recorder that was previously in his envelop up to his ear. “It is but this isn’t worth killing someone over.”

“Mine’s just a screenshot from the porno I was in. All I did was throw money at a stripper. This is old news.” Jack said as he held his up.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” Kerry yelled as he stared at his embarrassing secret. “This is literally just a shutterstock image of a positive pregnancy test!”

“Congrations Kerry. It’s an abomination to the world.” MonoJoe said.

“OH KERRBEAR! WE’RE GOING TO BE PARENTS! ISN’T THAT EXCITING?!” Miles exclaimed as he hugged Kerry tightly.

“I think we are really scrapping the bottom of the barrel for comedy here.” Kerry said with a sigh.

“I still think it’s funny.” MonoJoe replied.

“I don’t remember writing Grimmons fanfiction.” Gus said as he read what was in his envelop. “Hot.”

“My letter says in, comic sans, that my dick actually is circumcised:” Gavin added.

“That’s a load of shit. I’ve seen it. It’s definitely uncut.” Geoff said, shaking his head.

“Mines a video of me falling down on crutches. Shit happens.” Caleb said.

“Yeah this is just the script for the XXX lord of the rings parody I wrote when I was drunk. “ Chris said as he waved his around.

“Dude, why? Anyway. My envelope just has a bunch of Gus’s nudes.” Burnie said. “Hot.”

“And mine’s a picture of me in drag from Halloween. I posted this on twitter. I think those boots really showed off my legs.” Monty said as he flipped over the picture for everyone to see.

“My secret is just a bunch of dick drawings.” Miles said as he finally released Kerry from his grasp. And with that Barbara screamed.

“NO NOBODY CAN EVER SEE THIS!”

“Well if you don’t want anyone to see it you gotta choke a bitch. Or stab. Any method you can think of will do actually.” MonoJoe replied

“Why don’t you suck a dick?!” Barbara yelled

“You can suck two dicks!” MonoJoe yelled back

“Suck five dicks!”

“SUCK EIGHT DICKS! IT WILL BE AN OMNI-DIRECTIONAL DICK SUCKING FEST!”

“Wow, way to steal my line you piece of shit.” Michael said.

Barbara turned to the rest of the group. “Guys we don’t have to take this. If we get rid of the damn cat we can go!”

“Wouldn’t it be easier for you to tell us what your thing is?” Ray asked.

“NO! NO ONE CAN KNOW!” Barbara screamed as she stomped over towards MonoJoe. “LISTEN HERE CUMSLUT!” Barbara grabbed MonoJoe. “NOT TOUCHING THE CEO WAS RULE 6 NOT RULE 1 YOU FUCKING LIAR!” Barbara screamed as she shook the cat.

“Rule 6 has been broken. You done hecked up!” MonoJoe said as Barbara continued to shake him.

“What are you?! Do you have so much hate in you that you’re gonna explode or some shit?!”

“Yep!” MonoJoe said as he then proceeded to do just that. Hot scrap metal from the cat impaled Barbara as he exploded in her arms. Barbara had a look of surprise on her face.

“I… I didn’t know what I expected.” Barbara said as she fell to the floor. The rest of the employees screamed in horror as Burnie ran over to check her pulse.

“God… dammit Barb.” Burnie said quietly. There was no pulse to be found on the girl. “She’s… dead.” Burnie said sadly.

“I think I’m gonna be sick Chris yelled as he ran out the Kitchen door. A replacement MonoJoe appeared on the Kitchen counter once more.

“And that’s how you know shit’s serious. Or course that one didn’t count seeing as the bitch broke the rules and y’all know who done it; I did. See you on the flipside motherfucker. MonoJoe OUT! Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu.” MonoJoe said as he exited once more.

“Holy. Fucking. Shit.” Michael said still in shock.

“RIP in peace you pun loving fuck.” Miles said sadly.

“She didn’t even make any puns since we've been here” Kerry added.

“I just realized something.” Lindsay interrupted. “Ryan, you haven’t shown us your secret yet.” The group turned towards Ryan in anticipation.

“Yeah Ryan, show us what you got.” Jack said

“I… uh… uh…” Ryan stuttered.

“What’s the matter Ryan? It can’t be any worse than saying ‘my real name is James’ or some dumb shit like that. Everyone has seen the gnome pics so it can’t be that bad.” Geoff adds

“Come on Rye bread.” Gavin insisted.

“I’d… I’d… rather not show these…” Ryan said nervously.

“Come on Ryan, this is an open company. It doesn’t matter anyway.” Geoff insisted.

“I really don’t want people to see… please just respect that. For fucking once can you fucking animals just respect my privacy?!” Ryan yelled. Everyone in the room just stared at him. Geoff was not going to have any of his shit.

“Do it or you’re fired.” Geoff said calmly.

“What?” Ryan asked, staring Geoff down.

“Show everyone your secret, or you’re fucking fired!” Geoff said now in Ryan’s face. Ryan get stared angrily back at Geoff before he finally said his reply.

“Fine. I FUCKING QUIT!” Ryan yelled as he stormed out the kitchen door. Burnie sighed in dismay. Gus rolled his eyes. 

“Ooooohhhh nooooo.” Ray said nervously. Jack walked over to Geoff and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Geoff-“ Jack started to say.

“NO! FUCK EVERY SINGLE LAST ONE OF YOU!” Geoff said as he pushed Jack away and walked out the door. After a few minutes of silence Chris walked back into the kitchen.

“Hey guys. I’m feeling better now. But uh… Geoff just shoulder checked me on the way in here. What did I miss?” and with that the entire room let out a collective groan.

The rest of the day wasn’t much better after that. Nobody wanted to speak to each other, they were either mourning the loss of Barbara or quietly worrying about Ryan. The silence was finally broken at dinner time. It was Geoff’s turn to make the meal. He has opted for stir fry that night, so he was busy in the kitchen chopping vegetables and chicken. The rest of the company, minus Ryan who was avoiding everyone, and Gus who said he has twice as much work to do now that Barbara was dead, was waiting in the dining area for their food.

“So, who do you think Ryan is gonna kill tonight?” Michael said.

“Michael, don’t talk like that.” Jack said, trying to keep the peace.

“Why not? Ryan’s a creepy mother fucker. And now he’s a creepy mother fucker with a reason to kill.” Michael continued.

“Guys.” Ray interrupted weakly. He hadn’t been feeling well since that afternoon.

“Maybe Caleb since nobody cares. “ Kerry suggested

“I care!” Caleb exclaimed

“Or how about Kerry?” Lindsay said.

“No, he’s pregnant. Ryan wouldn’t kill a pregnant guy, that’s too cruel.” Michael replied

“Seriously. Fuck. All of you.” Kerry said annoyed.

“Michael stop.” Ray said weakly. He didn’t want to even think of anyone else dying.

“Actually. If I really had to put my money on someone. I’d say Geoff. He really managed to piss off Ryan today. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted you gone dude.”

“SHUT UP!” Geoff yelled angrily from the kitchen. “OW FUCK.” Geoff exclaims in pain as he dropped the knife he was working with. Burnie stands up immediately.

“Geoff what happened? Are you alright?” Burnie said as he rushed into the kitchen.

“I fucking cut my hand! That’s what happened.” Geoff replied, clutching his hand tightly.

“Please don’t bleed on our dinner. “ Chris said.

“Shut the fuck up Chris.” Burnie said as he grabbed Geoff. “Jack, watch the kitchen while I patch Geoff up.” Burnie dragged Geoff out of the kitchen. He stopped when saw Ray. “Ray, you’re looking more Caucasian than usual.” He remarks.

“Yeah. I’ve been feeling like shit since this afternoon.” Ray replied quietly.

“Go to bed then. It’s been a shit day for everyone.” Burnie said.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Ray began to stand up. He wobbled quite a bit but still managed to stand up.

“You don’t need help getting to your room right?” Burnie asked.

“I got it.” Ray said, leaning on his chair. “Night” he said as he walked out of the room. As he walked out, he could still hear Geoff yelling, “I’m still bleeding asshole!”

Ray stumbled his way down the stairs. He really was feeling like shit. Before he reached his room. He saw Ryan sitting against the wall in between two of the bedroom doors. “Ryan?” Ray said weakly. Ryan immediately looked up to face Ray.

“I thought everyone was at dinner.” Ryan said.

“I was... and still am feeling like shit so they sent me to bed without dinner.” Ray said as he slid down the wall to be at the same level as Ryan. Ryan reached over and hand on Ray’s forehead. “Ryan what the fuck are you doing?”

“You’re burning up.” Ryan replied as he took he hand away.

“Heh. Jubl.” Ray giggled.

“Shut up.” Ryan said with a smirk. He picked himself up off of the wall and stood back up. “Do you want help getting up?” he asked as he held a hand out to Ray.

Ray thought about it for a second. “Yeah I’m not sure if I can do it myself this time.” He grabbed Ryan’s hand and Ryan helped Ray up off of the floor.

“Come on. Let’s get you to your room.” Said as helped Ray to his room. Ray managed to open the door before nearly falling out of Ryan’s grip. “Hey no. we’re gonna make it to the bed before you fall over.”

“Ghey,” Ray said quietly.

“You know what I meant.” Ryan said with a sigh. He placed Ray into bed and turned to leave, but before he could exit, Ray spoke up again.

“They think you’re gonna try to kill someone.” Ray said. Ryan stopped and stared at the ground.

“Do they really?”

“I don’t. They’re just are scared. But you’re better than that.”

“Really?”

“We work with a bunch of asshole. Now it’s a bunch of scared assholes.” Ray replied calmly.

“I feel bad for yelling today.” Ryan started. “It’s just really hard. We’re all stuck together and there are just some things people don’t need to see.”

“Did you really put a cow in a hole? Like in real life?”

“No that fucking stupid.”

“Then I don’t care what your secret is.” Ray said calmly.

“Thanks,” Ryan said, rubbing the back of his neck. “And you’re right. I don’t intend on killing anyone.” Ryan paused to gather his thoughts. “You’re right though, everyone is afraid of me right now. And I get why. I can’t convince them I mean no harm like this. They’re a bunch of stubborn jackasses.”

“So what are you going to do?” Ray asked as began to get sleepy.

“I think I have an idea. It’s probably stupid, but stupid seems to work well around here.”

“Go for it man.” Ray said as he began to close his eyes.

“I will. And it looks like you’re about out for the count so I’m going to leave. But Ray?”

“Yeh?” he said drowsily.

“Thanks. For talking to me. I feel a lot better now knowing someone doesn’t hate me.” Ryan said as he left, closing the door behind.

“Fucking… good.” Ray mumbled as he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning Ray woke up feeling much better. He got out of bed left to go back upstairs. He entered the kitchen to find everyone waiting for him.

“Oh god why are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday you fucking animal?” Michael asked in fake disgust.

“I’m sorry some of us felt hella sick and fell asleep in what they were wearing.” Ray replied.

“Speaking of which, are you feeling any better Ray?” Burnie asked from the kitchen.

“Much. By the way how is your hand Geoff?”

Geoff waved his bandaged hand up in the air. “Could have been worse. And now that I’m thinking about. I was kind of a dick to Ryan yesterday. I think this cut was karma for it. By the way thanks for the booze and emotion talk Burnie.”

“No problem.” Burnie replied.

“Anyway, I want to apologize. Where is he?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen him since last night. Also I just realized I lost my achievement hunter wrist band…” Ray said.

“It probably fell off in your sleep.” Geoff said as he walked over to Ray. “Come on lets go find him.”

“Why do I have to come?” Ray asked

“So you can mediate” Geoff said as he grabbed Ray and walked in the direction of the door.

“Wait!” Michael said as he stood up. “I want to apologize too. I made some shitty accusations and I want to say I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. I kinda told him you did that.” Ray said sheepishly.

“Yeah. That doesn’t surprise me.” Michael said as he followed Geoff and Michael out the door. The three of them walked down the stairs and into the hall with the bedroom. They made their way to the door labeled, “Ryan” and Geoff began to knock on the door.

“Ryan! It’s Geoff. I wanted to say I’m sorry for being a dick. Nobody really needed to know your secret. It was really douchey of me to try and fire you. You’re not fired.” There was no response. Geoff tried knocking again. “Ryan did you hear me? I don’t want to repeat that shit again!” there was still no response.

“Maybe he isn’t in there.” Michael suggested.

“Well were the hell else would he be.” Geoff asked. Suddenly there was a look of panic on Ray’s face. “Ray what’s wrong buddy. You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Again.”

“RYAN!” Ray screamed as he ran down the hall. He began to bang on every door in the hall. “RYAN?! RYAN! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!”

Geoff and Michael quickly followed behind Ray. “Ray what’s going on!” Michael asked in a hurry. Ray slammed the door to the prop and costume room opened. He ran into the room and continued to scream Ryan’s name. He finally ran to the edge of the pit and noticed a few things. The first was a ladder that had not previously been in the pit since the last time he had looked down into it. The next and largest addition to the pit was the corpse of Ryan Haywood. He had been impaled by the spikes that at the center of the pit. It looked like He had been dead for several hours. Ray stared at the sight in horror as Geoff and Michael finally caught up to him.

“Ray. What. Happened?” Geoff asked, out of breath. Ray said nothing. He only continued to shake and point at the scene below. The other two men looked down into the pit only to see the same horrific sight.

“No… way…” Michael said in disbelief as he sat down on the floor, trying to comprehend if this was really happening.

“OH GOD!” Geoff yelled as he slowly backed away from the scene. Ray just continued shaking until he was finally able to open his mouth.

“FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK” Ray screamed until his voice gave out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And that is how we lost our first two friends. We thought that the Ryan’s killer would be freed right after that. But we were wrong. Again. A murder is way more complicated than we thought._


	5. Chapter 1 Part 3: Investigation START

_So apparently with a murder, there was also a fighting chance for justice, or at least survival. Ryan could be avenged, though, in all honesty, I’m not sure if he would have even wanted that. But everything was really shitty and most of us were too shocked that he was even dead and that one of us killed him to think straight. And this is the point where shit got more complicated than it needed to be._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MonoJoe’s announcement rang through the whole office. “A body has been discovered in the prop room. After an amount of time a trial will be held to determine who the team killing fuck is. You will have until then to investigate. Have fun!

Soon everyone was in the prop room and looking at the body. Gavin fainted at the sight of the body and Michael and Lindsay had took back to his room and were watching over him. Chris and Kerry had to leave because they couldn’t stand the sight of the body.

It was silent as everyone was still staring into the pit. Out of nowhere MonoJoe appeared. “You dumbfucks still haven’t started investigating? Come on, you’re never going to find the team killing fuck this way!”

“We’re looking at the dead body of a friend, do you really expect us to just shake that of?!” Geoff shouted.

MonoJoe laughed, “Well fine, but I’m not extending your time of investigation just because you all got a little sad.”

“Why are you here in the first place?” Gus inquired.

“I came to give you guys a gift. It’s the MonoJoe File! This file contains information about the crime to help you understand what happened.” MonoJoe said as he handed everyone a tablet.

On the tablet there was a picture of Ryan’s body impaled, just like everyone saw in the pit. The file said, “Victim: Ryan Haywood. Found: dead in the basement. Approximate time of death: 10:00 P.M. Cause of death: impalement.”

“Now, have fun investigating. When you hear the bell, that means it’s trial time!” MonoJoe exclaimed with too much joy. Then he left.

Everyone looked at each other, unsure of what to do. Then Monty’s voice rang out.

“Okay, we need two people to stay and guard the body to prevent the killer from disposing of anything. Geoff, Caleb, you’re both pretty strong. You guard the body.”

“Um, okay,” Geoff said with hesitation.

“I’m going into the pit and seeing what I can find. The crime scene is one of the most important places for clues. Everyone else, try investigating anywhere else on your own to see what you can find. Leave no stone unturned. We’re going to make sure we can find out whoever did this.”

As Monty finished talking, he descended the ladder. Geoff and Caleb also went down to guard the body. Ray decided to go down into the pit with Monty, and was followed by Gus and Jack.

When Ray got down there he noticed Monty looking at some weird thing on the floor.

“Monty, what are you look at?” Ray asked.

“Stay back,” Monty responded. “There’s vomit on the floor and I’m checking to see if there are any clues in it.”

“That’s kinda gross.”

“Well it’s also an important clue. I noticed last night’s dinner in the vomit so it wasn’t Ryan’s. My best conclusion would have to be that it belongs to the killer.”

“Oh, that’s actually pretty good. Any idea whose vomit it is?”

“No, vomit isn’t a finger print so I can’t really compare it to anything. This is all I’m going to get from the vomit, let’s look at the body.”

Ray and Monty went to the body and Monty began searching it.

“This is odd,” Monty said “His right pocket is turned out. I doubt he did it himself.”

“Are you thinking the killer did it?”

“Well I doubt he did it himself. I’m going to keep checking the body, how about you go check with Jack and Gus to see what they’ve found.”

“You want me to report to you with what I find?”

“We can share information at the trial, just go check as much everywhere as you can.”

Ray nodded and walked away. He went up to Gus and asked Gus about what he’s found.

“Um, nothing. Just go away for now Ray.” Gus demanded, “I’d rather investigate alone.”

“Okay whatever,” Ray replied. Ray then walked over to Jack and asked him.

Jack pointed to a camera and tripod on the ground and said, “I’ve been look at this camera to see if there’s anything on it, but the camera appears to be broken. What I do want to know is what this camera is doing all the way down here. It’s not even from the prop room, it’s from that camera room Monty mentioned.”

“Noted. Well I don’t think there’s anything else in the pit, how about we go investigate somewhere else?”

“Naw, I’m gunna stay here and keep looking. But I’ll see you later”

Ray got out of the pit and saw Miles looking at the ladder.

“Hey Ray, how funny would it be if I pulled the ladder and left them all stranded in the pit?” Miles joked.

“Not that funny right now considering were investigating a murder, dumbass.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Well in that case, what is this ladder doing here anyway? It definitely wasn’t there before.”

“It’s probably from the prop room here, the killer must’ve used it to get into the pit.”

“Why would they do that? Unless maybe they left some evidence in the pit.”

“Well they barfed down there, so they ended up leaving more evidence if that’s the case.”

“I think I’ll check the rest of the prop room, how about you go look somewhere else Ray?”

Ray agreed and left the prop room. He ran into Chris and Kerry who were out in the hall.

“Are you guys sure Ryan’s dead?” Chris asked.

“You saw the body impaled in the pit, what do you think?” Ray replied.

“Sorry, I just, it was bad enough to see Barbara die, but seeing Ryan dead and not knowing who did it, it’s fucked up.”

“So are you actually gunna help find who did it?”

“I don’t think I have it in me. I’ll just stay here with Kerry. Oh, if you are investigating maybe you should go check in with Burnie, I think I saw him by Ryan’s room.”

“Thanks.”

Ray went to where the rooms were and saw the door to Ryan’s room open. Sure enough, Burnie was in there.

“Burnie, what’re you doing in here?”

“Just checking to see if there are any clues in Ryan’s room. Maybe a note to see if someone asked him to meet him at the prop room or something.”

“I’m guessing you haven’t found anything yet.”

“You guessed correctly. There’s not a single piece of useful information in here. How are we supposed to find the killer like this? I don’t have a single clue who could’ve done it. If it weren’t for the fact that Geoff and I spent the whole night together, I would think it was him, but it can’t be.”

“You and Geoff spent the night together? Kinky.”

“Haha, very funny. Do you have an alibi Ray?”

“I was sick, I went back to my room and went to sleep. Remember? You sent me there." "Look the events of today have kinda overshadowed me remembering what I told you last night. Plus Geoff is a giant man-baby." "Fair enough. But I did run into Ryan on my way back to the room. He told me he had some plan to make everyone not him. I’m guessing whatever the plan was, it has something to do with how he died. But he probably didn’t write the plan down and leave it in here.”

“Not from what I’ve seen. You have any idea of another place to investi-“

*DING DONG, BING BONG*

MonoJoe rang through the whole building once again.

“It is now time for the class trial. Please report to my office and don’t bitch about not having enough time. If you don’t know where it is, there’s a map on your IDs. If you wanted more, maybe you shouldn’t have spent ten minutes looking at a dead body.”

Ray and Burnie left Ryan’s room and went to the office which was on the first floor. Inside the office was actually just a waiting room for an elevator. Once everyone was in the room the elevator arrived and they all went in. 

Ray looked around and knew that someone in this elevator was responsible for Ryan’s death and he had to figure out who. Not just to bring them to justice, but to save the lives of everyone else here.

The elevator stopped and as they got out of the elevator they saw an elevated round table with 16 spots for people to stand. There were two spots that had pictures with a bloody x through them. One picture had Barbara’s face, and the other had Ryan’s. Everyone went to a spot around the table and the office trial started.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_So that’s basically how the first investigation ended and the first trial began. A court of idiots running around in circles to figure out “whodunit”. And we all would figure out who did the thing, I can promise you that nobody was happy with what we found._


	6. Chapter 1 Part 4: Who Dethroned The Mad King

Trial #1

Evidence:

MonoJoe File #1-The death took place at approximately 10 o’clock. The body was found impaled on spikes, leading to the death of the victim.

Vomit-Found right in the pit. Contains the dinner of the previous night.

Right Pocket-One of the pockets in Ryan’s pants was found turned inside out.

Camera-A camera on a tripod was found broken in pit.

Ladder-A ladder that seems like it wasn’t there before.

Ryan’s Message-The night before, Ryan told Ray he wasn’t going to kill anyone, but was afraid the group thought he would. He said he had some idea to regain everyone’s trust.

Monojoe: Let’s begin with a basic explanation of the office trial. So, your votes will determine the results. If you can figure out “whodunnit” then only they will receive punishment. But if you pick the wrong one… Then I’ll punish everyone besides the team killing fucktard, and the one that deceived everyone else will retire!

Ray: And the killer really is one of us, right?

Monojoe: Of Course!

Kerry: What if, the killer just revealed themselves right now? I mean that will just make it easier.

Gus: Are you that stupid? Do you believe the killer will just give themselves up?

Monty: Before we move on, can I ask one question? What’s up with the pictures that have the bloody x through them?

Monojoe: I’d feel awful if they got left out just because they died. Friendship penetrates even death’s barrier!

Chris: Penetrates…?

Monojoe: That does it for the preamble, let’s go on to the case. First off, let’s start with a case summary. Now, let the office trial…begin.

Gavin: I’ll start by saying the one who died was Ryan!

Michael: No duh, don’t waste our time by saying shit we all know already.

Caleb: Someone probably threw him in and he was stabbed to death by the spears.

Chris: Are we sure someone killed him? Maybe he just fell in on his own! I don’t want to believe that any of us are murderers!

Jack: Yeah, I agree with Chris. It can’t be true that someone else killed him!

_You’re wrong_

Ray: As hard as it is to believe, there’s evidence around the scene to suggest someone else is responsible.

Monty: There’s a camera down in the pit, Ryan’s pocket is turned out, a ladder leading into the pit, and the vomit in the pit. I find it hard to believe Ryan did that all on his own.

Kerry: Maybe he was holding a camera and reached into his pocket, then suddenly vomited and fell in.

Burnie: Do we even have to address that?

Monty: No.

Kerry: But I thought I was onto something!

Monty: Let’s start by addressing every piece of evidence. But before we can start that, I would like to ask if anyone else has any evidence?

Gus: I actually found something in the pit that I find interesting. An Achievement Hunter wristband. And I noticed someone here isn’t wearing one today. Isn’t that right, Ray?

>Everyone turns to look at Ray.

Ray: Are you accusing me? 

Gus: I don’t want to accuse you of killing someone, but I don’t see much else to go on.

Ray: I lost that wristband yesterday! It fell of, probably at dinner and someone put it in to frame me!

Geoff: Now that you mention it, Ray left dinner early last night and I didn’t see him again.

Miles: So he was the only person to leave early?

Caleb: Then Ray must’ve left, and gone right to the basement to basement to kill Ryan!

_You’re stupid_

Ray: No way you dumb screen looker! I couldn’t have killed him right from dinner, the Monojoe file says the death occurred at 10 o’clock.

Gus: Just because the death didn’t happen right after dinner, doesn’t mean you aren’t the culprit.

Miles: You could’ve left early to go down there and set up to kill Ryan.

Ray: No, I left early because I was feeling sick. I went back to my room and went to sleep. I probably had whatever Kerry had.

Lindsay: Pregnancy isn’t contagious.

Kerry: Shut up guys, that’s not funny, and this is serious!

MonoJoe: I think it’s funny.

Lindsay: But not that you mention it I kind of felt sick not too long ago either.

Chris: Me too.

Ray: Yeah, we all got sick from something, I just got it later.

Caleb: Haha, I caught you Ray! You said you were feeling sick, and I believe that, and that’s exactly why I think you’re guilty.

Michael: What the hell are you talking about Caleb?

Caleb: Ray was sick, and what do sick people do?

Gavin: Shit themselves?

Caleb: Well, sometimes. But what I meant, is that they vomit. And there is vomit at the scene of the crime. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

Gus: It all makes perfect sense. Ray left dinner early and waited for Ryan in the basement.

Miles: Ray vomited because he was sick.

Monty: Um, guys-

Geoff: Ray you sack of shit, how could you do this!?

Jack: Ray did you really kill Ryan?

Monty: Guys-

Chris: This is terrible, Ray’s a murderer!

Kerry: Your vomit gave you up Ray!

_Lllllllllet’s stop_

Ray: The vomit couldn’t have been mine, in fact I think that’s what Monty was going to say.

Monty: Thank you Ray. The vomit could have been most people here’s EXCEPT for Ray. I examined the vomit and found a few things in it.

Lindsay: Ew, why would you look at the vomit?

Monty: Because like I said, I found a few things in it. Do you know what they are?

Ray: Food?

Monty: Specifically the dinner Geoff made everyone last night. And Ray didn’t eat any dinner last night. I do believe that vomit belonged to the killer, so that would eliminate anyone who wasn’t at dinner, but we still have a lot to look at before we can start pointing fingers.

Ray: Yeah Caleb, don’t just start blaming me before looking at everything!

Caleb: I’m sorry! I just don’t want to die!

Monty: Calm down, and let’s look at the evidence. We don’t even have a clue why Ryan was in the basement in the first place.

Gus: My guess would be to get one of the props down there to use for defense.

Lindsay: I mean I went down earlier and got the 3D printed Crescent Rose I didn’t know we had to keep in my room for safety. 

Jack: He probably thought we were going to gang up on him since he didn’t want to show his motive picture. 

Burnie: He did get really paranoid after MonoJoe gave us the motive. That’s probably why he wasn’t at dinner either.

Ray: I actually did run into Ryan when I left dinner, he told me he felt like everyone was afraid of him and didn’t want to face you guys.

Chris: Poor guy, it must stink to think everyone hates you.

Kerry: I wonder what that feels like.

Gus: Speaking of the picture, what happened to it?

Michael: Is that really what you’re thinking about now? Ryan is dead and all you can think about is an embarrassing picture of him?

Gus: It’s not that, it’s just where did they go? You investigated his body, right Monty? Did he have the picture on him?

Monty: No he didn’t. There was nothing interesting on him at all.

Burnie: And I didn’t see the letter in his room when I investigated it.

Kerry: Maybe he burned the pictures? 

Geoff: Impossible, the incinerator is locked up. Burnie made it so we take turns on garbage duty, and it’s my turn so I have the key, and Ryan never asked me to get in there.

Michael: So what, did the picture just disappear into thin air?

Gavin: I’m sure he made sure we wouldn’t be able to find them, he really didn’t to show us.

Jack: So did he put it somewhere we would never find it?

Ray: No, he must’ve had them on him. Before Monty looked at the body one of Ryan’s right pocket was turned inside out. The killer probably took the pictures out of the pocket, but was in a rush so they turned out the pocket.

Lindsay: So the killer took the pictures? When did they take them?

Michael: Well if the pocket was turned out, it would’ve had to be after he died?

Ray: They probably grabbed the ladder we used to get down in the pit and forgot to put it back. 

Miles: So they grabbed the pictures and probably placed Ray’s wristband in the pit to frame him. 

Chris: Maybe we should search everyone’s rooms and look for the pictures?

MonoJoe: Hell no! The trials can’t be too long, and that will drag it on.

Monty: Exactly how much time do we have in a trial?

MonoJoe: Enough. Now don’t waste any of it.

Gus: So why would someone take the pictures in the first place?

Monty: I doubt we will be able to figure out why until we can pinpoint someone. 

Caleb: Well somebody has to have an idea of someone.

Monty: Well one thing we need to figure is who could have been down there. There wasn’t a note to tell Ryan to go down there either so why was some else down there with him.

Burnie: So it could have been anyone?

Geoff: No, I doubt it could be just any one. It would have had to have been someone strong to be able to push Ryan in. Ryan isn’t a wimp after all.

_Ju Blu_

Ray: They wouldn’t have to be strong if they used a prop to help them.

Chris: Like a ring of strength to make them stronger?

Ray: No, something real. Like the camera and tripod we found broken in the pit.

Miles: Why wouldn’t they have just taken the tripod out when they went to get the pictures?

Michael: Maybe they’re just stupid?

Monty: No, the logic in our thinking is that we believe this person planned the murder out. It seems far more likely that it was a spur of the moment thing and the killer was more concerned with not being at the crime scene. The killer probably killed him before realizing how vile it was and didn’t want to stick around. 

Jack: So why a camera, who would think to use that as opposed to some of the actual weapons?

Gus: Ryan probably would’ve noticed a real weapon before it was too late, but maybe the purpose of Ryan being down.

Caleb: Why would Ryan need a camera in the first place?

Monty: It probably had something to do with his paranoia. 

Geoff: Maybe he wanted to set it up to see if someone was going to kill him.

Chris: Maybe he wanted to send us a message, but was too afraid to tell us in person.

Kerry: He probably wanted to spy on us!

_Bullshit!_

Ray: Ryan told me himself he wanted to get all of you to trust him again. He said he had a plan, but he never said exactly what the plan was. He probably had some plan to use the camera to prevent any murders.

Monty: He might not have known enough about cameras and needed someone to help him. But who would he be able to help him that he trusted?

>As soon as Monty said this Ray began to look around the room. He knew there was only one person in this room who had experience with cameras that also knew Ryan well.

_It’s you!_

Ray: Gavin, you’ve worked on the set of major movies before, haven’t you?

Gavin: Yeah, but what does that have to do with this?

Jack: Ray, you can’t be saying what I think you’re saying?

Ray: I don’t want to say it, it feels wrong, but the only person I can think of is you Gavin.

Gavin: WOT! You’re saying I killed Ryan? 

Michael: Yeah, I mean doesn’t Gavin seem a little too stupid to kill anyone?

Geoff: I know it seemed like Gavin and Ryan hated each other, but I doubt Gavin would want to kill Ryan.

Lindsay: You can’t really believe Gavin would do that?

Ray: As much as I hate it, he’s the only one.

Monty: Ray’s right. It had to be him.

Burnie: I hate to agree, but-

Michael: SHUT UP! It’s not Gavin, okay? We just have to go back to the clues and find someone else!

Gavin: Micool, you don’t need to defend me.

Michael: Stay out of this Gavin, you’re only going to make it worse, I know you can’t be guilty!

Geoff: Michael’s right! It has to be someone else! Let’s look at everything again! Can we even be sure the tripod was the weapon? It probably was just at the edge and fell in!

Gus: Guys, don’t you think the possibility is worth exploring?

Michael: No, it’s not. It’s wrong and we’re just wasting our time.

Lindsay: Michael, are you okay?

Michael: No, I’m not okay! One of my best friends is accusing another one of my best friends of being murderer! What part of that is okay?!?!

Gavin: Micool, don’t cry!

Geoff: Gavin, tell Ray that it’s not possible that you killed Ryan!

Gavin: …

Michael: COME ON DUMBASS! TELL HIM IT’S IMPOSSIBLE! TELL HIM!

Gavin: ……

Jack: Gavin, why aren’t you saying anything?

Gavin: ………

Monty: Well if Gavin isn’t going to say anything, maybe we should go over the whole case, just to be sure. Ray, I leave it up to you.

**Closing Arguments**

Ray: Here’s how it went down.

Act 1: MonoJoe gave us our motives, which all of us immediately showed off because we had no shame. All of us, except for Ryan. Ryan liked to maintain some privacy, and the picture was way more than he actually wanted us to know. While this is a perfectly reasonable excuse, it caused everyone to be wary of Ryan.

Act 2: While people were having dinner, Ryan was too afraid to join in because he thought everyone hated him. After talking to me, he had an idea on a way to become trusted again. He needed help, and only one person among us could help him, the culprit.

Act 3: The culprit agreed to help Ryan and they went to the basement to get the supplies. While there, Ryan was near the spike pit. The killer had no chance of overpowering Ryan, so they threw the camera and tripod at Ryan and knocked him and the camera into the pit.

Act 4: With Ryan now dead, the killer only needed one more thing, Ryan’s picture. They grabbed a ladder and went into the pit. They weren’t ready for the gory sight before them, and threw up in disgust. They then grabbed the pictures from his pocket and proceeded to run away. 

Ray: There’s only one person here who could have been involved, isn’t that right, Gavin? If everyone here still isn’t convinced, then maybe Gavin should turn out his pockets and show us the envelope.

Gavin: I admit it! There’s no need to turn my pockets out! It was me! I killed Ryan!

**Trial End.**

Everyone stared at Gavin, still in shock of the confession.

“YEP! YOU ALL FUCKING GOT IT RIGHT! WAY TO FREAKING GO!” MonoJoe yelled.

“bu, bu, why Gavin?” Michael asked. “WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?! WHY?!” Michael was yelling now.

“Michael please-“

“NO GAVIN! HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU?!”

“Michael-“ Ray tried to but in.

“NO SHUT THE FUCK UP RAY!”

“It was an accident! I mean you all got how it happened right. But you didn’t get one part of that right.” Gavin tried to explain.

“You tripped didn’t you?” Monty said. “you dumbass.”

“Yeah I did. My shoes were untied and there was some un level flooring in there. Tripped over my own feet, when I was falling I threw the tripod out of my hands and it hit Ryan and knocked him in. I got a nasty bruise to prove it.” Gavin explained as he lifted up his shirt. Sure enough, there was a big bruise on the side of his torso.

“So you didn’t mean to kill him?” Geoff said, almost relieved.

“Of course not! I wanted to help him!” Gavin exclaimed. “Wait, does this mean I get executed. What’s that one type of murder where the guy didn’t mean to kill the guy?”

“Involuntary manslaughter.” Monty answered 

“Right! That’s not normally a death sentence right? Does that mean I have to die?”

Monojoe sigh, “No dumbass you’re still going to be executed. Caboose killed Church and look what happened to him.”

“Nothing happened to Caboose. He was fine. I fucking wrote that! There were no consequences for his actions!” Burnie yelled.

“Hey I never said it was a perfect metaphor.” Monojoe replied.

“IT WASN’T A METAPHOR AT ALL!” Burnie yelled angrily.

“So wait, I have one last question.” Gus said. “What was on Ryan’s motive letter?”

“I didn’t look. But he really didn’t want anyone to know, so I guess I have to take that shit to my grave.” Gavin replied.

“Alright kid any last word before you kick the bucket?” MonoJoe asked. Gavin began to tear up at the thought of his own mortality.

“I… I really… don’t want to die you guys. But… I guess… I’m sorry for fucking everything up. It won’t happen again. So I’ll see you all around. It was fun.” Gavin said smiling through the tears.

“Oh I got a special execution planned for you boi!” MonoJoe Pulled out his red button and mallet. “Game over: Gavin Free.” MonoJoe yelled as he slammed the mallet down onto the button.

“GAVIN NO!” Michael yelled through his own tears.

Gavin was then grabbed by a metal claw and dragged into a set which contained a small wooden house with no doors. Lava then began to pool into the house. Everything around him started catching on fire. As the walls around him started melting and burning, Gavin screamed as he tried to move away from the flames. Before the flames catch up to him, Gavin managed to break one of the windows in the house. He climbed out the window, bleeding from cuts caused by broken glass and coughing from smoke inhalation. Just when he thought he was free from his execution, the house exploded, as if in slow motion. Slowly but surely, flaming debris from the house impaled the slow motion photographer until all signs of life were gone.

The remaining RT employees stared in aw at the sight of the execution. Michael fell to his knees sobbing. Geoff was almost as bad. Jack just stood there covering his mouth. Miles had made an effort to cover Kerry’s eyes. Lindsay has already started to try and comfort her husband. Everyone else just continued to stare.

“Well that was fucked up” Chris said in an attempt to break the silence. Everyone turned and glared at Chris in disgust.

“You’re an idiot I hope someone kills you next.” Monojoe interjected

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And that is how the first trial at the new office went down. We lost two of our friends that day. And honestly it still hurts. But there was nothing we could do. Except beat the ever living shit out of Chris, which we did by the way. The worst part about all of this is that it wasn’t the only time someone got killed. It happened again._


	7. Chapter 2 Part 1: New Life and Video Game Days

_For a week after the trial, the whole office was silent. Everybody kept to themselves, not knowing how to handle their sadness. We only left our rooms for food. It was absolutely awful. Some of us finally were able to venture out of our rooms because we were fucking sick of moping around. Though some of us were not ready to face the world again._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a knock on Ray’s door. Ray rolled out of bed to go answer it. As he opened up the door he saw the excited faces of Caleb and Jack.

“God who injected pep into you guys?” Ray asked as he rubbed his eyes.

“We made a discovery!” Caleb exclaimed happily.

“I don’t think my sanity can take another discovery. Or what’s left of my heart for that matter.”

“No. we promise this is a good thing.“ Jack said as he grabbed Ray by the arm and dragged him out of his room.

“Where are we going?” Ray asked. Jack and Caleb marched him up the stairs. Once they got to the first floor, Ray realized that the stairs to the second floor were now opened. “So we can walk up another flight of stairs. Woopty freakin doo.”

“Apparently this is our reward for being good sleuths.” Monty said as he entered the stairwell. “But what you’ll really like is what’s on the second floor.”

“Come on. You’ll like it I promise.” Jack said as he tugged Ray along further. Once the group reached the top of the stairs, Ray looked at the door to the second floor and noticed a very familiar green star logo.

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!” Ray yelled excitedly. It had been a while since he had actually smiled.

“Yep!” Caleb replied as Ray slammed the door open. Inside Burnie was sitting at Michael’s desk playing the Halo 4 single play campaign. Gus was standing behind him watching.

“This is great! Now we can do our jobs again!” Ray exclaimed happily. But then an annoying voice came from behind the wall.

“Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu.” MonoJoe laughed as he stepped onto Michael’s desk and blocked Burnie’s view. He then proceeded to slap the controller out of Burnie’s hands. “Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu. Fucking loser plays video games on his own. Christ look at him sources say.”

“HEY!” Burnie yelled as he flipped the cat off.

“#stopthebullying” Ray said quietly.

“Actually as fun as that was, I’m actually here to burst BrownMan’s bubble. There is no internet access here. You can’t do multiplayer shit unless it’s splitscreen, let alone upload anything. But besides, you lost two fan favorites, your dumbass foreign twink and your creepy hot dad. Who would you even replace them with? Lindsay and Caleb? Nobody likes them.” MonoJoe said calmly.

“God you are such a fucking asshole!” Jack said angrily.

“Rude!” Caleb huffed.

“I forgot to mention that everyone hates Jack too.” MonoJoe continued. “And don’t even get me started on Ray; I should have made your title, ‘Ultimate Problematic’.”

“ALRIGHT WE GET IT! We still can’t technically do our jobs and we all suck mad dick. You can go now.” Ray said as he pointed at the door.

“Alright as long as you all know that you are all sacks of shit and everyone hates you.” MonoJoe said as he hopped off of Michael’s desk and headed out the door.

“LEAVE!” Burnie and Jack yelled simultaneously. And with that MonoJoe left the room.

“That cat sure knows how to do wonders on a person’s self-esteem.” Gus remarked 

“Anyway.” Monty interrupted, “We found that this floor is just pure video games. This first room is the Achievement Hunter main room. Down the hall, there is the editors’ room. And the other rooms are just video gamers paradise. Kerry found his Vita and is trying to bang anime chicks again. Chris is watching Miles play Sonic Adventure 2 on the Dreamcast in the other room. Now if you excuse me, one of the other rooms has DDR and I have earned that.” Monty said as he exited through the door that led to the main hall. Everyone else looked at Jack.

“So… have you told Michael, Lindsay and Geoff yet?” Ray asked.

Jack sighed. “No, the three of them won’t leave their rooms. I feel like Lindsay and Geoff would feel a lot better up here. Michael’s a bit of a wildcard right now. But you never know. Maybe a ‘Rage Quit’ would help him express his left over feelings.”

“Then we should go get them. Also I’d like to go downstairs and actually get dressed.” Ray said as he looked down at his pajama pants. He then exited through the stairwell door and headed back down to the basement. He went to his room, immediately put pants on, and then went straight to Geoff’s room. Ray knocked on the door and waited for Geoff to answer. When Geoff finally opened the door, he was not pleased.

“What the hell do you want?” Geoff asked angrily.

“Just checking in on you.” Geoff continued to glare at him, as if he was just expecting Ray to give up and leave him alone. “So…” Ray began to lean on the doorway. “Did you hear about video games?” Ray asked. Geoff lifted up his arm, as if to say, ‘is this guy fucking serious?’. “Actually I came down here to let you know that we can go to the second floor now, And it’s all Achievement Hunter. They have our desks, our mics, and more games than we had before.” Ray said with a smile. Geoff’s eyes lit up for the first time since they had been trapped.

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!” Geoff yelled with glee.

“I SAID THE EXACT SAME THING!” Ray yelled with an equal amount of excitement.

“WELL WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR LETS FUCKING GO DICKHEAD!”

Ray looked at his boss. “Actually could you put on some pants first?” Geoff was still in his boxers.

“There’s no time for pants when we can get at least a small part of our lives back!” Geoff whined.

“Geoff please. There is always-“Ray was interrupted by the sound of knocking on another door.

“Michael. Please come out. I miss you.” Ray and Geoff turned in the direction of the voice to find Lindsay knocking on Michael’s door. “It’s been days. Please!” Lindsay said as she knocked on the door harder. Ray and Geoff walked down the hall to where Lindsay was standing. Ray tapped her on the shoulder. “GAAAAhh! Shit, you scared me.” Lindsay said as she turned around.

“Trying to get Michael out again?” Ray asked.

“Yeah. And I see you managed to leave your own room AND coax Geoff out of his.”

“Yeah. Actually Jack got me out.” Ray replied sheepishly.

“DID YOU HEAR ABOUT VIDEO GAMES?!” Geoff yelled in excitement.

“Yeah, I was with Monty when we found it the other day. And I’m hoping that will bring Michael out too.” Suddenly there was a click of the door knob. Michael finally opened the door. It looked like he hadn’t slept in days, he was pale and his eyes were red from days of sadness.

After a long pause with Michael just staring the group down, he finally let out a, “What.”

“We found Achievement Hunter.” Ray offered up.

“Great.” Michael replied as he tried to close the door. However, Lindsay shoved he arm in the door before he could fully close it.

“OK THAT’S IT!” Lindsay yelled. “I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOUR MOPPINESS. YOU LOOK AND SMELL LIKE SHIT. YOU WON’T TALK TO ANYONE. WE HAVEN’T FUCKED IN A WEEK!”

“Yeah and now everyone can get a decent night’s sleep.” Geoff murmured under his breath.

“YOU ARE LEAVING THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW AND GOING TO THE ACHIEVEMENT HUNTER OFFICE! COME ON!” she screamed as she grabbed Michael’s arm and jerked him right out of the room. Ray and Geoff glanced at each other before following Michael and Lindsay upstairs.

Once the group of them made it back to the Achievement Hunter Office, they noticed that Jack and Caleb had since left and Kerry had entered. Geoff immediately dropped to the floor. “Oh my god it is so good to be backing here this is AMAZING!” Geoff rambled off while rolling around on the floor. Everyone stared at him.

“Uh is Geoff having an orgasm? I don’t think my virgin eyes could handle that.” Kerry said.

“Shut up. And aren’t you supposed to be pregnant or something?”

“NO!” Kerry said angrily.

“By the way Kerry,” Ray interjected. “How’s fucking anime chicks?”

“Great! Chie is still best girl.” Kerry replied in a much happier tone.

“Ok can I go now?” Michael asked, still annoyed by the situation.

“What do you mean? You just got here.” Burnie asked.

“I mean, I don’t fucking want to be here.” Michael snapped.

“Michael-“ Lindsay started

“NO YOU CAN’T FUCKING KEEP ME HERE! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO ANYWAY? GAVIN AND RYAN ARE DEAD!”

“Barbara is dead too.” Gus added

“NOBODY CARES!”

“We can still play without them. I feel like they would want us to keep playing instead of giving up.” Ray said.

“IT’S YOUR FUCKING FAULT GAVIN’S DEAD!” Michael screamed as he exited the room, slamming the door behind him. Ray sighed in defeat as he went to his desk and sat down.

Geoff sat up, “If it’s any consolation, I don’t blame you anymore. Gavin messed up, you called him out, and he owned up to what he did. If he didn’t then the rest of us might be dead. He was a good guy. Ryan was too. Everything still hurts but I doubt either one of them would want us to mope around. Michael will come around eventually. I’ll talk to him if I have too but hopefully I won’t.” Geoff got up off of the floor and walked over to his desk and sat down.

“Oh are you gonna play something?” Gus asked as he glanced over at the Xbox loading screen that was on the display on Geoff’s monitor. Then the Minecraft logo appeared on his screen.

“Minecraft huh? What do you plan on doing?” Lindsay asked as she began to hover over Geoff’s shoulder. Soon everyone in the room watched as Geoff booted up Achievement City in creative mode. He went up to both Gavin and Ryan’s houses and raised towers of pimps in front of both of them.

“Is that really going to be you’re memorial to them?” Gus asked.

“Yep. They probably wouldn’t mind that.” Geoff replied. Ray put his hand on Geoff’s shoulder to reassure him that everything was going to be alright.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Everything from that point did get better actually. Everybody started hanging out again and resetting their severed bonds with video games. Hell even Michael eventually came out of his room to play. Boredom can finally get to even the most stubborn of us. But none of that really mattered. Especially when our shit was about to get wrecked again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> starting on march 1st, updates will be daily from that point on.


	8. Chapter 2 Part 2: Tragedies in Mourning

_It took about a week for everything to get fully back to normal again. Of course it wasn’t really normal, but as normal as it could be. We were a broken bunch. Even though we managed to piece ourselves back together, I would be very easy to pull us apart again. And that is exactly what MonoJoe did._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been about a week since the discovery of the Achievement Hunter office. People were talking together again. This time it was dinner time. It was Burnie’s turn to cook.

“This is nice.” Jack remarked with a smile.

“What is?” Miles asked.

“The fact that it’s peaceful again.”

“Yeah. It really is.” Ray agreed. Ray looked around the room. Miles was sitting with Kerry. Lindsay was sitting with Michael, who still wasn’t talking much. Gus, Geoff, Caleb and Chris were sitting off on their own, but at least they were in the room. Everything was the calmest it had been in a while. Suddenly an unfortunatly familiar laugh interrupted the peace once again.

“Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu. Your peace bores the shit out of me.” MonoJoe said as he hopped onto the counter at his usual spot.

“Can you not disrupt us? Like just this once!” Lindsay yelled at the cat.

“No can do cockbite. I’ve let the dust settle from your last string of deaths long enough. So I got a new set of motives.”

“If your motives are as shitty as last time then I can’t wait to see this.” Gus said.

“Oh I think even you’ll be rattled by this. You see, I’ve learned that y’all are motivated by sadness, and my last motive wasn’t nearly as despair inducing as it needed to be. So this one is simple and to the point.”

“I bet it’s just as bad.” Kerry said.

“I bet my six word motive will easily lead to a dead body by morning.”

“Prove it.” Monty said, glaring at Monojoe.

“Fine.” Monojoe cleared his throat. “All of your families are dead.”

“What?” Geoff said quietly.

“You heard me Ramsey, your family is dead. Your wife, your parents, your siblings if you had any. And the same goes for the rest of you, any significant others you had or living relatives you had are dead now.”

“No… you have to be lying…” Jack said slowly.

“I haven’t lied to you yet fatass. What makes you think I’m gonna start now?” MonoJoe smiled. “Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu. Have fun with the knowledge that everyone you’ve ever loved is dead.” MonoJoes said as he disappeared once more.

“…this cannot be happening…” Michael said stunned

“I can’t believe Aaron is dead…” Chris said sadly.

“THIS IS SERIOUS ASSHOLE!” Burnie yelled distraughtly. “Ashley is dead!”

“Forget about Ashley! What about my Arryn?” Miles yelled.

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye to Caiti…”Jack mumbled.

“GRIFFON CAN’T BE FUCKING DEAD!” Geoff yelled “SHE JUST CAN’T BE!”

“no. no. no. no. no….” Michael said as he started shaking.

“Michael. It’s ok I’m right here.” Lindsay said, trying to calm her husband down.

“BUT THAT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU!” Michael yelled as tears began to fall.

“BUT IT’S NOT YOU FUCKING DICK! LINDSAY’S RIGHT THERE!” Geoff yelled “YOU STILL HAVE YOUR FUCKING WIFE! MY FAMILY IS GONE!”

“Geoff you’re not the only one…” Jack tried to interrupt.

“JACK YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW! NONE OF YOU EVEN KNOW!”

“FUCK YOU GEOFF!” Miles yelled.

“Yeah, I’ve been married for years! This fucking hurts!” Gus exclaimed finally raising his voice.

“And just because I didn’t put a ring on Arryn’s hand doesn’t mean I didn’t love her!” Miles yelled.

“You don’t get to make this about you!” Michael chimed in.

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! GRIFFON WAS MY WORLD!” Geoff screamed

“That may be true, but that doesn’t mean you get to undermine our losses!” Burnie yelled

“Arryn was the best girl a guy could ask for!” Miles yelled again.

“Yeah. Why is this the Geoff show now?!” Michael adds.

“Shut the fuck up Michael! You didn’t even lose anyone!”

“I lost my parents! We all lost someone!”

“You still have your wife!”

“That doesn’t mean he didn’t suffer a loss!” Jack said.

“Stay out of this jack. This isn’t about you!” Geoff said.

“This isn’t about you either! It’s about all of us!”

“How long did you even know Caiti?”

“DON’T YOU DARE ACT LIKE I DIDN’T LOVE HER LIKE YOU LOVED GRIFFON YOU FUCKING PRICK!”

“MAYBE YOU DID MAYBE YOU DIDN’T!” Geoff insinuated. Jack balled up his hand into a fist, getting ready to throw a punch. Ray noticed immediately and grabbed Jacks hand before he could swing it.

“ENOUGH!” Ray yelled at the top of his lungs. “Enough.” Jack and Geoff stared each other down. “This is the exact type of chaos MonoJoe wants from us. But we can’t give it to him. We’re better than this guys. This is a hard time but we have to rise above it!”

“He’s right.” Lindsay said, still holding Michael. “We can’t do this.”

“I think we should call it a night early.” Monty suggested. “Today was rough.”

“You can say that again. Come on Miles. Off to bed with you.” Kerry said as he stood up. He then began to coax a very red-faced Miles out of the kitchen. He was then followed by Caleb, Chris, Monty, and a quietly murmuring Gus.

“Michael, we’re going come on.” Lindsay said as she grabbed Michael and dragged him away. Michael glared at Geoff the whole time he was walking away. Geoff promptly stormed out of the kitchen with a quiet and sad Burnie right behind him. This just left Jack and Ray alone. Jack turned to leave as well but was stopped by Ray.

“Jack hold up a second.” Ray said calmly. Jack stopped at the door. “Come back and talk to me for a bit.” Ray said and he patted the seat next to him. Jack walked over and sat down next to Ray. He then proceeded to slam his head down on the table.

“This is so fucked up.” Jack said sadly. Ray started to rub Jack’s back.

“This whole thing is beyond fucked up.” Ray replied. “But we can’t let it get the best of us.”

“Look, I get that Geoff lost his adopted British son and now his wife, but he just can’t do shit like that!”

“I know what he said was fucked up. But we have to let it go.”

“How can he just say my marriage wasn’t as loving as his?”

“I get it. Him saying that he’s they only one suffering is bullshit. I loved Tina just like you loved Caiti and he loved Griffon. He was an ass. But that’s because he’s upset.”

“I feel bad for yelling.”

“You don’t have to feel bad about it. Just get that this shit sucks for everyone. We all learned that we lost a lot today. And as long as we know we should support each other. I know that’s what Caiti would have wanted. And I’m pretty sure Griffon would want us all to be strong.”

“I should apologize to Geoff. His losses hurt a lot.”

“You should give him a break. I feel like he’s still pretty raw and he might punch you in your massive dick. He probably would actually punch all of us in the dick to be honest.”

“Even Lindsay?”

“Especially Lindsay.”

“You’re right though, I should leave Geoff alone. God we’re all ticking time bombs aren’t we?”

“We don’t have to be if we try hard enough.” Ray said with a smile. He got up to leave the kitchen. “I know you care a lot Jack, but try to relax. We all need to in this.” And with that Ray left Jack alone in the kitchen to head to bed in his room.

The next morning was pretty quiet. Ray woke up colder than usual. He grabbed his twitch hoodie and left the room to go each breakfast. Once he arrived in the kitchen he noticed that he was not the only one wearing a hoodie.

“Ok so it’s not just me who’s cold this morning.” Kerry commented.

“Yeah I’m pretty sure cold flashes aren’t a symptom of pregnancy.” Ray replied.

“Oh god dammit it’s too early for this shit”

“Hey where’s Geoff? It’s his turn to make breakfast.” Burnie commented from his table.

“I don’t know. I’m just going to grab some cereal.” Chris said as he headed towards the pantry. Miles walked in wrapped up in a sweatshirt followed by Monty. Lindsay and Michael walked in too and sat down. Jack had already been sitting near Gus waiting for Geoff to arrive. Finally Caleb walked into the room. He noticed that Geoff was not in the kitchen where he should have been that morning.

“Has Geoff been in here yet?” Caleb asked

“No, he’s probably still sulking from last night.” Gus said as he finally followed Chris’s lead in going to get cereal.

“Has anyone checked on him?” Burnie asked curiously

“No. If I know him well enough, I bet he got caught up in some early morning gaming to lift his spirits.” Caleb said with a smile.

“And how well do you know him exactly?” Michael asked skeptically.

“Enough. Anyway I’m going to go check upstairs.” Caleb said as he left the kitchen. Kerry got up from his seat to go grab some cereal as well.

“Isn’t all that sugar in those cereals going to be bad for the baby?” Lindsay asked with a smirk.

“I do not give enough of a shit this morning to even want to address that.”

“Sorry Lindsay, he’s had trouble sleeping lately.” Miles said on Kerry’s behalf.

“Shut the fuck up Miles.”

“So are we all better from last night?” Ray asked finally.

“I think that our significant others would have all wanted us to try and survive instead of fight like we did last night.” Burnie replied.

“That’s more like what we need right now.” Monty said. “I think that-“ Monty was interrupted by what sounded like a little girl screaming. Ray stood up.

“Some girl’s in trouble!” Ray yelled.

“It kinda sounded like it came from upstairs.” Gus said as he dropped his cereal.

“Come on, let’s go investigate.” Ray said as he and Gus ran out the door. “Honestly I’m surprised you cared enough Gus.” Ray said as he and Gus ran up the stairs.

“Hey I’ll take any chance to make fun of Caleb.” Gus replied as they made their way up the stairs. Once they reached the top they saw Caleb standing in an open door way. His face was pale and he looked out of breath. “Dude what the fuck happened?”

Caleb just stood there shaking and pointing, just as Ray did when they discovered Ryan’s body. Gus and Ray looked inside the Achievement Hunter office to a gruesome sight. Jack’s desk has been completely messed up, with traces of blood running down it. Laying against Jacks desk was the corpse of Geoff Ramsey. His head looked like it had been bleeding profusely. Next to Geoff’s body was a broken custom controller.

“Oh fuck…” Gus breathed up. Ray stared at the sight

“This shit cannot be happening again…” Ray said quietly. Caleb let out another scream before passing out.

“Well… fuck…” Gus and Ray said simultaneously as they continued to look in horror at the sight of the latest murder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And that is how another one of us was killed. And guess what that meant. It meant we had to do the whole investigation/trial bullshit all over again. It meant that one of us had killed one of our friends. It meant that there were more points for the side of despair. MonoJoe yet again got what he wanted. But there was no way in hell that we wouldn’t figure out what happened to Geoff that night. That I can promise you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder about this chapter that anyone that has been specifically asked by the RT employees to not be put in fanfiction (IE: Caleb's brother, Anyone's kids, etc) don't exist in this universe. So I didn't kill them.


	9. Chapter 2 Part 3: Investigation START

_So yet again, just like that, we were forced to play detective for MonoJoe’s shitty little game. It was demeaning honestly. But when you are forced to try an survive, you do what you gotta do_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ah-hem, a body has been discovered. After a period of time, an office trial will be held.”

After the announcement Gus went and got everyone. They gathered in the AH body and saw Geoff’s body. Soon after MonoJoe appeared to make everything worse.

“Well it looks like we’ve got another murderer in the mix of it all! To the murderer, good job, you’re keeping things fun around here. To everyone else, you better start investigating. A hint to you guys, the killer isn’t Gavin.”

This remark was met with glares.

“Geez, tough crowd. Well anyway, here’s your MonoJoe file. Haaaaaaave fuuuuuun. And if you don’t, I’ll kill ya! Byyyyyyyyyyyyyye!”

With that, MonoJoe left and everyone began investigating. Nobody needed to give any instruction this time. Jack and Caleb stayed by the body to guard it, Monty started looking at the body, and everyone else went investigating on their own.

Ray started by looking at the MonoJoe file. 

“Victim: Geoff “Lazer” Ramsey. Found: dead in the Achievement Hunter office. The death occurred at night. The victim was killed by multiple blows to the head with a hard object. There are bruises on the victim’s body, but they are not fatal.”

Ray then went to Monty to ask him about the body.

“The MonoJoe file mentioned bruises on Geoff’s body. Did you find them?” Ray asked.

“Yes, I did. They were mostly around his neck.”

“So, was he strangled or something?”

“It looks that way. But I have no idea why. There’s also some bruising elsewhere on his body. I’m guessing he was thrown onto the desk and that’s what caused it. And then there’s the blood under his fingernails. I don’t know where it came from.”

“Well is not linked to the blood from his head?”

“It’s underneath the fingernails, there’s no way the blood came from there. He had to have had his hands in blood or something like that.”

Miles, who had been listening, came over and asked if there was anything else interesting.

“Well the bloody Xbox controller is the only other thing I haven’t looked at.” Monty said as he wiped off some blood to get a better look at it. “Ray, you would know more about this. Whose controller this is?

Ray looked at the controller. “That’s Jack’s custom controller. But why would they use his?”

“Wait, isn’t the messed up desk also Jack’s?” Miles interjected.

“Yeah, but you better not be saying what I think you’re saying, are you Miles?”

“I’m just saying it sure is a coincidence.” Miles said as he walked away.

Monty shook his head and said, “Already starting to come up with a culprit. This trial is going to suck. Ray, how about you go and check around some more?”

Ray got up and saw Burnie holding something in his hand and went over to see what was going on.

“Whatcha got there Burnie?”

“I found a bunch of pieces of paper ripped up on the floor. I think it might be a message that was torn up by the killer. I’ve been putting them together to get whatever the message is. I think it says ‘Meet in the AH office at 9’.”

“It looks like you’re still missing some pieces.”

“I know, but I can’t find anymore. Hey Chris! Make yourself useful and look for scraps of paper!”

As Ray went to leave he was still cold. He thought about getting the AH scarf they keep in the office to stay warm, but he looked over and saw that one wasn’t there. The Achievement Hunter one wasn’t there. He thought someone else might’ve had the same idea, but took note of it just to be safe. He then took the X-ray and Vav scarf and left.

When he left the office and saw Gus, Michael, and Lindsay talking to MonoJoe and went to listen in.

“So if you didn’t change the temperature in the building, who did?” Gus asked.

“One of you assholes did it, it wasn’t me.” MonoJoe replied. “And I don’t care about the cold, I have all of this soft warm fur to keep me warm, so the temperature is of no issue.”

“Well your cat hair sucks!” Lindsay insulted.

“Ouch, the lady has injured me with her sharp words. I think I’m just not going to help you after that.”

“Good, you’d probably give us fake help anyway, asswipe!” Michael shouted.

As they finished talking to MonoJoe, Kerry came by.

“Um, guys, I think I found the controls for the temperature in the basement. They’re behind the gate in the incinerator in the garbage room. But the gate’s unlocked.” Kerry informed the group.

They all went down to the incinerator to see that Kerry was right. The gate blocking off the room was open. There was an AC control panel in the room that was turned down really low. Gus went over to change it so it wasn’t cold as dicks, but MonoJoe jumped out of nowhere and pushed him away.

“Lol, nope.” MonoJoe laughed. “The AC controls were changed to make it cold, so you assholes have to suffer.” MonoJoe then proceeded to nail a plastic box around the controller so none of them could mess with it. “If you find the killer, I might consider changing the controls back to a normal temperature. Or maybe I’ll just let you all suffer. We’ll see.”

Gus then asked why the room was open. 

“Well one of you guys opened it of course. I locked it up so you guys wouldn’t be able to kill someone and throw the body down the incinerator so it wouldn’t be unfair. Unless you were the one on Burnie’s garbage duty, but then it would be obvious. But the dumbass managed to lose the key in a way that I can’t recover it, and I’m not making another, so now the room will have free roaming. Oh, and one more thing…”

*DING DONG, BING BONG*

MonoJoe disappeared, then reappeared on the monitor.

“It is now time for the office trial. Please report to my fabulous CEO office of awesomeness and don’t bitch about not having enough time.”

Once again, everyone gathered around the elevator and waited. They got on and went down to the courtroom. They realized the design had changed from last time. The walls were AH green and covered in stars.

“What’s with the new design?” Burnie asked.

“Oh, just trying to mix things up.” MonoJoe replied. “I figured an AH themed court room would be fitting since the head of AH is dead. No more questions, everyone get to your spots.”

Everyone got to their spots and the second office trial began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And thus began the second office trial of the new RT office. You really would have thought that just maybe wouldn’t kill anyone this time, but nope. And just like the last one, the end results weren’t pretty. And MonoJoe was way more of a dick for no reason. But I’m getting to that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, just a friendly reminder that, we'd love to hear your feedback. Thanks for reading.


	10. Chapter 2 Part 4: Who Bashed the Boss

Trial#2

Evidence

MonoJoe file #2-The death took place at night. The victim has bruises and multiple knocks on the head with a hard object which resulted in his death.

Jack’s custom controller-Found covered broken and covered in blood, it is most likely the murder weapon.

Jack’s desk-Found completely messed up, with a small amount of blood on it.

Bruises on the neck-Bruises were found on the victim’s neck.

Blood under fingernails-Blood was found underneath victim’s fingernails. Likely not their own.

Missing scarf-There were multiple AH themed scarfs in the office and the Achievement Hunter one was missing

Note-Says meet me in the AH office. Was torn up, but not all parts were recovered.

Open incinerator room-The incinerator room was found open without the key.

AC controls-Turned to a low temperature to make the whole building cold. Located in next to incinerator in garbage room.

Monojoe: Let’s begin with a basic explanation of the office trial. So, your votes will determine the results. If you can figure out “whodunnit” then only they will receive punishment. But if you pick the wrong one… Then I’ll punish everyone besides the team killing fucktard, and the one that deceived everyone else will retire! Without further ado, let’s get this trial underway.

Miles: So we all agree Jack did it right?

Jack: What the hell Miles?

Burnie: I don’t remember agreeing to that.

Miles: Well I think we can agree that this one is a murder. I don’t think Geoff bashed his skull in with a controller or that someone did it by accident.

Monty: I can agree that it’s not an accident, but I think blaming Jack seems a little preemptive.

Lindsay: Just because it was Jack’s stuff that was messed up doesn’t mean it was him. It’s not like his controller is under lock and key.

Gus: You’re right, but it still seems odd that both his desk and controller were involved in the case. It could be a coincidence, but we can’t eliminate the possibility of Jack being the killer.

Chris: Jack seems a little too nice to kill anyone.

Caleb: Gavin seemed too stupid to kill anyone but he still did.

Michael: Hey, Gavin killed Ryan by accident, asshole!

Caleb: I’m just saying, it’s too early to eliminate anyone.

Michael: Well fuck you anyway!

Monty: Now that you have your accusations out of the way, how about we look at the whole crime scene.

Gus: I want to know why Geoff was in the office in the first place.

Caleb: Yeah, everyone went to bed early last night because of the dinner freak out.

Miles: I think he went there really late. 

Kerry: Maybe he woke up in the middle of the night and decided to go play some video games?

_No, that’s wrong!_

Ray: No, that’s stupid.

Kerry: Your mom’s stupid!

>MonoJoe blasts a Rap air horn

MonoJoe: Oh man Ray, on a scale of 1 to owned, how owned are you right now?

Ray: Um, not very.

MonoJoe: You must’ve just replied to an email titled diculous, because you are re: diculous.

Monty: Can Ray say what he wanted to say?

Ray: I don’t think he went there just to play some video games. We found a ripped up note at the scene of the crime.

Chris: What does it say?

Ray: Did you not think I was going to tell you? It says, “Meet in the AH office at 9.” 

Burnie: So when the MonoJoe file said it was at night, it didn’t mean his night time starting at 10. That’s annoyingly tricky.

MonoJoe: If you’re going to be picky like that, maybe next time I won’t give you a time…ingrates.

Burnie: You’re an asshole.

MonoJoe: I came out here to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Gus: So Geoff went to the office at 9, and the killer was waiting for them there. But why would Geoff go on his own in the first place? A couple of people were pissed off at him.

Caleb: Maybe he thought the killer was going to apologize to him or something?

Miles: Well if that was the case then why would they just knock on the door to apologize?

Monty: Geoff was likely not thinking too straight after the big fight, he probably just wanted everything to go back to normal and was ready to take a risk to make everything okay.

Chris: So Geoff just blindly took the note and went to meet with whoever it was without knowing.

Gus: Chris is right, the note doesn’t have a name on it. Geoff isn’t that stupid.

Monty: Well maybe there was something missing from the note.

_I got it!_

Ray: Monty’s right. Looking at the pieces of the note put together, there seems to be ripped at the top and bottom. The killer and victims’ names were probably on these parts and the killer took these when they tore up the note.

Monty: Since the killer also knew about this note, I’m not so sure we can think that they’re the ones who called the meeting. The killer probably was called by Geoff because he wanted to apologize.

Miles: Yeah, so what? We’ve figured out the mystery of the note, the clues still point to Jack. Geoff wanted to apologize to him, and Jack would definitely go and meet with Geoff.

Jack: If I’m not mistaken, didn’t you freak out at Geoff too? You’re just as much of a suspect as me.

Michael: Yeah shut the fuck up Miles! No one wants to hear your bullshit!

Miles: If we’re talking about people who freaked out at Geoff, you’re a suspect too Michael!

Monty: I thought you guys liked playing Halo, not the blame game. We aren’t even quite sure how the murder went down, how about we figure out how the crime went down?

Lindsay: Monty’s right. We need to calm down and look over everything. That’s the only way we’re going to get through this.

Monty: So, if we look at the crime scene, what was used to bash his skull in?

_No duh!_

Ray: The controller obviously. We’ve already been over this.

Monty: I know, but if he had his head bashed in, but was there anything else wrong with him?

_Um, I think!_

Ray: He also had bruises on his neck.

Monty: Exactly. If his head was only bashed in then why would he have bruises on his neck?

Kerry: Maybe they missed a few hits to the head? 

Gus: No dumbass, bruises on the neck mean he was probably strangled.

Lindsay: Strangled? Why would they strangle him, then bash his head in?

Chris: They might’ve strangled him to death and then bashed his head in, maybe?

_The wrong train has no brakes!_

Ray: No, the MonoJoe file says the blows to the head are what caused his death.

Caleb: So what does the strangling mean?

Monty: It means that there was a struggle. Geoff’s death was likely a spur of the moment thing. Ray why don’t you show them another piece of evidence to prove the struggle?

_Here you go!_

Ray: Jack’s desk is still a piece of evidence. It’s all messed up, and that’s probably because of Geoff being thrown against it.

Miles: So what you’re telling me is this person was strong enough to strangle Geoff, and throw him against the table?

Jack: What are you trying to say?

Miles: Well, Jack’s a strong guy. He could do all of that. We can’t say the same for everyone here.

Jack: Why do you keep accusing me? Why do you think I would do this?

>Jack’s eyes begin to start watering.

Jack: Geoff was one of my best friends! I don’t even have to ability in me to kill a stranger, let alone a guy who has basically become family! I’m not a monster! Stop accusing me of murder! Stop! Stop! STOP!

>Jack begins sobbing immensely.

Jack: Please stop!

Ray: That’s enough Miles! Jack and I had a heart to heart last night. Jack felt bad about yelling at Geoff, and now he doesn’t get to apologize because Geoff is dead. There is no way in hell Jack killed Geoff. I’d believe myself being guilty before him!

Michael: Yeah, there’s no way Jack did it.

Lindsay: I agree.

Burnie: Jack’s too loveable to be a murderer.

Chris: Miles, you’re not being the man Jack Pattillo thinks you could be.

Kerry: Yeah, Jack’s the best.

Gus: Even I can’t shit talk Jack right now. Except that he’s fat. But that old news.

>Jack’s tears of sadness turned into tears of joy.

Jack: Th…thanks guys. And fuck you Gus.

Gus: No problem buddy.

MonoJoe: Gosh, I hate this emotional bullshit. Get back to the trial or I’ll start the vote immediately

Michael: Can we vote that Miles keeps his mouth shut?

MonoJoe: I’ll consider it.

Monty: Now if there are no more interruptions I would like to keep looking at the scene of the crime. So I was wondering if anyone knew if there was anything missing from the crime scene.

_I got it_

Ray: Do you mean the missing scarf?

Monty: Yes, and I was hoping we could figure out why it was missing.

Lindsay: Well it did get cold in the building. Maybe the killer got cold and took it.

Monty: I find it hard to believe the killer took it because it got a little chilly. 

Jack: Maybe they wanted to hide something?

Caleb: What would the need a scarf to hide? Did they get cut?

_I agree with that!_

Ray: Yeah, the killer probably got cut by Geoff. If you look at Geoff’s body, he has blood under his finger nails. I doubt it’s his own blood because it wouldn’t have gotten underneath. The killer probably used the scarf to cover up the cuts and prevent him being followed by a trail of blood.

Chris: Well where’s the scarf now?

Monty: Most likely the same place as the names on the note, and any other evidence we can’t find. In the incinerator.

Kerry: So the killer has to be whoever was on garbage duty! So who was it Burnie?

Burnie: Well I’m not so sure about that. The person on garbage duty was actually Geoff.

Miles: So literally anyone could have gotten into there?

Jack: Shut up Miles! Anyone could have gotten into the incinerator.

Miles: That’s what I said!

Gus: Didn’t we tell you to shut up?

Miles: Fine. Jerks.

Burnie: So wait, the killer went in there to burn things up, and they probably used the AC unit in there to make it cold. But why?

Monty: My guess is the injury was on their arm so they wanted to make it cold enough that it didn’t look suspicious that they bundled up.

Jack: Everyone but me put on a sweatshirt, and look, my arms are fine.

Caleb: Hey Miles, why don’t you take off your sweatshirt and show us what’s underneath.

Miles: Alright fine.

>Miles proceeded to take off his sweatshirt and show off his arms.

Miles: See, nothing. I didn’t want you assholes to accuse me so I went after the most obvious suspect. Are you happy?

Gus: Not really, we still don’t know who the killer is.

>Upon hearing this, Ray looked around knowing there was only one other suspect who it could be.

_No way, it has to be!_

Ray: It can’t be!

Burnie: What is it Ray?

Ray: I think I know who the killer is, but before I say I want to go over the case one more time.

**Closing Arguments**

Act 1: Everything was kicked off last night at the big dinner freak out. The four people that did the more yelling were Geoff, Jack, Miles, and the one who took it the worst, the killer. Geoff knew he messed up so he decided to talk to the killer alone. Knowing they wouldn’t answer if someone knocked on the door, Geoff slid a not telling them to meet him in the AH office, hoping it would be a better more private location.

Act 2: The killer arrived at the office and began talking to Geoff. They probably weren’t planning to kill him ahead of time because they weren’t very prepared. They attempted to strangle Geoff, but Geoff scratched their arm, causing the killer to throw them against Jack’s desk. 

Act 3: They grabbed a custom Xbox controller, which happened to be Jack’s, and proceeded to bash Geoff’s head in. After this they knew they had to get rid of the evidence. They ripped up the note Geoff gave them and left the pieces without the names at the crime scene, hoping that it would incriminate someone else. They then covered their wounds with the AH scarf and got the garbage key out of Geoff’s pocket.

Act4: After getting into the incinerator room, the killer threw the scarf, note, and any other possible evidence into the incinerator. In doing this they accidentally threw the key into the incinerator too leaving the room unlocked. They then used the AC controls in the room to make the whole building cold so they could wear a sweatshirt and cover up the scratches without seeming suspicious.

Ray: I would now like the killer to remove their sweatshirt and show the rest of us the scratches. Michael, if you would please remove your sweatshirt.

>Michael reluctantly removes his sweatshirt to reveal the scratches. Everyone gasps at this sight.

Lindsay: Michael, you didn’t… You couldn’t have…

Michael: I’m sorry, it was me. I’m the murderer.

**Trial End**

Everyone turned their heads towards Michael. MonoJoe hopped up from his seat. “DING DING DING WE HAVE A KILLER!” Nobody spoke up. Michael stared at his feet; he could feel everyone’s stares burning holes into him. “Honestly I’m not surprised you killed him. You are ‘Rage Quit’ after all. And we all thought you’d rage quit yourself, but nope you rage quit Geoff’s life instead. I” There was still silence. “It’s funny really. He gave you the job of a lifetime, you wouldn’t have met your boi or even your wife without him. And you killed him. Way to go. I hope you know you’re a monster now.”

“Shut up.” Michael whispered as he gripped his stand tightly.

“What was that Rage Quit? Did you have something to share with the rest of the class?” MonoJoe mocked.

“I SAID SHUT UP!” Michael screamed as he snapped the wood stand with his hands. He began to sob. “I’M NOT A MONSTER! I’M NOT!”

“Michael… why?” Lindsay finally asked.

“He just kept undermining my fear of losing you!” Michael said as he sobbed. “He said I had nothing to really fear and this is all in my head. BUT LOOK AT THE SITUATION WE’RE IN!”

“Michael I’ll always be here no matter what!” Lindsay said as she walked over and grabbed Michael’s splinter filled hands. “But you didn’t have to make it this way. You didn’t have to kill him!”

“I DIDN’T MEAN TO! HE JUST MADE ME SO MAD AND I SNAPPED! I NEVER WANTED HIM DEAD! I NEVER WANTED THIS!” Michael continued to sob into Lindsay’s arms.

“You never wanted to become the monster you became.” MonoJoe interjected.

“SHUT UP YOU’RE NOT HELPING!” Ray yelled.

“Who the hell ever said I was trying to help the situation.”

“You probably hate me now Linds.” Michael said sadly, tears still in his eyes.

“I can never hate you. I’m more disappointed in you than you’ll ever know. But it’s impossible for me to hate you.” Lindsay replied.

“Alright before this gets any sappier, any last words dipshit?” MonoJoe said with a huff. Michael turned away from Lindsay to face the rest of the room.

“I fucked up majorly this time. I absolutely deserve what’s coming to me. But I’m sorry. I’m sorry Lindsay for failing you and leaving you like this. I’m sorry Ray for blaming you for Gavin’s death. And I’m sorry to everyone else for being a general asshole.” He turned towards Lindsay one last time. “I think we had a good run together. I love you so much don’t you ever forget that.” He grabbed both sides of Lindsay’s face and pulled her head down so that he could kiss her forehead. He let go of her and turned to face MonoJoe. “Alright fuckface. Hit me with what you got.”

MonoJoe smiled at Michael. “Ok Rage Quit. I got something sweet cooked up for you!” MonoJoe pulled out his mallet and red button. “I call your execution, ‘The Impossible Death’” MonoJoe swung his mallet and hit his red button. “Game Over: Michael Jones.”

All of a sudden a familiar robotic claw ripped Michael away from Lindsay. Lindsay grabbed for him still as he was pulled away. Michael was then quickly strapped to a giant orange square. MonoJoe pulled out the iPhone that he had used for id rap air horn sound effect earlier. He opened up the Impossible Game app and began to play. As MonoJoe played his game, Michael was the doing the exact same movements as MonoJoe’s square. Michael’s eyes were squeezed shut the entire time, as he anticipated his demise. MonoJoe finally reached a particularly tricky portion of the level, his cursor, and by extension Michael, finally hit the infamous triple spikes. The square cursor on MonoJoe’s screen disappeared as he hit the spikes. Michael too had hit the spikes the orange square that he was strapped to exploded with Michael still attached until there was not a single trace of the angry let’s player left.

The remaining RT members watched with hardened expressions. Lindsay had turned away, not being able to watch the death of her husband.

“Well that ended with a bang.” MonoJoe joked as he put his iPhone away.

“FUCK OFF!” the RT staff yelled simultaneously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And that marked the end of trial two. Michael admitted that he had this coming. It didn’t make us feel any better about it though. In fact we all felt like shit. I mean how could we not? Lindsay was the worst after this. Scratch that, we were all the worst. But that didn’t stop a small beacon of hope from shining through the fog._


	11. Chapter 3 Part 1: A Ghost Written in Computer Code

_I wasn’t kidding when I said we’d find a small beacon of hope. And I’m not talking about RWBY either. There was something we found with our next set of discoveries that had the power to give us hope. Or at least it gave me hope. For others it did more harm than good. But the point was hope so I think it counts right? I could just be being selfish here but I still like to think finding him was for the best._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had only been a few days after Michael’s execution before people started being active again. Everybody had learned from the first trial that sulking does nothing but prolong the pain, so they kept it their sadness internal. Jack and Ray had already managed to get onto Geoff’s old copy of Achievement City to add memorials for Geoff, Michael and Barbara since they had forgotten her the first time around. The remaining employees also discovered that the third floor of the new office was dedicated to administration.

Burnie and Gus had been cooped up in their offices ever since they were discovered. It was widely assumed the Gus was writing poetry to let his inner goddess have some emotional release. On the other hand, nobody quite knew what Burnie was up to. That was of course until it revealed itself.

Ray was exploring the administrative offices one day when he heard Burnie talking to his laptop.

“No I’m not going to make him put on the cow suit. That’s just absurd.” Burnie said quietly to his computer. Ray listened in and heard the laptop beep in response. “I can’t just ask Kerry to do that without context. How mad are you?!” Finally Ray stepped in.

“Why does Kerry need a cow suit? He’s not that fat yet.” Ray said as he stepped into the office.

“GAAAAAAAAAAAH! JESUS RAY!” Burnie yelled in surprise. “Why the fuck are you even here?”

“I got bored.” Ray said casually. “Do you want me to get Kerry and a cow suit? Cause I’ll do it.”

“Fuck it, why not.” Burnie replied “Let’s just all play farm and be fucking crazy!”

“Ok,” Ray replied as he headed back towards the stairs. He walked down the stairs until he reached the basement. He entered the prop and costume room. While the memories of Ryan’s death still haunted him, Ray was able to grab the cow costume that had been handing up and he rushed right back out the door. Next, Ray walked to Miles’s room and banged on the door. “Kerry, I know you and Miles took one of the Xboxes and TVs down stairs. I know you’re playing Persona 4 and watching Miles play some sonic game. Come out!” After a minute of silence Kerry opened the door.

“What do you need?” Kerry said calmly.

“Burnie needs you to put on this cow suit.” Ray replied

“What the fuck? Why?”

“I didn’t ask. Something about getting his laptop to work I think.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

Suddenly Miles yelled from his bed. “Honey who’s at the door?”

“Ray. He said that Burnie needs me to put on a cow suit to fix his laptop.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

“That’s what I said!” Kerry exclaimed.

“Well come on anyway.” Ray said as he grabbed Kerry and ran off. Once the two of them reached Burnie’s office Ray knocked on the door. “BURNIE. I GOT KERRY AND I GOT A COW SUIT. HE’S NOT WEARING THE COW SUIT BUT I FIGURE ITS CLOSE ENOUGH!” Burnie got up from his desk and opened the door.

“For the record I have no idea what’s going on.” Kerry added

Burnie sighed. “I’m pretty sure I’ve lost control of my life.”

“You think?” Ray replied. Suddenly a familiar, but not unpleasant laugh came from the laptop.

“AhahahahahahaHAhahaha! I can’t believe you actually tried to get Kerry to dress up like a cow for me! Jesus what the fuck Burnie!” Ray’s eyes widened.

“No, that can’t possibly be who it sounds like.” Ray said quietly

“Burnie, can you come turn me around so I can actually talk to someone who isn’t you.” The voice asked. “Not that I don’t enjoy talking to you. But it would be nice to talk to someone else for a change.” Burnie groaned as he walked over to his desk. He turned his laptop around. An image of Ryan’s head was displayed on the screen. “Hello guys. The name’s AI Ryan. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” The AI said with smile.

“RYAN!” Ray screamed as he ran over and hugged the screen. “You’re back!”

“Ok, now I’m definitely not putting on the cow suit.” Kerry said.

“I can’t believe you actually considered doing that.” Burnie replied.

AI Ryan cleared his throat. “Actually Ray, about that…” Ray let go of the screen. “I’m not really Ryan. I know how he said that you can control the meat but not the mind. This is similar but also different.” Ray nodded to confirm he understood and AI Ryan continued. “You see, Ryan made me just in case something happened to him so at least he could be replaced and Achievement Hunter could continue as though everything was fine. Unfortunately Burnie informed me that Gavin, Michael, and Geoff are also gone. I’m really sorry I never got to meet them.”

“It’s fine I guess. But you’re here now so that’s ok.” Ray replied sadly.

“Burnie how long have you known about this?” Kerry asked.

“I just found him up here. Right AI Ryan?”

“… Yeah sure. I guess…” AI Ryan replied.

“Hey are you going to tell the others?” Ray asked.

“Well now I think I have too.” Burnie replied as unplugged AI Ryan from the wall.

“I swear to god if you shut this laptop I will dump all your scripts in a hole. And by hole I mean I’ll fucking delete them.” AI Ryan said as Burnie picked him up.

“Jesus calm down.” Burnie said as he took AI Ryan and walked out of his office. Ray and Kerry followed close behind. The group made it down to the kitchen to find Monty already sitting there.

“What’s with the computer” Monty asked

“Go get everyone else so I can explain it.” Burnie replied.

“I’m not an it.” AI Ryan said quietly. Monty raised an eyebrow, then immediately shrugged it off. And walked off to the go find the others.

“Kerry you check upstairs for people. Go.” Burnie ordered.

“Ok jeez.” Kerry said as he walked back up the stairs.

“So…” Ray started. “Have you just been messing around trying to get AI Ryan to work properly?” he asked Burnie.

“Hey I work fine!” AI Ryan protested.

“Yeah pretty much. He’s just as stubborn as the rest of you Achievement Hunters are/were.” Burnie replied. “But patience will reward us.”

“Easy for you to say! You don’t have someone who has almost no idea what they’re doing rooting around in your brain!” AI Ryan exclaimed.

“Dude calm down. You’re back now so you’re good.” Ray said in an attempt to calm the AI down. After a few minutes passed everybody had gathered back in the kitchen to hear what Burnie had to say.

“I was in the middle of a very expressive verse so this better be important!” Gus yelled annoyed.

“Nobody cares about your poems Gus.” Miles said as he rolled his eyes. “Blast processing my feeling; Sega Genesis. What a load of shit.”

“Don’t be fucking rude!” Kerry said as he slapped Miles upside the head.

“Ow! Kerry…”

“Enough!” Burnie interrupted. “Do you know why I called this meeting?”

“No but I have a feeling you’re about to tell us.” Jack said.

“Correct!” Burnie said as he showed his laptop to the group. “I have someone that I think it’s time you met.”

“Why do you have a picture of Ryan’s face on your computer?” Chris asked

“He is a golden god.” Lindsay replied.

“Yeah and I’m not just a pretty face.” AI Ryan interrupted.

“Holy shit it talks!” Caleb said.

“I am not an it!” the AI said again.

“Why don’t you just tell everyone who you are?” Burnie said with a sigh.

“Alright then. Hello. I am an artificial intelligence created by Ryan Haywood. My purpose is to help keep the Achievement Hunters in line in the event of my creator’s untimely demise. I know I look and sound like my creator, but the best way to explain that is that I am to Ryan what the Alpha AI was to the Director of Project Freelancer was in Red vs Blue. Except he had no intention of mentally abusing me until I isolated parts of my personality to break off and for AI fragments. Cause that would be shitty. I would just like you all to call me AI Ryan though. Not some weird code name. Or my creator’s last name. Don’t call me Haywood.” AI Ryan finished

“I’m actually surprised you knew your RvB stuff.” Burnie said, impressed.

“Yeah, well I’ve been sitting inactive on your computer for a while. I’ve had time to rectify my lack of knowledge on the subject.” AI Ryan said.

“So does this mean you’re back Ryan?” Jack asked

“No, Ryan’s still dead. I’m just a computer version.” AI Ryan Replied sadly.

“I can’t believe Ryan actually made an artificial intelligence. That’s amazing.” Monty said.

“It makes sense I guess. He was the ‘Ultimate PC Guy’.” Kerry replied.

“So any other questions?” Burnie asked.

“Yeah. How long have you known about this?” Miles asked.

“I just found him in my office. Right?” Burnie said as he looked back at the AI.

“Yeah sure…I guess…” AI Ryan said.

“Wait… if you’re a computer, does that mean you can like, hack to figure out what’s going on outside of the office?” Lindsay piped up with a glimmer of hope in her voice.

“Unfortunately no. Without internet access, I’m pretty much confined to just here. And while it’s pretty nice living in this laptop, I’m pretty much useless. I would try and leave but I’m scared MonoJoe’s system would fry me. So I’m just as stuck as the rest of you.” The AI said with a sigh. “I really wish I could help you, Lindsay, But I just can’t.”

Lindsay sighed as well. “Hey, it’s not your fault. And it’s nice to meet you AI Ryan. It’s almost like team same desk again.” She said with a smile. AI Ryan smiled back.

“Are you still looking for ways Michael’s death could have been prevented?” Miles asked.

“DUDE!” Kerry yelled in disgust. Lindsay’s smile faded.

“What? It’s true, she can’t live in the past. Your husband is dead and you have to move on if you want to survive.”

“What the hell man?!” Lindsay yelled. “Do you actually think that I think that AI Ryan could have saved Michael?! No! I didn’t! I wasn’t even going to ask him about that! Besides Burnie just found him!”

“Please Jones. I’ve known you long enough to know when the gears are turning.”

“Miles, you’re being an asshole.” Caleb said. Lindsay raised both of her middle fingers.

“FUCK OFF LUNA!!” she screamed as she ran out the door, tears beginning to fall.

“What the hell was that?!” Kerry screeched.

“She’ll get over it.” Miles said. Kerry immediately grabbed his ear.

“No. we are going down stairs and you are saying you’re sorry right the fuck now!” Kerry said as he stood up, pulling Miles with him.

“Owowowowow!” Miles whimpered

“You have been a real jackass lately and I will not stand for it.” Kerry growled

“Why? You afraid that my jackass traits have been passed down to our child?”

“God. FUCKING. Dammit Miles.” Kerry yelled as he dragged Miles out the door.

“Man, hormones must really be getting to Kerry right now.” Caleb remarked

“I HEARD THAT!” Kerry yelled from down the hall.

“Wait what’s wrong with Kerry?” AI Ryan asked

“He’s pregnant. He denies it so hard but we all know the truth.” Gus answered.

“That’s really weird and scientifically impossible.” AI Ryan stated matter-of-factly.

“SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” Gus said as he put his finger up to the screen.

“Don’t fucking touch me, peasant. I hate finger prints.”

“Welp. I’m gonna go do something else. Nice to have you back Ryan.” Chris said as he walked out of the room. Burnie facepalmed.

“Wait! But I’m not…” the AI groaned. “Chris is the idiot hobbit guy right?”

“Yep.” Burnie replied, his hand was still on his face.

“That makes sense.” Finally Ray walked over to Burnie and Gus.

“Hey can Jack and I borrow him for a little while?” Ray asked.

“Wait what are we doing?” Jack asked.

“Sure, I don’t need him at the moment. But give him back when you are done.” Burnie replied.

“Hey why don’t I have a say in the matter?” AI Ryan asked.

“Because you don’t have opposable thumbs dude.” Burnie replied again.

“I may not have opposable thumbs but I can still do this.” AI Ryan said as he flashed an image of a middle finger up on the screen. “Ha fuck you Burns!”

“I can’t believe I gave up my nice razer for you.” Burnie mumbled 

“Anyway, come on.” Ray said as he picked up the laptop. 

“I still don’t know where we are taking him.” Jack said as Ray began to walk out the door.

“We’re gonna give him a tour. Show him the Achievement Hunter office.”

“I thought you never wanted to go back in there after we put up the memorial.”

“I know I said that. But I can’t just leave Ryan here in the dust.”

“What happened in the office?” AI Ryan asked, confused.

“Shit happened.” Both Jack and Ray replied at the same time as they walked up the stairs.

“Oh. Well I least I can see where I would have worked had shit not hit the fan.”

“Yeah and at least we have you now. Welcome home buddy.” Ray said as he opened the door to the Achievement Hunter office once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And that is how we met AI Ryan. We didn’t know it then but he would become one of our greatest allies in saving ourselves. Of course having him around came with a price. Some of us paid harder than others. There were some untold secrets surrounding the AI. And we would never be ready for what we learned._


	12. Chapter 3 Part 2: Sad Secrets and Hidden Truths

_So to be honest with you, I totally wasn’t expecting AI Ryan to be such a dork, but he is a computer and an extension of Ryan, so honestly I should have seen that coming. But nobody saw him coming in the first place so how the hell would we know what to expect. Well actually that’s not really true. AI Ryan’s appearance wasn’t actually a mystery at all. Nobody could actually tell us the truth. And that’s why we fell apart yet again._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After about two more weeks of communal living things were disrupted yet again. Right after AI Ryan had been revealed to the rest of the RT staff, everybody had been dying to use him. Burnie worked night after night with the AI doing god knows what. The remaining Achievement Hunters always tried to show him as many video games as possible in an attempt to catch him up to speed. Monty, Kerry, and Miles wanted to show him everything they had worked on with Ryan in it, in case they ever found the recording studio in the office and needed him to do a read. Gus was Gus and didn’t actually give much of a shit. And Chris, well, he was basically in the same boat as Gus.

The next time MonoJoe wasn’t at a mealtime at all. It was in the afternoon. Everybody was doing their own thing. Ray was with Kerry in one of the spare video games playing the Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare single player campaign.

“So what the deal with you and Japanese imports anyway?” Ray asked.

“Dude, I write for an anime. I’m pretty much paid to be a weeb.” Kerry replied.

“Do you think we’ve been getting paid while we’ve been here?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, Tina had a cat, gotta pay to take care if it somehow.”

“It’s probably long gone. How long have we been in here anyways?”

Ray paused his game and turned around to look at Kerry. “I dunno like a month and a half, maybe two months. I guess the time doesn’t matter much.”

“Ok but if it’s really been that long, isn’t it weird that nobody has come looking for us?”

“This place is pretty secluded. And even with that, everyone who would care is dead already, nobody would bother to look.”

“Yeah but there are too many coincidences for someone to not look into this. Our whole situation is started to sound like a good vita game turned into rushed anime.”

“Ok, now that’s just fucking stupid Kerry”

“Well I think-“ Suddenly an annoying voice interrupted their conversation.

“RT EMPLOYEES REPORT TO THE KITCHEN ASAP!” MonoJoe’s voice echoed.

“Man this is bullshit. He’s just going to try and get one of us to kill someone again, and knowing us at this point he’ll do exactly what he wants! I don’t wanna have to deal with this.” Ray said angrily.

“DO IT OR I’LL KILL YOU WHERE YOU SIT YOU PATHETIC SHITSTAIN!” MonoJoe’s voice echoed again.

Ray growled as he got up and exited the room and Kerry sighed as he followed behind. Two of them waked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Everyone else was waiting for them.

“Figures we’d be last.” Ray mumbled

Miles waved to Kerry. “Kerrbear over here!” Kerry rolled his eyes as he went to take his place next too Miles.

“Ray, we saved you a spot!” Caleb yelled from the unofficial Achievement Hunter corner. Ray walked over and sat down. AI Ryan was also placed at their table.

“What does the cat want?” AI Ryan asked.

“He’s going try coax us into killing each other.” Caleb said bluntly.

“And does that normally work?”

“Unfortunately yes.” Jack replied with a sigh.

“Oh…” AI Ryan said.

“Here’s how this will go down. MonoJoe will give us a shitty motive, someone will have a breakdown or pick a fight about it, normally Geoff but alas he can’t this time, and someone kills someone.” Caleb said.

“Does Ryan’s death even count as a murder?” Lindsay asked

“I thinks that’s a grey area.” Caleb replied

“We already established the Ryan’s death was an accident! Gavin didn’t mean to knock him in the fucking pit! We made that clear weeks ago!” Ray said angrily.

“Wow. That’s what happened to my creator? I guess it doesn’t surprise me that Gavin was involved with his death. From how he was described to me, he sounded like a dumbass.” AI Ryan said.

“Oh he was.” Jack finished

“QUIET DOWN YOU COCKBITES AND LISTEN THE FUCK UP!” MonoJoe screeched from his usual spot. Everyone was silent. “Alright I’m gonna try something a little different this time. Not to say that last time wasn’t orgasmic-“

“GROSS! YOU GET OFF ON THIS?!” Gus yelled in disgust.

“Uh. Yeah. Anyway, I wanted to try something new in honor of our new player.” MonoJoe grinned as he stared at AI Ryan.

“Wait, you can’t kill a computer. It’s an inanimate object!” Chris said.

“BOO!” Jack yelled in disgust. 

“Shut the fuck up!” MonoJoe yelled. “Anyway this is a truth bomb like the last one, but a new revelation.” Everyone was silent as they listened. “There is a liar amongst you. Someone who knows the whole truth about your situations. They know everything. Care to elaborate Burnie?” MonoJoe turned to Burnie.

“What are you talking about?” Burnie asked confused.

“You know exactly what I’m saying Burns.”

“No I don’t!”

“Oh really? How did you find AI Ryan?”

“He was in my office when I finally got there!”

“Ok but did you really just happen to find him on your computer ready to go? Or did you know he was going to be there waiting for you?”

“I didn’t!”

“Really, because I remember Ryan telling you that his AI would be waiting for you in case of his demise. And you didn’t get lost on the first day did you?”

“I-“

“Because you knew the whole layout of this place. You bought it after all. You knew your office was on the third floor. And after you figured out I’d open a floor after each murder, you waited for that second one to just happen so you could retrieve your precious AI.”

“That’s… NO!”

“But why do you even need the AI, It’s not like you don’t already know what going on outside. So why don’t you just tell them the truth?”

“I…I… SHUT UP! YOU’RE WRONG!”

“Just admit you’re hiding the truth from everyone. The AI is too. Right?”

AI Ryan suddenly gulped. “I… uhh… um…” AI Ryan began to stutter. Then he began flashing the familiar AH technical difficulties screen and began play the tune that went along with it. Jack leaned over to the laptop and pressed mute.

“Thanks. Polka kinda ruins the tone I’m trying to set. Anyway since your AI won’t even defend you, why won’t you just admit everything?”

“TO PROTECT THEM FROM YOU!” Burnie yelled as he pointed at the cat. Everyone gasped at the confession. Burnie began to tremble at the realization of what he had just admitted. “I…I… I…”

“BURNIE!” Lindsay screeched as she got up and ran over to the trembling man and grabbed his collar. “YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU LET MICHAEL KILL GEOFF AND BE EXECUTED JUST SO YOU COULD HAVE YOUR FUCKING OFFICE BACK?!”

“No! I didn’t even know Michael would try to kill Geoff! How was I supposed to prevent that?”

“YOU KNEW THOUGH!”

“I DIDN’T KNOW THAT I SWEAR!”

“YOU’RE A FUCKING LIAR BURNIE! I HOPE YOU DIE NEXT!” Lindsay screamed as she shoved Burnie to the ground. She then ran out of the kitchen on the verge of tears.

“Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu. Now that’s what I’m talking about! Anyway you’re all dismissed. Except you Burns. We have some further things to discuss.” Burnie stayed on the floor as the rest of the remaining company shuffled out of the kitchen, glaring at the man as they walked away.

The remaining Achievement Hunters, including AI Ryan, walked back up to their office. Jack placed the Laptop on the nearest desk as Ray and Caleb gathered around. Jack unmuted the Laptop and took his seat.

“God it sucks to be put on mute. Please don’t do that again.” The AI whined

“Talk.” Ray demanded. “Tell us the truth, and none of that technical difficulties bullshit either.”

“I… I can’t.” AI Ryan sighed.

“Yes you can. We won’t be mad. We promise.” Jack said, in an attempt to reassure the AI.

“No. you don’t understand. I literally can’t.”

“What? Why not?” Caleb asked

“Because. That information is restricted. I can’t actually access it on my own. I need the proper passwords to get to it. Only Burnie and my creator knew them.”

“Goddammit.” Jack sighed.

“You know what? This is fine.” Ray said.

“No it’s not.” AI Ryan said.

“Yes, Ryan, it is. You know why? Because I trust him. If the cat threatened him into keeping his mouth then tried to bait him to admit everything then I can see why he was acting they way. He’s always had that weird paternal instinct thing going for him and it would totally be driving him mad in a situation like this. He really would want the best for us and we’ve all known him long enough to know that.” Ray ranted.

“He thinks I’m a jackass.” Caleb said.

“You are a jackass!”

“True.”

“So if maybe we all dislodge our heads out of our asses then nothing bad will happen for fucking once!” Ray said angrily. “I am so sick and tired of all of this!”

“I’m sorry Ray, this is all just so terrible.” Jack said sadly.

“Yeah. No shit!” suddenly there was a knock at the door. Caleb got up and answered it. Everyone turned to see who was at the door. A red faced Burnie was standing there. It looked like his face was covered in dried tears.

“Can I borrow AI Ryan? Please.” Burnie asked.

Ray sighed as he got up and picked up the laptop. He walked over and handed it to Burnie. “Here.”

Burnie sniffled a little bit. “Thanks”

“No problem.” Ray replied as Burnie turned to go up the stairs. “Oh and Burnie?” Burnie paused but said nothing. “We all get why you’re handling this the way you are. We don’t hate you for it.”

“Thanks.” Burnie said as he walked back up the stairs. Ray went back over to his seat and sat down while Jack closed the door.

The rest of the day was uneventful. Most people had kept to themselves. Later that night Ray walked down the basement hall and saw Burnie handing AI Ryan off to Gus and walking away. He didn’t want to bother Gus or AI Ryan so he ignores it and goes back to his own room. The following morning was pretty boring as well.

Things didn’t get interesting again until the afternoon. Miles, Jack, Gus, Ray, Lindsay, Chris, and AI Ryan were all sitting in the kitchen.

“So how about that anger from yesterday Lindsay?” Miles asked.

“What about it?” Lindsay replied.

“Did you really mean that you wanted Burnie dead?”

“OF COURSE NOT!” Lindsay yelled.

“I’m pretty sure none of us really want Burnie dead Miles.” Chris said. “It’s just a bummer we can’t figure out what the truth is.”

“It’s pretty complicated though. It’s not like we’re hiding it from you because we want to.” AI Ryan replied.

“We get it. But I really wish Burnie would tell us the passwords. That’s like a loophole right?” Jack asked

“Maybe? But be quiet, the cat can hear you.” Gus said.

“Why should we even care so much? Who gives a shit? We’re safe in here.” Miles said.

“Uh, with five people dead I’d say clearly we aren’t fucking safe. At least not from each other.” Ray said.

“Why should we care what you think though?” Miles asked.

“Don’t be fucking rude Miles.” Monty said from the doorway. “Besides, he’s the one who’s been piecing together all the murders thus far.” He said as he joined the others.

“He’d be nothing without using you as a crutch!”

“Hey. What works, works.”

“Dude you’ve been pretty quiet these past few days.” Ray remarked.

“I forgot to contribute to the conversations.” Monty replied with a shrug.

“You forgot to talk?”

“Sure let’s go with that.”

“Mister Oum here is a man of few words. Mister Narvaez should be a man of fewer words!” Miles said rudely.

“Dude shut the fuck up!” Jack said angrily.

“I’m the only one allowed to be this much of a dick.” Gus added.

“What are you going the do about it?” Miles asked

Jack and Gus both grabbed one of his arms. “We’re going to the conference room on the third floor. We’re going to have a private talk about your attitude you little shit.” Gus said as he and Jack dragged Miles away. A few minutes later Kerry walked in.

“Hey guy, why were Jack and Gus dragging Miles up the stairs?” Kerry asked

“Because he’s a jackass and needs to be talked to about his attitude” Chris replied.

“He has been an extreme asshole lately. It’s total bullshit.” Kerry said as he crossed his arms. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

“I don’t know but he’s cutting deep.” Lindsay said sadly.

“It doesn’t matter why as long as he stops.” Ray said. “Everything is bad enough as it is.”

“I agree.” Monty added suddenly an unfortunate familiar announcement sounded. 

“Ah-hem, a body has been discovered. After a period of time, an office trial will be held.” MonoJoe’s voice rang out.

“Oh shit!” Chris said as he stood up.

“It must’ve been in the conference room!” Exclaimed Jack.

“They better not have killed Miles!” Kerry said as he ran out the door.

“Jesus Christ not again. AI Ryan you stay here and be safe!” Ray said as he followed Kerry out the door.

“Yeah it’s not like I want to see a dead body.” AI Ryan said in all seriousness as the rest of the followed Ray as well.

Once they reached the conference room they saw the horrific sight that had been discovered. They saw a line of blood that led to the victim’s finger. The victim being a one Caleb Denecour. He was lying on his side with a kitchen knife sticking out of his middle.

“Shit.” Gus said quietly, though he had been standing there for a few minutes staring at the sight.

“I don’t understand. He didn’t even piss anyone off.” Kerry said. Ray grimaced and looked away.

“This is exactly why we should have made not killing each other an official rule.” Ray said as he the rest of the employees paused before the next investigation began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And that was the end of everyone’s favorite screen looker. It didn’t make sense though. We thought Caleb didn’t do anything. But what we would find in this investigation would confuse and terrify us even more._


	13. Chapter 3 Part 3: Investigation STA- wait... SHIT

_And thus it was time to start trying to figure out what happened to Caleb. You’re probably sensing a pattern here. Yeah. But this time was different._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They all looked at Caleb’s lifeless body when MonoJoe appeared with glee and said, “Well looks like we have another case. Everyone take a MonoJoe file!” He looked around with one more MonoJoe file in his hand. “Hey, you’re missing someone. Half of you go out and look for Burnie. We need him found. The trial can’t start without him.”

Gus, Miles, Kerry, and Lindsay went out to look for Burnie while Ray, Monty, Chris, and Jack stayed to investigate.

Monty went to work investigating the body, while Ray read the MonoJoe file.

“Victim: Caleb Denecour. Found: dead in the conference room. The victim was stabbed multiple times bled to death. The death occurred at fuck you time.”

“Well I see MonoJoe is still salty.” Ray muttered to himself. He then went to over to check with Monty.

“This was a messy crime, just look at all of the blood.” Monty said to Ray. “I find it hard to believe that the killer had to have been covered in blood after the murder. And this knife is definitely one of the kitchen knives. I noticed two kitchen knives went missing earlier, I guess this is where one of them went.”

“So maybe whoever has the other knife did it?”

“Possibly. I also found a message written in pen on his hand. Most of it is covered by blood, so all I can make out is an ‘M’, an ‘s’ and ‘Burnie’ then there’s blood covering the rest.”

Ray then noticed a note on the ground near him. He picked it up and it read, “We are all having a meeting in the conference room tomorrow morning. Be there at 8. I’m going to discuss what MonoJoe told me. –Burnie”

“That’s weird,” Ray said. “Hey Monty, did you ever get a not like this?”

“No, and it’s probably a safe guess that no one except Caleb got one.”

Suddenly Chris screamed and they looked over and saw a door in the closet. Ray, Monty, and Jack went over and saw Chris on the ground through the door.

“Is this a secret door? Great going Chris!” Jack said. “How’d you know it was there?”

“I actually stubbed my toe and fell into it.” Chris replied as he got himself back up.

“And what a surprise, it leads to Joel’s office.”

Monty same over and said, “This is probably how the killer escaped without anyone seeing.”

“Well we don’t know when the murder took place because MonoJoe is an asshole, so why would they leave this way?”

“I think it might be as a safety measure. They wanted to make sure no one saw them. The exit is right across from Gus’s office and right by the stairs. If they left from the conference room it would be obvious that they were the killer, especially if they were covered in blood.

“Well, some blood on the floor here so I think he’s right.” Chris added.

“But isn’t there another office on that side? There would still be a risk of being found?” Ray asked.

Jack opened the door of Joel’s office and saw that the office on the other side was Burnie’s.

“Wait, could the killer have been Burnie?” Chris asked

“It kind of makes sense.” Jack replied. “He could have killed Caleb, and gone through the secret door. He could’ve set up a change of clothes then when he got to his office he could’ve changed his clothes with almost no risk of someone stumbling onto his murder.”

“It’s a little early to establish that.” Monty said. “But to be safe maybe we could check out his office.”

They went over and opened the door to Burnie’s office, but what they found wasn’t more evidence.

“Ah-hem, a body has been discovered. After a period of time, an office trial will be held.”

Burnie’s body was hanging in a noose from the ceiling. His shirt was covered in blood. Jack went out and got everyone to come to Burnie’s office.

As they looked at the scene MonoJoe appeared once again. “Ahahahahahahahaha, looks like the extra MonoJoe file isn’t necessary. If you look at your MonoJoe files, they will be updated to show Burnie. Heh, two bodies means twice the fun, so keep investigating.” And he vanished.

“So it looks like he killed himself.” Lindsay said, still looking in awe at the body.

“It must be Caleb’s blood on his shirt.” Chris said, also in awe.

“So did he kill Caleb and realize what he’d done and killed himself?” Jack asked.

“It sure looks like that.” Kerry Replied.

“Well whatever it is, I need to take down the body to investigate it.” Monty interjected as he pulled up the chair that was knocked over and began untying the noose.

Everyone got out of Monty’s way to let him look at the body. Most of them had stopped investigating but Ray still looked at the MonoJoe file.

“Victim: Burnie Burns. Found: dead in his office. The victim was strangled by rope, crushing his windpipe and causing him to suffocate to death.”

Everyone but Ray, Gus, and Monty had left the room. Ray and Gus went to see if Monty had found anything.

“I don’t think he killed himself.” Monty said.

“How do you know?” Gus asked.

“The ligature marks are not those of someone who hung themselves. The ligature marks are bigger than the rope used. If he hung himself then the bruised area would not be this large. It looks like this isn’t the first time the rope was around his neck.”

“Why do you know so much about hanging?” Ray asked.

“We’re done with this topic.”

“So what exactly did happen?”

“Well it looks like Burnie killed Caleb, but then someone killed Burnie.”

“No, I don’t want to believe Burnie killed anyone.” Gus said.

“Well it’s what all the evidence points to right now. Hey Gus, where did you guys look when you were searching for Burnie?”

“We went to his room, but he wasn’t there. MonoJoe let us in though and we looked around. Miles actually found a knife on his desk in there.”

“Was it a kitchen knife?”

“Yeah, actually, it did look like a kitchen knife.”

“Then for now, the evidence leads to Burnie.”

Gus then left the room, with emotions not thought possible. Ray followed after him.

“Are you alright Gus?” Ray asked.

“Burnie’s dead. Out of everyone here Burnie was the one I thought would die least of all. He was our leader, he was one of the smartest guys here, but now he’s gone. And now, hearing that he might’ve killed someone, well that just makes everything worse.”

“Look, we have to worry about finding who did this. We can do this, do it for Burnie. Even if he does turn out to be a scumbag murderer, we’re gunna do this.

Before Gus could respond, a familiar bell rang.

*DING, DONG, BING, BONG*

“It is now time for the office trial. Please report to my fabulous CEO office of awesomeness and don’t bitch about not having enough time.”

They all gathered and went down to the courtroom. Before they started Monty went up to MonoJoe and asked “Why did you only give us about 5 minutes after we discovered Burnie’s body to start the trial?”

“This is the start of the trial for Caleb, it hardly seems fair to take longer to start his trial, so we’ll just start it now, and we can squeeze Burnie’s trial in, just to make it fair.”

“That makes no sense and hardly seems fair at all.”

“Shut up and take your spot.”

Then we began one of the most confusing class trials of all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_We never expected Burnie to die as well. Even considering the circumstances. And then it was time to figure out what happened to Caleb and Burnie. It turns out we were closer to insanity than we originally thought._


	14. Chapter 3 Part 4: Who Team-killed Church (and killed Caleb)

Trial # 3

Evidence

MonoJoe File #3 Caleb-Caleb was stabbed to death and found in the conference room.

MonoJoe File #3 Burnie-Burnie suffocated to death and was found in his office.

Kitchen Knife-Left stabbed in Caleb, most likely the murder weapon.

Message on Caleb’s hand-Can only make out the letters “M” “s” and the name “Burnie”

Caleb’s note-Tells him to meet in the conference room at 8, says Burnie.

Secret Passage-In the conference room closet, leads to Joel’s office. Chris screamed like a bitch when he discovered it by accident.

Blood on the floor-There was a bit of blood on the floor in the conference room.

Bloodstained shirt-Burnie’s shirt was covered in blood.

Ligature marks-The bruises from the rope appear to be larger than they should from just Burnie hanging himself.

Knife in Burnie’s room-Miles found a knife in Burnie’s room when they were looking for Burnie.

Monojoe: Let’s begin with a basic explanation of the office trial. So, your votes will determine the results. If you can figure out “whodunnit” then only they will receive punishment. But if you pick the wrong one… Then I’ll punish everyone besides the team killing fucktard, and the one that deceived everyone else will retire! So how about we start with…

Chris: We already know what happened!

MonoJoe: Wha…

Lindsay: Yeah, after what we saw, it’s pretty obvious. Burnie killed Caleb and couldn’t handle the guilt so he killed himself.

Jack: It does look a lot like that’s the case.

Kerry: So do we even need to debate?

MonoJoe: Well if you all want to stop, we can.

Monty: They don’t speak for everyone, there are still some points I want to resolve before we consider voting.

Miles: I agree, we should look at things first before pointing fingers.

>Everyone looked at Miles with a surprised expression

Gus: Um, Miles, you’re the one who spent the last trial pointing fingers at Jack immediately, and now you’re saying we should be logical? Not that I disagree, but what’s with the change.

Miles: Well I think I realized that I needed to step up after we found Burnie dead. I took over for him as the main writer of Red vs. Blue, and now I need to take over for him in these trials. He was always calm and collected, now I have to follow in his footsteps and be the new Burnie.

Gus: Okay, well if it means you won’t start shouting that Chris did it or some shit then I’m fine with that.

Chris: I didn’t do it!

Gus: I was saying that as an example dumbass.

Monty: So let’s try piecing together from what we know.

Lindsay: Well Caleb was dead in the conference room.

Kerry: But did he die in there? Do we even know that?

Monty: There’s too much blood for the body too have been moved.

Kerry: But why would Caleb have even gone to the conference room in the first place? I mean, he doesn’t have an office so there’s no reason for him to be on the 3rd floor, let alone the conference room.

_Ding dong, you are wrong!_

Ray: No, he had plenty of reason to be there. We found this note on the floor telling him to meet in the conference room at 8.

Miles: When are people going to stop going places notes tell them to go? Seriously.

Monty: Well this note was signed Burnie, and it made it sound like Caleb wasn’t the only person who got the note, so he probably thought he wasn’t going to be alone. 

Ray: Plus, it was a note from Burnie, I wouldn’t doubt Burnie, he’s like my dad. And Gus is like my mom.

Gus: Shut up, Ray. You’re grounded.

Chris: So when he got there, he got stabbed with that kitchen knife we found sticking out him.

Lindsay: Yeah, the kitchen knife that we found another of in Burnie’s room.

Miles: We’re starting to blame Burnie, but I still think we need a little more evidence before we can decide it’s him. Does anyone have anything?

_I got this!_

Ray: I don’t like blaming Burnie, but we also found some writing on Caleb’s hand. Most of it was covered in blood, but there was one thing that could definitely be made out. It said Burnie.

Lindsay: So Burnie killed him?

Gus: Wait, how did Caleb write something down if he was stabbed right when he got there? If he was stabbed multiple times then I’m sure he wouldn’t have had enough strength to write down a message, especially on his hand with a pen.

Kerry: What if he wasn’t stabbed right when he got there?

Jack: But if Burnie was waiting for him there, he would’ve had to of attacked him right when he got there.

Lindsay: What if Burnie didn’t notice him? Maybe he hid in the closet or something?

Chris: So did he write it while he was in the closet?

Gus: If he was in there before and Burnie didn’t notice him, then why would he have suddenly noticed him? I doubt he Caleb was in there. It’s not like there was any way he could have made noise to alert the killer.

_Shut up, mom!_

Ray: Actually there is a way. Something none of us knew about in that closet. There’s a secret door in that closet that leads to Joel’s office. When Chris found it he fell through and screamed like a bitch, and I bet the same thing could’ve happened to Caleb.

Monty: Caleb probably hid in the closet and wrote his message on his hand in there, and somehow managed to leans against the wall and fell through.

Lindsay: Why am I not surprised Joel had a secret passageway?

Jack: So he fell through and even if he didn’t scream, Burnie might’ve heard a thump or something to alert him.

Gus: Yeah, but is there any proof of this?

_Actually, yeah!_

Ray: There is. There’s some blood on the carpet on the other side of the passageway. Considering Caleb is the one who was stabbed, it’s probably his blood.

Monty: The killer must’ve gone over and stabbed him when they found him to make sure he wouldn’t run, then brought him back to the conference room and killed him there. I really don’t think they could’ve moved the body after he was dead because of all the blood.

Gus: Look, I just see one problem. Burnie couldn’t kill anyone here! He cared about all of us, I don’t believe he would kill any of us!

Monty: I know you’re upset and find it hard to believe, but trust me, we just need to keep looking into this. Now, since we have Caleb’s death mostly organized, let’s look at Burnie’s death.

Lindsay: Well he obviously killed himself. 

Chris: Yeah, even I can figure that out.

Kerry: It’s obvious that he hung himself in his office!

_Oh no he didn’t!_

Ray: I find it a little hard to believe he hung himself. As Monty found earlier, the legal Latin marks are all wrong.

Monty: Ligature marks!

Ray: Whatever. There’s more to the marks than just what would be there if he hung himself.

Monty: Yes, it looks like Burnie was strangled, then he body was put in the noose. Whoever killed him was trying to make it look like a suicide.

Jack: So who the hell would kill Burnie?

Chris: Well there is someone here who said they wanted him dead. 

Kerry: Lindsay, did you kill Burnie?

Lindsay: What the fuck? Why am I all of sudden under suspicion? Yeah, I’m mad at Burnie, but I just said that in the heat of the moment. I didn’t mean it.

Miles: I know I said I don’t like blaming people, but I did see Lindsay heading upstairs this morning when I was headed to the kitchen this morning.

Lindsay: Miles, you fucking liar! Don’t lie about that! Maybe you’re the killer and you’re just trying to blame me! I didn’t go upstairs at all!

Miles: I swear on Kerry’s ass that I saw you going upstairs this morning.

Kerry: He’s not lying if he’s willing to do that.

Gus: If you weren’t going upstairs, then where were you going Lindsay?

Jack: Lindsay, don’t tell me…

Lindsay: I didn’t go upstairs! I didn’t! What reason would I even have to go up there?

Chris: Well I think we’re saying the reason was to kill Burnie.

Ray: Lindsay, I want to defend you, just please just tell us what you were doing if you weren’t upstairs.

Lindsay: I, I, I, I was just…

Monty: Lindsay, I believe you didn’t kill Burnie, but we can’t defend you if you don’t tell us what you did this morning.

Lindsay: Fine, I’ll tell you. I did go upstairs, but not to the third floor. I went to the Achievement Hunter office. Being in there reminds me of Michael. I went there and went to his desk, and cried. I miss him, and I don’t really want to share something personal like that, so are you happy.

Gus: That tells us why you went up there, but that doesn’t mean you’re off quite yet.

Kerry: Yeah, maybe you heard something upstairs, then went to check it out and saw Caleb dead because of Burnie, so to get your revenge you strangled him and hung him up to get away with it.

Lindsay: I didn’t leave the AH office for a couple hours. And if I saw Burnie kill someone, I doubt the first thing on my mind would be to kill him. It would probably be to go and tell everyone, not try to take on a murderer myself.

Monty: No, I doubt he was even strangled in his office. His office is in near perfect condition, no signs of struggle. If he was strangled there his desk would probably be messed up, or something pushed over. And the blood on his shirt probably would’ve got on something, but there’s no blood anywhere. In fact, I don’t think he was even killed in his office.

Chris: Was he killed somewhere else and dragged to his office?

Monty: No, in fact, I think he was killed before Caleb.

Jack: But I thought we established that he killed Caleb.

Monty: I never agreed to that. I just agreed that you set the crime scene correctly.

Gus: So you’re saying the person who killed Burnie, is also the person who killed Caleb?

Monty: Precisely. MonoJoe never gave us the time of the murders, but not as much out of spite, but more to confuse us all.

Miles: But wait, Burnie had Caleb’s blood on his shirt.

Monty: Yes, but not anywhere else. Which means either it didn’t splatter on the rest of his body, or he splattered Caleb’s blood on Burnie’s shirt.

Lindsay: So the killer strangled Burnie, killed Caleb, then put Caleb’s blood on Burnie’s clothes, and hung his body.

Monty: Caleb probably came early and came in while the killer was killing Burnie and that’s why he was able to hide. Then he wrote his message. He was probably saying that Burnie was already dead. 

Gus: Yeah, but you said that rest of the message was covered in blood so we have nothing to go on.

Ray: Wait, there were two more letters you could make out that weren’t covered in blood.

Monty: Yes, “M” and “s”

>Ray figured maybe those were letter in the killer’s name. And only one person in the room who fit the description.

_The killer is that asshole!_

Ray: M i l e s. That could be the message. Burnie was killed by Miles. He probably wrote that down in case he didn’t make it out.

Miles: So now Ray is going to go accusing people. That’s not what Burnie would have wanted. You have one piece of evidence that “could” point to me and you go off blaming them.

Ray: That’s exactly what you did last trial you hypocrite.

Miles: Don’t you remember, I learned from my errors, I’m more like Burnie now. Now how about you show some proof that I did it, oh wait, you don’t have any.

MonoJoe: Haha, you ran out of evidence. 

Ray: Shut up. Well if we don’t have any evidence then how are we supposed to find out who did it? That hardly seems fair that we would have to make a decision without enough evidence.

MonoJoe: Fine, if you want to be a whiny bitch I’ll give you one piece of evidence. I’ll show you Caleb’s death just so you guys can worry about who killed Burnie.

>A video came up of what appeared to be Burnie from behind stabbing Caleb.

Ray: But, wait, that can’t be.

Miles: See, the old Burnie killed Caleb, so how could Caleb blame me? I’m the new Burnie so I would never kill anyone!

Lindsay: I guess it was Burnie that killed Caleb.

Jack: We were so close but now we lost it.

Gus: It can’t be. There’s no way this can be real.

Kerry: No, that is not Burnie!

Miles: Wait, what do you mean Kerry? What are you trying to say?

Kerry: That’s not Burnie’s butt! That’s your butt Miles! I would recognize your butt anywhere!

Miles: Kerry, what the fuck are you talking about? The whole us being gay thing is just a joke, you don’t need to pretend like you know what my butt looks like. Obviously you are making a joke now too.

Kerry: I’m not pretending to know what your butt looks like. I never joke when it comes to butts. You killed Burnie then put on his clothes didn’t you?

Gus: Wait, I just thought of something. Monty pass me the note.

>Gus gets the note and looks at it.

Gus: Yeah, this isn’t Burnie’s handwriting. I can’t believe I didn’t think to look at it before but there’s no way Burnie wrote this.

Miles: Of course he wrote it. Are you trying to say I did? Because I didn’t.

Gus: You probably gave a Burnie a note to meet in the office didn’t you? You had him come there before Caleb!

Miles: You have no proof of that! Where is the proof?

Kerry: I have another question. You said you saw Lindsay when you were heading to breakfast. When exactly did you go to breakfast, because I don’t remember seeing you at breakfast yesterday?

Miles: That was at like…like 7 o’clock.

Monty: Odd, I was there at 7, and I don’t remember seeing you at all.

Miles: Oh, I actually…um started feeling sick after I saw Lindsay and went back to my room.

Ray: Miles, we caught you, just admit it.

Monty: Ray, how about you go over the case one last time?

Kerry: Ray, you can take a break, I’ll take the closing arguments this time.

**Closing Arguments**

Kerry:Here’s what happened!

Act 1: With the new motive came a reason for someone to kill Burnie. However, the killers plan reeks of more malice than the motive, and rather used to motive as an excuse to blame someone else. The killers plan started when they left Caleb and Burnie notes, Burnie’s telling him to meet him earlier, and Caleb’s telling him to meet at 8.

Act 2: Burnie arrived but was taken by surprise and strangled by the killer, and strangled o as to no get his clothes bloody. Caleb, arrived early and probably saw the scene. The killer was probably too preoccupied to notice Caleb’s entrance, and Caleb didn’t want to chance trying to run away and getting noticed, so he hid in the closet and wrote that the killer killed Burnie.

Act 3: To Caleb’s misfortune he accidentally opened the secret door in the closet and alerted the killer, who had just put on Burnie’s clothes. The killer went and stabbed him to put him in shock so he wouldn’t leave, pulled him into the conference room and stabbed him to death. 

Act 4: The killer then took Burnie’s body and went through the secret door to make sure nobody saw him, especially since they’d already seen someone go upstairs. They put Burnie’s cloths back on him and took Burnie’s body to his office and hung his body like he had hung himself.

Kerry: The only one who could’ve done this, has to be you Miles!

Miles: SHUT THE FUCK UP KERRY!

Gus: We all agree with him, you have no defense now!

Miles: SHUT THE FUCK UP GUS!

Monty: It would be nice if we could vote now MonoJoe, I think we’re all in agreement on the case.

Miles: SHUT THE FUCK UP MONTY!

MonoJoe: Everybody vote, and make sure you vote right.

Miles: Okay, fine, I did it. I killed the weaker Burnie, you got me.

**Trial end**

“DING DONG BING BONG Y’ALL GOT IT RIGHT AGAIN!” MonoJoe yelled, then he turned to face Miles. “Dude I was rooting for you. You were the only one so far that actually planned your murder. But even I didn’t know the power of the sweet yaois you and Kerry made”

“MILES WHAT THE HELL!?” Lindsay screamed.

“But wait there’s one thing I feel like needs to be explained. Miles, what did you mean by ‘the weaker Burnie?” Monty asked.

Miles began to laugh crazily. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Clearly not if we’re asking.” Kerry said annoyed.

“Ever since Burnie told me I would be replacing him as lead writer on Red Vs Blue, I started to be confused with that man. People would mistake me for him. After a while I started to believe them. I was Burnie Burns. The old one was gross and needed to be disposed of. The fact that he was a traitor to us all just gave me the proper outlet to finally bring him down. He was no use to us, just an old outdated concept. I could be so much better!” Miles said with a creepy grin.

“But that doesn’t explain why you killed Caleb too. He did nothing wrong!” Chris exclaimed.

“Oh. Caleb did plenty wrong. Not only was he a filthy screen looker, but many years ago, before he worked at the company, he managed to piss Burnie off by asking why Rooster Teeth wasn’t doing anything between seasons of RvB, even though they were working of GrifBall. I thought it would make the most sense to have it look like murder/suicide with him as the victim. And even if you were able to see through that like you did, it helped that Lindsay wanted Burnie to die and walked up the stairs, I would have gotten away with all of it if I had known Caleb was further in the closet than I am and if I didn’t have such a fly booty.” Miles said with a laugh.

“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?! YOU ASSHOLE!” Gus screamed.

“Yeah I can’t believe you killed your own dad. And Caleb” Ray added.

“It doesn’t help that he plowed my mom!” Miles yelled. “I could be the leader you all deserved if you had just voted wrong!”

“I think you’re forgetting that if we got it wrong, then the rest of us would die and you’d walk out of here.” Jack said.

“Oh. Shit. Well that’s not what I was trying to do.” Miles said.

“God you’re an idiot. You’re even worse than the hobbit and your baby momma combined!” MonoJoe said.

“Hey! I saved the day this time! AND I’M NOT FUCKING PREGNANT!” Kerry yelled.

“Oh well this stupidity has gone on long enough. Any last words Nipples the Enchilada?”

“Just a dying message.” Miles turned to Kerry. “When Miles Jr. is born, tell them daddy loved them.”

“Fuck off.” Kerry said as he rolled his eyes.

“And that wraps that up. I have a special songfic edition execution for you today. I call it, ‘Your Blood That’s Red Like Roses” MonoJoe took out his familiar mallet and red button. “Game Over: Miles Luna.” MonoJoe said as he slammed the mallet down onto the button.

Suddenly Miles was launched into a dark set. Then I lit up to reveal a familiar dance club. Music began to play. _“Come at me, and you’ll see, I’m more than meets the eye…”_ Suddenly Miles began to be shot at by various rockets from around the club. Miles screamed as he ran away from the incoming rockets. One managed to explode right at the writer’s feet and launched him into another set. This time, the set was one of a moving train. A different song was playing in this set. _“When it started, All we wanted was a chance to live our lives, Now in darkness, Taking everything we want and we will rise. We’ll rise. We’ll rise”_ Suddenly robots came and began shooting at the writer. He ran around the car, attempting to dodge the bullets. He ran to the door of the train car and exited. Instead he found himself in another dark room, illuminated only by the light from the broken moon outside the giant window. A familiar aria was playing in the background. A giant robot came up from the floor and started swinging it’s sword at Miles screamed as he ran away yet again with the lyrics of the son beginning again. _“Mirror, Mirror, what’s behind you? Save me from the things I see. I can keep from the world, Why won’t you let me hide from me?”_ the robot knight smacked Miles out of the room and into darkness and silence. Then the lights came up once more. Miles was standing cold, bleeding, and alone, dressed in Ruby Rose’s outfit, on a snowy cliff. Then a familiar final chorus came to ring in the end. _“Red like Roses, Fills me head with dreams and finds me, Always closer, to the emptiness and sadness, That has come to take the place of-“_ a gust of wind blows rose petals as a blurt red Crescent Rose finally slices the writer in half. _“you”_. The wind continued to blow as the two halves of the former writer drain out into the snow, turning it from white to red. 

“This was the only execution title that was literal. Reblog if u cri evrytiem” MonoJoe said.

Nobody else said a word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And holy fucking shit that was a thing. There were less than ten of us left. And now we were left leaderless. There were still questions left unanswered and we though now with Burnie dead that there was no hope for the rest of us. But it turns out the old asshole still left us some clues about how to turn everything around. And thus began the uphill battle._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I'm halfway done reposting this, I'm going to shamelessly say, that if you have any world building questions or if you want to help beta my fics, then you should totally contact me on my tumblr ( **: WARNING:** spoilers for Dangan Roosters are on that blog) Now if you excuse me, I have to go beat up Cicco.


	15. Chapter 4 Part 1: Confronting and Comforting

_So everything was weird after Miles’s execution. It’s hard to believe that anyone had a true crazy murder complex. I mean, I know Gavin killed Ryan and Michael killed Geoff, but Gavin killed Ryan on accident and Michael killed Geoff in the heat of the moment. Miles was just full-fledged murder. The fact that there was evil within us scared us all. But I guess with that grew the good. I’ve learned that it’s about finding that balance and learning. And this is when I finally started to see what my purpose in this tragedy was._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days after Miles’s trial everybody was active again. Death had unfortunately started to become a routine thing for the RT employees so it wasn’t so hard to bounce back. The reward for solving the latest case was the unlocking of the fourth floor, the animation department. Monty had the biggest smile on his face when he learned that he could go back into his office. Everyone else was much more monotone.

Gus had been hogging AI Ryan much more since Burnie’s death. But he still sometimes let Jack and Ray borrow him. About a week or so after the trial. Gus was working with the AI in the kitchen while Ray was sitting on the other side of the room.

“Hey gus?” AI Ryan asked.

“What?”

“Can I go talk to Ray for a minute? It’s kind of important?”

“Does the fate of the world depend on it?” Gus replied annoyed

“No but the fate of my further cooperation does.” The AI replied with a huff.

“Fine. But only for a few minutes.” Gus said as he picked up the laptop and started walking towards Ray. He dropped the laptop in front Ray. Ray looked up to see Gus. “Jackass wants to flirt with you for a few minutes.” He said as he walked away.

“Thank god. I need a break.” AI Ryan said with a sigh of relief.

“So what’s up Ryan?” Ray asked.

“There’s something that’s bothering me.”

“Ok what’s wrong?”

“It’s the name that you’ve been addressing me by” AI Ryan said.

“I’ve been calling you Ryan. I though that’s your name.”

“My name is AI Ryan. Not shortened to Ryan.”

“But it’s easier to just call you that. Its still a part of your name.”

“But I’m not Ryan!”

“I thought you were computer Ryan. Like a copy of his brain on a computer.”

“Yes that’s what I was based on buy its not exact.”

“I don’t get what you mean.” Ray said confused.

“I don’t want to be called Ryan because I’m not Ryan. I was made to be like Ryan but I’m not that same person as him. I have my own memories and experiences that he didn’t”

“I guess that’s true. But you said you were meant to be a back-up Ryan. So are you not a back-up Ryan.”

“I don’t want to be! I have the Ryan you knew’s personality but I’m not a true back-up. Everyone had been treating me like either just a shitty computer or like I’m Ryan Haywood resurrected. I’m neither of those things. I have simulated feelings. I don’t want to exist in the shadow of a dead man. I want to be treated like a separate entity because I AM a separate entity. I know I said replacement, but nobody, not even I, could never replace the Ryan you all knew. I’m just a successor.”

“I didn’t know…” Ray said in shock. How could he have been so blind? 

“Of course you didn’t know that’s why I’m telling you. Look I guess I would be nice to be treated like a human, even if I’m not one.” AI Ryan said sadly.

“We can do that you know. Treat you the way you want to be treated. Even if we haven’t known you for that long, you’re still one of us. We suck mad dick but we still care. Except maybe Gus. What have you two even been doing?”

“I’m shoving an entire Gus up my ass” AI Ryan replied with a smirk.

“Lucky!” Ray said.

“Oh and another thing. Have you realized what your role here is?”

“I’m the ’Ultimate Gamerscore’ if I remember correctly.”

“No not that. I mean like how you’ve effected the others?”

“No not really.” Ray said as Gus walked back into the room.

“Alright times up asshole.” Gus said as he picked AI Ryan back up.

“Wait before I go, I think you should talk to Lindsay and Kerry. They both are kinda mourning the loves of their lives right now and could probably use your support. I bet they would both appreciate it” AI Ryan finished as he was swept away by Gus. Ray waved as Gus and AI Ryan left the room.

Ray got up soon after Gus and AI Ryan left. He walked down the stairs and towards Lindsay’s room. He knocked on her door and she answered.

“Hey Ray what’s up?” Lindsay said in her normal tone.

“I know this is a little out of the blue. But It’s ok to be sad about stuff you know.” Ray said nervously.

“What you talking about? I’m fine.” Lindsay replied, confused.

“No I mean like, back in the trial, you had a hard time admitting you were still mourning Michael. You shouldn’t have to bottle up anything. There’s nothing wrong with having emotions about the people you care about.”

Lindsay looked down at the floor. “I have to be strong though. We don’t have time to be sad in here.”

“Lindsay, you are one of the strongest people I know. Everyone knows it. Showing emotions isn’t showing weakness. It’s a part of being a goddamn human. And we can’t let our humanity slip away. If it does than the cat wins. If you really prefer to be stoic that’s one thing, but if you’re shoving your feelings back down into your fucking throat than that shouldn’t have to happen.”

Lindsay paused for moment, the grabbed Ray and pulled him into a hug. Ray proceeded to awkwardly reciprocate the hug. “Thanks” Lindsay finally said. “When did you get all advice guru like though? What happened to being a tool?”

Ray released Lindsay and shrugged. “I had a real talk with a friend.”

“I can tell. Its weird though. I’m not used to the niceness.”

“I like to assume that there was a decent human being somewhere inside me. You just have to dig.” Ray said and Lindsay laughed. “Come on, let’s go get Kerry. We haven’t done memorials in Achievement City yet.”

“Are you sure Miles deserves one?” Lindsay asked

“We can type out a dick or something.” Ray replied as he walked towards Kerry’s room. Lindsay exited her room and shut the door behind her as she walked over to join Ray. Ray knocked on Kerry’s door and Kerry answered the door.

“What Ray?… and Lindsay?”

“are you wearing space pants because your booty is out of this world.” Ray said smoothly. Lindsay stifled a laugh.

“I’m aware I have a nice butt thank you. But what do you want?”

“I came over here to ask if you would like a four inch erect penis in your ass.”

“Why are you asking me to be more disappointed with my life choices than I already am?”

“dude chill. Ray and I are going upstairs to do memorials for Burnie, Caleb and Miles. Do you want to come?” Lindsay asked as she held out a hand to Kerry.

“Sure. But why are we giving Miles a memorial?”

“ Figured we’d draw a dick or something.” Ray answered.

“Fair enough “ Kerry said as he followed Ray and Lindsay up the stairs. The make it up to the Achievement Hunter office to find Jack playing Assassins Creed 2.

“JACK I NEED YOU TO BOOT UP ACHIEVEMENT CITY WE’RE GONNA DO THE THING!” Ray yelled.

“Aw. But I was doing something.” Jack said as he pouted.

“We gotta do this now while moral is high. We never know when shit will get fucked again.”

Jack sighed. “Fine” he said as he exited out of his game and booted up Minecraft. Once it loaded Ray grabbed the controller from him and made the memorial for Burnie and placed it near Geoff’s. next he made Caleb’s and put it next to his hole of a “house”. Finally Ray made Miles’s memorial near Michael’s house. On the sign on the memorial, he wrote, “RIP in Peace 8==D”

“Perfect.” Ray said as he saved and exited the game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And that was only the beginning of how I started to learn what I needed to do for who was left. It’s weird honestly. What happens to make you a better person. I don’t think I realized it at the time but that basic human decency that I was slowly figuring out would be the glue that held the last of us together. I mean not without a few bumps though._


	16. Chapter 4 Part 2: Steps One and Two Failed

_One of the most important things I learned while trapped in the office is, especially about being human, is that it’s really fucking hard. And I don’t mean in an “oh shit I have to have a job and support myself so I can live,” kind of way. It’s in the far more terrifying, “how do I make sure I never become the monster I could be,” kind of way. Step one, don’t be an asshole. Step one failed. Step two, don’t let the assholes push you down into, well, despair might actually be the best word for it at this point. Step two can be achieved even if you failed step one. Though some off us failed step two and the innocent suffered as a result._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About a week and a half after the latest memorials had gone up, everything was business as usual once more. Though everything was a lot quieter that it used to be, and Monty had not taken off the motion capture suit ever since he found it. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen once more. Since Burnie and Geoff could no longer cook due to obvious reasons, Jack and Gus were left as the new cooks. It was Jack’s turn to make dinner this particular night.

“God I miss the other people’s food.” Lindsay said with a sigh.

“Well fuck you too Lindsay.” Jack replied from the kitchen.

“It’s not bad. And at least it’s not me cooking.” Ray said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“I feel like you know you way around the McDonalds dollar menu to be able to replicate a big mac.” Kerry said.

“Hell no that’s a terrible idea.” Ray replied

“At least you all can eat food!” yelled AI Ryan from his spot in front of Gus.

“Shut up I’m not paying you to make friends.” Gus said as he tried to get the AI to focus again.

“You don’t pay me anything.” AI Ryan replied annoyed. “Just please for the love of fuck let me talk to other people. If you gave me a break things might be easier.”

“What would be easier? What are you even doing with AI Ryan? Is it something about his secrets?” Chris asked.

“No I just have to sit here and read ‘my name is Gustavo-‘”

“But please call me Gus.” Gus interrupted.

“For hours! It’s infuriating! I want to punch a piece of bacon or something to feel manly again.” AI Ryan said with a huff.

“But you can’t punch anything. You’re a computer.” Chris said confused.

“Just because I can’t doesn’t mean I don’t want to. And thanks for reminding me I have no soul.” AI Ryan replied sarcastically.

“We don’t need to have another make-shift HR meeting about how to treat AI Ryan do we?” Monty said.

“I’m not asking you to walk on egg shells when you all talk to me. Just a little respect is all.” AI Ryan said.

“So you want to be human huh? Guess that really does mean you count as a player in my little shit show! Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu!” MonoJoe said as he stood up on his usual spot on the counter.

“Where the fuck did you come from?” Lindsay asked.

“Cats live on a different plane of reality than the rest of you mere humans.” MonoJoe said as he stretched his paws. Everyone murmured in agreement.

“But wait. You’re not going to give us more of a break. I mean more people died last time.” Kerry said.

“No. you have the AI now. He counts as human, sorta. So it’s like only two people died last time.”

“That doesn’t make sense. We found him before Caleb, Burnie, and Miles died.” Monty said annoyed.

“Says the guy who lives in a mo-cap suit.”

“It’s an RT comic reference and a lifestyle choice!”

“It’s still fucking stupid.”

“Rude.”

“Anyway speaking of stupid, I have the next motive ready!” MonoJoe said with excitement.

“Great.” Ray said as he rolled his eyes. Suddenly MonoJoe pulled a yellow box from behind his back. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! THAT’S YOUR MOTIVE OF THE WEEK?!”

“Are those Firecracker Popsicles?” Lindsay asked

“Hell yeah they are. These babies are really hard to come by on the outside. Figured this rare treat would be worth fighting over. Maybe even killing over. Huh? Huh? Am I right?”

“Dude I would kill for some popsicles.” Kerry said in awe.

“Kerry. No.” Jack said.

“Pregnancy cravings get you every time.” MonoJoe said.

“Ok fuck that it’s not worth it.” Kerry said angrily .

“And now mood swings.”

“It’s not funny when you do it MonoJoe!” Lindsay said

“IT’S NOT FUNNY EVER!” Kerry yelled.

“I agree with Kerry on this one. I don’t get it, what’s so funny?” AI Ryan added

“You need a more refined taste in comedy.” Chris said.

“…shut up.” AI Ryan replied 

“I personally still think we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel.” Kerry said matter-of-factly.

“Shitty senses of humor aside, is popsicles really worth killing someone over? This is even dumber than your first motive!” Gus exclaimed.

“Sometimes you got to do something stupid to get results.” MonoJoe replied.

“STOP TAKING INNOCENT RT QUOTES AND RUINING THEM FOREVER!” Ray yelled.

“Yeah that’s Jon Risinger’s job!” Chris added.

“No he only did that for Gavin, Ryan, and I”

“If you’re really wondering why I chose popsicles it’s because I already used all my good heart-wrenching motives at the beginning.” MonoJoe said sadly.

“Even money would have made more sense than this frozen bulslhit!” Gus yelled.

“I’m on a budget asshole! Thanks for reminding me that I’m poor!” MonoJoe yelled.

“That’s not what I was even going for! You’re a fucking stupid excuse for a psychopathic justice loving murderer! Your entire existence makes no fucking sense! WHY ARE YOU EVEN STILL HERE?! EVERYONE HATES YOU AND WOULD BEAT THE SHIT OUT IF IT DIDN’T MEAN CERTAIN DEATH! GET THE FUCK OUT!!” Gus screamed.

“Fine. You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.” MonoJoe said as he took his leave

“You will be as missed as Chris if he died.” Gus replied

“Hey. Not cool man.” Chris said quietly.

“Calm down. This is going to end badly. They’re just fucking popsicles.” Jack said as he walked over to the rest of the group.

“It’s not even about the popsicles. We are all just a group of stranded assholes who haven’t seen the light of day in months. Maybe we’d be out of here by now if we weren’t all fucking idiots!”

“But our stupidity is why people liked us.” Kerry said sadly.

“Yeah. But it doesn’t fucking save our asses!”

“You know not all who wander are lost.” Chris said quietly.

“And not all who work here are fucking nerds!”

“Maybe we should just break for the night. Gus. Play a video game or something for the love of god. At least sleep.” AI Ryan said.

“Wait have you not been sleeping?” Ray asked “That’s a thing you should probably do”

“I can’t idiot! I have to work!”

“Poetry isn’t that important.” Lindsay said.

“DO YOU REALLY THINK I’VE BEEN WORKING ON POETRY WITH AI RYAN?!” Gus snapped.

“Oh I get it.” Ray said.

“I don’t.” Lindsay said.

“He left you clues didn’t he?” Monty asked.

“Yeah. But his penmanship is fucking awful.” Gus said sadly

“Take a break tonight. Please. For both of our sanities. Corrupted AIs are dangerous.” AI Ryan said.

“Fine.” Gus said as he took the laptop and walked out the door.

“Where do you think they’re going?” Chris asked

“Does it matter?” Jack asked

“I still don’t get what you all were talking about.” Lindsay said.

“If our every move wasn’t being recorded, I’d explain.” Ray replied.

“Fair enough.”

“WAIT! Gus left without eating dinner.” Jack said sadly.

“And no one ate dinner that night.” Kerry said.

“Actually, dinner is ready and getting cold.” Jack said as he went back into the kitchen to grab the food.

The rest of the evening was pretty quiet. Ray, Lindsay, and Jack spent the in the achievement hunter office playing video games.

“Do you think anything bad is going to happen to someone this time?” Lindsay asked as she sat in Michael’s old chair.

“I don’t know. Everyone seemed calm today. Maybe Gus will have a problem but even that is hard to believe this time.” Jack replied.

“I hope this is the time we rise above the shitty motive.” Ray said as he continued to play. The remaining achievement hunters spent the entire evening in the office until they fell asleep. 

The next morning they joined everybody in the kitchen once more. Gus was pulling out cereal for everyone. When the Achievement Hunters arrived.

“Hey I have a question. Have you seen the laptop?” Gus asked.

“There are many laptops in this building. You have to be more specific.” Ray said.

“The one with AI Ryan dumbass!”

“No. We were in the Achievement Hunter office all night why?”

“Well, I left him in here so someone else could use him and now I need him back. But nobody thinks they saw it.”

“Well maybe we should look then.” Monty suggested. “It can’t be that hard to find a razer with an AI on it.” he said as he stood up and walked out the door.

“Gus, Lindsay and I will check the Animation department.”

“Why?” Chris asked

“There are the most computers there. Also the most clutter. It’s gotta be a three person job.”

“We’re always in threes when shit hits the fan.” Kerry said.

“He’s in a computer. This is going to be a coincidence if something goes wrong.”

“That sounds like someone in denial of the possibility of shit hitting the fan would say.”

“Shut up.” Ray said as he walked out the door with Gus and Lindsay trialing behind. The three of them walked up the stairs to the animation department. To find that it looked like a mess. Things were knocked over and all over the floor.

“this is worse than I thought it would be” Gus said annoyed.

“Welp we better start looking.” Ray said as he walked over to a far corner of desks.

After about an hour of rummaging through clutter, Lindsay stood up and shouted something out. “Um guys?” Ray and Gus turned around. “Do you think this is the Laptop AI Ryan was on?” She asked scared. Ray and Gus’s eyes widened on horror. In Lindsay’s arms were the cracked remains of a razer laptop. The screen was cracked in multiple places and it looked like it was about to fall in half. Some of the letters on the keys were worn down with use and Gus’s acidic sweat. Sure enough it was the laptop that had once help AI Ryan.

“… oh shit!” Ray and Gus yelled simultaneously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And that is how the innocent fall victim. Maybe someone thought he was guilty of not sharing the truth, but it wasn’t like that. Whoever did it just didn’t fucking get it. They screwed us!_


	17. Chapter 4 Part 3: Investigation? START

_And I know we got screwed by losing AI Ryan, But shit just kept getting worse. MonoJoe made it worse. AGAIN!_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ah-hem, a body has been discovered. After a period of time, an office trial will be held.”

“Wait, what the fuck?” Gus said in shock.

“That couldn’t have been for us, right? I mean he’s not an employee right?” Lindsay asked.

“I’m not sure, but you need to go get everyone and bring them up here.”

Once everyone was there MonoJoe appeared. “Oh boy, another case is afoot! I feel my heart pounding over this thrilling case, unlike AI Ryan’s. Ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum.”

“He’s not really a human, does this really count as murder?” Jack asked.

“Yeah, I mean, aren’t the trials supposed to be for real murderers?” Chris added.

“There’s no way he counts as human.” Kerry said

“Oh, he most certainly does. It’s a sad, tragic, ironic story really. Poor old AI Ryan, he wanted to be treated like a human. He talked about how much he wanted to be treated like a person, so I decided he would be treated like a person. Didn’t you guys listen the other day, I even told him he would count. And as soon as it happened, someone went and broke, all for a bunch of popsicles. Well anyway, here’s your MonoJoe file. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave fuuuuuuuuuun!”

As he left everyone still looked at the broken laptop, unable to process what had happened. Monty went over to try and find everything, while everyone else started looking through all the wreckage. Ray check the MonoJoe file.

“Victim: AI Ryan. Found: Broken in the animation studio. It’s a broken laptop, what else do you want?”

“Wow. That was the least useful one yet.” Ray muttered to himself as he went over to talk to Monty. “So do you have any idea what happened to him?”

“Well, all I can guess is he was smashed in some way. The parts are near the wall, and a hole in it so I’ll guess he was smashed against the wall.”

“Anything else?”

“No. This is nothing like a human dying. There’s no blood, no weapon to trace, not really anything to help pin it on someone. What we need to do is find out who it couldn’t have been, and work from there.”

“Well it wasn’t Lindsay, Jack, or I, we were all in the AH office all night.”

“Alright. I was sleeping. I typically will be out and about at night, but last night since we’d been given a motive, I decided I’m not gunna be the dumbass found alone and killed. How about you go check everyone else’s alibi?”

Ray did just that. The closest person to him was Chris, so Ray asked.

“My alibi? Well, I was in my room all night. After Gus called us all stupid, I didn’t really feel like doing anything. I felt really bad.” Chris said

“Yeah, he really was being a jerk last night, but it was just in the heat of the moment that he said that stuff. He doesn’t mean it.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Chris said looking more optimistic.

Ray then moved on to talk to Gus.

“You really suspect me, I was the one who was looking for it in the first place. I’m the one that was going to save all your asses with that computer.”

“I was just asking where you were, not if you broke him.”

“I was in my room because you all made me take a break from working with AI Ryan. If you hadn’t and I hadn’t let anyone take him, then none of this would have happened.”

Knowing that he wasn’t going to get anything else out of Gus, he went to Kerry and asked him

“Where was I? Why do you need to know?”

“I’m trying to find out where everyone was last night.”

“Well I didn’t do shit last night!”

“So you were in your room, like everyone else?”

“Yeah, there was nothing to do. I just slept, I mean what could I do? I never really do anything at night anyway.”

With that Ray had asked everyone where they were and went back to Monty. But before he could say anything the annoying bell sounded

*DING, DONG, BING, BONG*

“It is now time for the office trial. Please report to my fabulous CEO office of awesomeness and don’t bitch about not having enough time.”

Once again they all filed into MonoJoe’s office and went down the elevator. They got to the room and Monty went up to MonoJoe before taking his spot.

“Okay, you barely gave us any time to investigate, do you really expect us to do this so fast?” Monty asked.

“Well your friends were searching around that office for a while before finding the laptop and they didn’t find anything there. It probably wouldn’t have revealed anything else, and even if it did it would have taken FOREVER. I hate being bored.”

“You’re just trying to be unfair now.”

“Your mom is unfair! Now get to your spot.”

And once again everyone took their spots, and the next class trial began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_At least we’d get to find out who screwed us over and they’d get their punishment. But seriously though. How much Hope could we get from justice? Was any of this even worth it?_


	18. Chapter 4 Part 4: Who Deleted the AI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or: the trial where we went, "just fuck me up"

Trial #4

Evidence

MonoJoe file #4-The victim was discovered in the animation studio.

Mess in the Animation Studio-There were tons of things scattered around the studio making it a huge mess.

Pieces and hole by the wall-Some laptop pieces were by the wall, so the laptop was probably broke against it.

Ray, Jack and Lindsay’s alibi-They were playing video games in the AH office all night.

Monty’s alibi-He went to sleep, unlike usual.

Chris’s alibi-He spent the night in his room, feeling bad about being called stupid.

Gus’s alibi-He was in his room all night because he forced away from the computer.

Kerry’s alibi-He was in his room, he said he doesn’t do anything at night, ever.

Monojoe: Let’s begin with a basic explanation of the office trial. So, your votes will determine the results. If you can figure out “whodunnit” then only they will receive punishment. But if you pick the wrong one… Then I’ll punish everyone besides the team killing fucktard, and the one that deceived everyone else will retire! Now, without further ado, llllllllllet’s play!

Ray: Hey! That’s my line.

MonoJoe: Sue me.

Kerry: I really don’t think this is even a valid trial. AI Ryan wasn’t a person.

Chris: Yeah, we can’t kill someone over some bullshit like this.

Gus: Just because he wanted to be a person doesn’t mean he counts. And are you really going to kill one of us over bullshit reasoning like this?

MonoJoe: Name one thing I’ve done that isn’t bullshit. Now the next person who complains about this trial is getting executed. Now stand your asses down, and solve your GODDAMN trial!

Monty: Well, how about we set up the crime scene.

Ray: It all took place in the animation studio, and it was a mess. It took us an hour to find the laptop AI Ryan was on in the first place.

Gus: Well maybe the killer made the mess to hide the laptop.

Lindsay: No, if we couldn’t find the laptop, how could they escape. The trial still needs to happen.

Jack: Well did they even know that AI Ryan would count? I think we were all surprised this counted.

MonoJoe: That sounds like complaining.

Jack: I’m just stating the fact that not everyone knew he counted.

MonoJoe: You’re pushing it tubby. Maybe I’ll let you off if you do the truffle shuffle.

Jack: You’re joking.

MonoJoe: DO THE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE!

>Jack unhappily does the truffle shuffle.

Jack: Happy?

MonoJoe: Very.

Monty: If we can actually make some progress in this trial it’ll be a miracle.

Gus: Well we don’t really know that much.

Jack: The laptop was in the animation studio under the huge mess.

Kerry: Well was it even broken in the animation studio? Can we even establish that?

_Actually, yeah!_

Ray: Yeah, there’s a small hole in the wall and some laptop parts by it. The killer probably moved the laptop under some junk, but they definitely broke it in there.

Chris: Okay, but does that really help us?

Monty: Yes, it does. You see, the killer was up there with the laptop, and with the huge mess up there, we can assume that they’re the cause of that too. Someone had to have been up there for a while to actually do all that. And that someone is one of us.

Gus: Well it wasn’t me.

Chris: Or me.

Jack: Or me.

Kerry: Or me.

Lindsay: Or me.

Monty: Yeah, everyone said they weren’t up there, but obviously someone is lying.

Gus: Well I’m not the one lying. But I don’t know if I can trust any of you.

Chris: How can we be sure you aren’t lying though?

Jack: We shouldn’t just jump to thinking someone is lying.

Kerry: It could be any one of us!

_Oh no it couldn’t!_

Ray: No, we can eliminate a few people. Lindsay, Jack, and I were all in the achievement hunter office last night. After the motive was given we decided it was best if we just stuck together and tried to lighten ourselves up with some video games.

Lindsay: I can vouch for this.

Jack: Me too.

Gus: So we’ve eliminated you guys, but can anyone else vouch for anyone?

Monty: Well I don’t want to jump to conclusions just yet, but I do know someone who I can’t vouch for that I should. Kerry, where were you last night?

Kerry: Hehe, what are you talking about?

Monty: You know what I’m talking about. How every night you try to fight me.

Lindsay: Wait, what?

Monty: Yeah, every night since we’ve been here, Kerry has tried to fight me. I just stop him and tie him up in a closet.

Jack: That’s been happening the whole since we’ve been here?

Monty: Yeah.

Gus: Why did you not say anything before?

Monty: Well he never wins, I figured it was harmless.

Ray: Why do you let him out every morning?

Monty: I don’t.

Chris: Then how does he get out?

Kerry: Bad writing.

Gus: You aren’t going to deny this.

Kerry: No, I mean I’ve never won. What’s the point in denying it if I’m never going to win , especially now that you know. I do it every night.

_Stop fucking it up!_

Ray: But Kerry, you told me you didn’t do anything last night. In fact you said you don’t do anything at night, ever.

Kerry: Okay, you caught me. I admit it, I did it!

Ray: Oh, I didn’t think it would be that easy.

Kerry: Yeah. I was looking for Monty at his room like usual, but he wasn’t there. I went up to the animation studio since he has a hard on for that shit, and I saw a light, but nothing else. I yelled “I’m gunna fight you!” like I always do, which in retrospect might have something to do with why he always knows I’m trying to beat him up and why I never succeed. Then I tripped over something, and knocked over something, and I hit my head so it’s kind of a blur, but then I saw the broken laptop, and I realized I must have knocked something on it. And then Monty was gone so yeah, I’m sorry.

Monty: Wait, you think you knocked something onto the laptop and broke it?

Kerry: Yeah.

Monty: Well Ray, why don’t you explain what’s wrong with that.

Ray: Why do I have to do it? You know the answer so why don’t you say it? It’s like I’m the protagonist or something.

Monty: Shut up and tell him the problem.

_Here’s your answer…jerk._

Ray: The laptop was thrown against the wall. We stated this before, but you were so fixated on the fact that you think you did it you must’ve ignored it. Whoever did it, threw it against the wall which is probably what broke it.

Kerry: Wait, so I’m not the killer, what a relief. But wait, does that mean I don’t get the popsicles?

Gus: Why are you even remotely concerned about that?

Jack: But he said Monty was the one in the room, so does that mean Monty is the killer?

Monty: Well, the problem with that is, I wasn’t the one in that room.

Lindsay: But Kerry said you weren’t in your room.

Monty: I wasn’t.

Kerry: Yeah you could have given me a sign that said you weren’t going to be there. it could have said, “you are stupid”. that would have been Enough. Enough to show you care.

Ray: What the fuck! You told me you were in your room.

Monty: Yeah, I lied.

Ray: Why?

Monty: I was hanging out with someone that I never want to be seen with.

Chris: Me?

Monty: No, Gus.

Ray: But Gus also said he was in his room.

Gus: Yeah, I lied too.

Ray: Why the fuck did you guys lie about that? This is a life or death situation!

Monty: Do Gus and I really seem like the kind of people who would hang out together?

Ray: I guess not.

Gus: Exactly. Nobody was supposed to know of the secret friendship that Monty and I forged. We were both hanging out in my office last night.

Lindsay: How long have you two been secret best friends?

Gus: It’s a secret, it could’ve started when we got here, or maybe we’ve been best friends for years. I can’t tell you that, just like you weren’t supposed to know about us hanging out.

Kerry: The sign could have also said “Meet me in Gus’s office in 15 minutes if you want to get your ass kicked.

Jack: This is dumber than Kerry.

Kerry: Hey!…Yeah…

Ray: But that means there’s only one person that it could be, only one person that could have been on that laptop.

_You killed AI Ryan! You bastard!_

Ray: Where were you Chris?

Chris: I, I, I was going on a quest to destroy the one ring.

Monty: Do you have anyone to vouch for that?

Chris: Uuuuuuuuh, Gandalf?

Gus: Chris, shut up with your nerd shit and tell us where you were.

Chris: Well, I, I was dragging a body bag around the building. I was full of ice cream.

Lindsay: Chris, just stop.

Ray: Don’t worry, I’ll tell you where he was.

**Closing Arguments**

Act 1: After MonoJoe gave us the motive Gus insulted us all. It was a heat of the moment thing, but it was enough to have him take a break from AI Ryan who he left in here. The killer decided take AI Ryan when no one was around and see what they could do.

Act 2: The killer went to the animation studio to do who knows what with the computer, while Kerry went to play his usual game of cat and mouse with Monty, however Monty was off somewhere else. Kerry decided to go into the animation studio to look for him.

Act 3: When Kerry got there he shouted that he was going to fight the killer, which probably scared the killer so much that they decided to run. In the panic they threw the laptop which smashed against the wall, breaking it.

Act 4: While trying to get to the killer, Kerry knocked over a bunch of stuff. Kerry saw the destroyed laptop and thought it was his fault so he knocked over a lot of other things to hide the laptop, and this almost got the killer off with Kerry thinking he did it, but not quite.

Ray: Isn’t that right, Chris?

Chris: I’m sorry, Chris is not at the phone right now. Please leave a message after the beep and he’ll call you back. BEEEEEEEP!

Gus: Nobody is buying this stupid routine, now fess up Chris!

Chris: Chris isn’t here maaaaaaan.

Jack: Chris please stop this.

Chris: No, Chris is actually the doctor. I’m Chris’s monster.

Lindsay: I think we might have actually broken Chris.

Chris: If C times h=ris, then what is C squared plus ris?

Jack: Snap out of it Chris!

Chris: Actually, my name is Jango Oceanshiba, and I’m the Ultimate Male Model!

Monty: Can we please just vote MonoJoe, I think the answer is pretty clear now.

Chris: Everyone’s Chris, and imma super Maria!

MonoJoe: Yeah, just vote. This is getting sad.

**Trial End**

“Hey hey hey we have a killer!” Monojoe said with glee as he pointed at Chris. “I knew stupidity immunity would only take you so far.” Chris looked down at his feet and said nothing.

“But wait. now I’m curious if Kerry is hiding anything else from us.” Jack said as he looked at Kerry.

“Uh…” Kerry said.

“I know something you never told us. Your title.” Gus said.

“I still don’t want to talk about that.” Kerry replied nervously.

“I think I have a guess.” Lindsay said. “I remember a while ago from the newlyweds game that we did. Something about your dick.”

“Is Kerry’s penis really relevant right now?” Ray asked.

I mean… kinda. I just gotta ask. ‘Ultimate Grower?” Lindsay said.

“… yeah” Kerry replied.

“REALLY AND YOU DIDN’T WANT TO TELL US THAT?!” Gus yelled

“It’s not the one I wanted.”

“You want to be the ultimate shower and grower. But no one should ever that much power.” Lindsay guessed.

“It’s true.” Kerry replied

“Wait wait wait! Aren’t you going to ask why I did it?” Chris finally spoke up.

“No.” Gus said

“Why not?”

“Because we know exactly why you did it.” Monty said.

“How…?”

“You did it because you were so sick of being called stupid that you wanted to try and solve the mysteries of AI Ryan but instead you ended up breaking him because you are always doomed to fail. You tried your best but sorry Frodo. You fucked up” Monty explained.

“And you fucked all of us in the process!” Gus exclaimed.

“I never meant for that to happen. I just wanted to be respected.” Chris said sadly.

“That probably wouldn’t have happened even if you did find his secrets.” Kerry said.

“God how did we let it get so bad?” Gus asked angrily

“What exactly are you talking about?” Jack asked.

“I mean all of this!”

“Ok ok ok.” MonoJoe interrupted. “Save your angst for the post post trial. We still gots an execution to do!”

“Wait do I get any last words?!”

“Fine. But just know that I hated you the most you middle earth moron!”

“My biggest regret is not saying goodbye to #beartube.” Chris said sadly.

“Ok you have a point. #beartube is fucking great. Anyway it’s time to wrap this shit up. I got an extra special execution planned for you today. I call it ‘A Simple Walk’.” MonoJoe said with a grin as he pulled out his familiar red button and mallet. “Game over: Chris Demarais.” he said as he slammed the mallet down on the button once more.

Suddenly Chris was catapulted to a set painted to look like the countryside of New Zealand. The floor was flat unlike the terrain that he remembered walking when he and Kerry had made their trek. Then, the floor began to move. Chris began to walk against the floor in an attempt to escape. The pace of the floor began to increase and with it the speed of Chris’s running. Eventually, he was able to reach the opposite wall, one painted to look like mount doom. He sighed in relief when he reached his goal. The floor stopped moving as he touched the wall. For a brief second he thought he was safe. Then he turned around and saw, that the first wall was going barreling towards him. He only managed a small yelp before he was crushed between the two walls.

The remaining six looked on with disdain for both the killer and MonoJoe.

“It only took six deaths in-between for me to finally be able to off him.” MonoJoe said.

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself?” Ray said angrily.

“You should be used to the despair by now. “MonoJoe said with a smirk.

Ray gulped nervously. Why did despair have to be so prevalent? Why did it always beat hope?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_We were getting close to the end of our time now. Despair was all around. I didn’t know how wrong I was back then. But of course. I know better now._


	19. Chapter 5 Part 1: Alive but Not Living

_Everything after that trial happened so fast. I can’t even begin to describe the ways everyone was feeling. But for the sake of me conveying this information to you. I guess I’ll just have to try._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours had pasted since Chris’s trial. The group found out that if they were ready to explore immediately, then their reward was waiting for them. It turned out that they had unlocked the last floor, the live action department. Instead of gathering in their usual spot of the kitchen, the group settled on the RT Podcast set for their meet up place. Gus sat in his normal chair while Jack took Burnie’s old chair. Lindsay, Kerry, and Monty were squeezed onto the couch while Ray had opted to pull up a chair from the Patch set, which was noticeably missing one of its hourglasses.

“How much dust do you think has been collecting up here from lack of use over the past few months?” Lindsay asked.

“At least it had time to let the dust settle.” Kerry said quietly. Nobody was really in a talking mood.

“So where do we go from here?” Jack asked.

“Does it even matter?” Gus said, not looking up from the smart phone he had found in his room before he went upstairs.

“There are no more stairs. No more rewards. Nothing else to look forward to.” Monty said.

“Except maybe making out of here alive.” Ray replied. Everyone stared at him.

“What’s the point?” Kerry said. “It’s not like we’ll be able to find a way unless we kill someone.”

“I don’t believe that. I never did.”

“How can you just deny our predicament? You really are in denial Ray.” Jack said sadly.

“I’m not denying what’s going on. I just think that there has got to be a trick to beating MonoJoe.”

“AI Ryan was our trick to winning.” Gus said.

“Well clearly he wasn’t if he’s gone now.”

“And you’re just going to disregard his death?” Lindsay said appalled.

“Hell no. I miss him a lot. In the short time we knew him, he helped us learn so much about how to give a shit about people. Miles being the outlier. But what I’m trying to say is that he could not have been our only hope for victory.”

“Is this all a fucking game to you?! Are our lives a game?” Jack asked angrily.

“MonoJoe wants to treat this shit show like a game then so be it. I’ll treat it like one. Not our lives but his despair game. And no game is unbeatable.”

“What about Super Meat Boy?” Kerry asked.

“Someone out their has probably beaten that. Look there has got to be a reason we’ve made it this far without falling victim to either death or murder.”

“What do you mean?” Monty asked

“Monty, you kind of exist on a different plane of reality. You have seen through all the bullshit and know what to do and what not to do.” Ray turned to Lindsay. “Lindsay, you are one of the strongest people I know. Your will to live for Michael’s sake is basically indestructible.” Next he turned to Kerry, “You have some skills to know how to stay out of real trouble. You might also be the winner of the stupidity immunity, but you’re honestly not that dumb. You managed to save our asses that one time with your infinite knowledge of asses.” Then he turned to Gus. “Everyone fears, respects, and it turned on by you. You’re such a goddamn prick but you just get it.” Gus raises his fist in acknowledgement. Finally he turned to Jack. “You have one of the biggest hearts of everyone. You have done so much to help people that nobody would really want to harm you and vice versa. All of you have something that is keeping you alive.”

“We may be alive but we sure as hell aren’t living” Jack replied.

“But that doesn’t mean we won’t be able to find a way to live again.” Ray said.

“What about you Ray?” Monty asked.

“Huh?”

“What’s keeping you alive?”

“I dunno I guess. Probably luck. The only think I really having going for me is video games. I don’t really have any other useful skills to be honest.”

“I have a guess as to how you’ve made it this far.”

“Really. Why am I still alive?”

“Hope.”

“Hope?”

“For something more than this.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

“AI Ryan was our hope.” Gus said

“He doesn’t have to be. Maybe we have to find it in ourselves.” Ray responded.

“I see what you mean. We make ourselves believe that there is something better.” Kerry said, finally understanding.

“But what if there isn’t?” Lindsay asked.

“But what if there is? That’s the question you have to ask yourself.” Ray answered

“How can you see the glass half full?”

“It’s what keeps me going.”

“You’re right.” Kerry said. “Hope may seem like a load of shit, but I’d rather be optimistic than sad all the goddamn time.”

“It can only last you so long though.” Jack said.

“This isn’t like the sandwich argument. This is about not killing each other and figuring a way out of this office.”

“AI Ryan was our only way out.” Gus said yet again.

“You can’t just assume that!” Ray exclaimed.

“It’s not an assumption.”

“Yeah it is!”

“Ray please calm down.” Jack said.

Ray sighed. “Alright fine. I don’t want to force you all to agree with me. But don’t you just get sick of being sad all the time?”

“Yeah, but if I’m happy than the damn cat will just find a way to take it away again.” Lindsay said.

“You know how you think he can make you sad all the time and never let you be happy. Just don’t. Don’t let him get to you. Don’t play into his paws.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Fake it. That’s what I do.” Monty added.

“Yeah easy for you to say, Mr. Stoic”

“He totally cried during the Notebook.” Gus said.

“Hey. Shut up.” Monty replied flipping him off.

“Either way, we can’t give up. We’ve made it too far to give up now.” Ray said.

“I guess you have a point.” Jack said

Suddenly the familiar bell began to ring. “DING DONG BING BONG. It is now 10 pm. That mean’s its officially nighttime. Good night you cockbites. See you bright and early for another shit-tastic day!” MonoJoe’s voice rang out with glee.

“So what now?” Lindsay asked.

“I propose a new rule for the group. The only time we will separate is at night for bed. We all get up at 6 from now one and meet each other in the kitchen. There we will vote on what all six of us will do for the day. Nobody gets left alone. All in favor?” Monty asked

Jack, Kerry, Lindsay, and Ray let out a collective “I” while Gus said, “Nay”

“You’ve been out voted. And this isn’t an arbitrary rule.” Monty said.

“I hate all of you.” Gus said.

“Bullshit.”

“So are we gonna call it a night than?” Jack asked.

“Yeah.” Ray said as he stood up to walk back downstairs. “But just so you know, my first plan was to try and outlast this damn cat. And that’s still my plan.”

“YEAH FUCK THE CAT!” Kerry yelled as he stood up.

“Please don’t fuck the cat.” Jack said.

“I’m not ready to go yet.” Gus said.

“Yeah well too bad. Put down the fucking piano tiles and go to bed.” Monty said as he stood up to leave as well.

“Fuck you then.” Gus said as he got up and left. Kerry, Lindsay, and Jack followed Gus out the door to the stairs. Monty went to exit as well.

“Monty wait.” Ray said as he grabbed Monty’s arm. “Why are you of all people the first one to agree with me?”

“You still have common sense. Plus you’d totally be the protagonist if this was a game.”

“But you’re the one who’s figured ever out first.”

“That’s not what makes you an anime protagonist.” Monty said as he left.

“Welp. I guess we just gotta move forward then.” Ray said as he left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Hope. Now that’s a strange thing to be felling in this kind of situation. But it felt like it was all I really had anymore. We all had it whether we knew it or not. And that’s was MonoJoe’s downfall. That doesn’t mean we stopped fucking it up yet. No, we still had one left. And it sucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you excuse me I have to go get a tooth re-glued into my mouth.


	20. Chapter 5 Part 2: The Lowest Blows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I say some pretty mean shit about certain people that I don't mean.

_To be honest, we totally should have known that sticking together wasn’t going to work for everyone. Gus was trying to be more secretive than usual and always trying to get away from us. Or at least that’s what I’m assuming would have happened if other shit hadn’t happened to throw us all off. Well technically I guess Gus really did succeed in getting away from the group. Now I probably should just explain what I mean here._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day everyone was up and out of bed at 6 am. Except for Gus who was dragged out of his room by Jack a little after 7. The group grabbed some fruit from the kitchen and went back to their new meeting place on the podcast set. They sat down in the same seats that they had sat in the previous day.

“So if we have to stay together, should we vote on what we want to do?” Jack asked.

“I vote that I don’t want to be here.” Gus said, not looking away from his smart phone.

“No you have to stay for now.” Kerry said. “We can’t kill each other if we’re all together.”

“Well technically we could, but the investigation and trial would be too easy.” Monty said.

“Well nobody is killing anyone so that is that.” Ray said

“I guess you’re right.” Lindsay said with a sigh.

“No more falling in to that fucking cat’s traps.”

“HEARD YOU TALKIN SHIT THOUGHT I WOULDN’T HEAR!” MonoJoe’s voice rang out as he appeared in the middle of the coffee table on the set. “I see you changed your meeting spots. Thought you could get away from me huh? Well I see all. Even Kerry when he touches himself. By the way.” He pulls out a squirt bottle from behind his back and sprayed Kerry with water.

“Ok… what… why are you… FUCKING STOP IT!” Kerry yelled as MonoJoe continued to spray him.

“You’re making god cry.” MonoJoe said as he finally stopped spraying Kerry.

“All fish killing aside. Why the fuck are you here?! It’s barely been two days since the last murder. Why are you giving us a new motive now?” Lindsay asked.

“I’m not here to give you a motive you stupid bitch.”

“Wait, what?” Ray said in surprise.

“Nope. No more motives. No more bullshit. Probably. You’ve unlocked the whole building. You 100% percented this.”

“Does this mean we win and can leave?” Ray asked hopefully.

“Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu. FUCK NO!”

“Why the hell not!?”

“There’s nothing left for you outside of this office.”

“Of course there is. There’s a whole world outside!” Kerry exclaimed.

“Nope. I promise you there is nothing for you. Nobody one the outside is missing you or waiting for you. Anybody who was is dead now. I made sure of that.”

“How can you say such a horrible thing?!” Jack asked

“Have you not been paying attention to the other shit I’ve said over the past two months? I can’t stand any of you and I want nothing more than to make you feel despair.”

“Then why not give us another motive?” Monty asked.

“Because you are the remainders. The ones my motives couldn’t touch. You get to suffer the most. The most resilient are the ones who bear my burdens. You get to live with survivor’s guilt!”

“What are we guilty of?” Ray asked

“You are the ones who sent your friends to their deaths.”

“And that was because those were our only options. YOU MADE US DO IT!” Kerry yelled.

“So I did. But that doesn’t matter anymore does it?”

“I hate you so much.” Gus said.

“And since you’re all together, I’d like to review everything with you. Just so you never forget.” MonoJoe said as he pulled out a remote control and turned on the television that was right across podcast set. MonoJoe got off of his place on the coffee table to turn Ray around so he could face the TV as well. “You get to watch this too.” He said as he pressed play.

The first clip to appear on screen was that off Barbara shaking the MonoJoe. They watched as the MonoJoe exploded in her arms and she fell to the floor dead. “Fucking bitch had it coming.”

“Are you really making us watch our friends die again?” Ray asked quietly.

“Yes now pay attention!” MonoJoe replied as the next clip began. It showed Ryan standing at the edge of the pit in the prop room while Gavin walked towards him with the camera. Suddenly, Gavin tripped and the camera and tripod that he had been holding went flying out of his hands. The tripod hit Ryan square in the stomach. The blow made him lose his balance and sent him falling straight to his doom. Gavin scrambled quickly to get up and look at the damage he had caused. We then proceeded to throw up into the pit. The scene quickly shifted to Gavin’s execution. The sight of Gavin being impaled by burning debris played before the group for the second time. Ray clenched his fist.

The scene shifted again to a view of the Achievement Hunter office. Geoff and Michael were talking. Michael was visibly upset and it did not look like Geoff was helping. Geoff put his hand on Michael shoulder and Michael pushed it off. Geoff looked like has was yelling and then Michael began to choke him. Geoff attempted grab at Michael’s arms to make him release him and managed to cut his arms with his nails. Michael temporarily released his grasp, but before he had time to catch his breath, Michael pushed him onto Jack’s desk and began to beat him with the Xbox controller.

“MICHAEL NO!” Lindsay screamed and tears rolled down her face.

“Shut the fuck up, I’m trying to watch the movie!” MonoJoe yelled.

“There isn’t even sound.” Monty said.

“Details.”

The scene shifted once more to a recount of Michael’s execution. Images of Michael exploding along with the square he was attached too was played in replayed again.

“Why are you making us re-watch these?” Lindsay sobbed.

“Despair!” MonoJoe exclaimed with joy as the movie shifted to the next screen.

This time it was Burnie entering the conference room. Miles confronted Burnie with rope and began to wrap it around Burnie’s neck. Burnie and Miles struggled until Burnie finally collapsed on the floor dead. Caleb came in and saw this scene without Miles noticing so he runs into the closet. Miles got up and began to laugh. He took Burnie’s clothes off and put them on himself. Suddenly Miles looked at the closet door. He ran up to the door with the knife and brought it down on Caleb, who could barely be seen. He then dragged Caleb out of the closet and stabbed him a few more times before lodging the knife in Caleb’s stomach.

“I know you had multiple views of this shit but I wanted to make sure that was one you haven’t seen yet.” MonoJoe said with a smile.

“Miles you dumbass…” Kerry said quietly.

Then it shifts to Miles’s execution. The group yet again witnessed Miles being sliced in half by Crescent Rose.

“Goddammit…” Monty said.

The next scene began with Chris hiding in the animation department with AI Ryan. Chris is pressing random buttons on the laptop causing AI Ryan to have a pained expression on his face.

“Oh my god he was hurting him!” Gus yelled.

“Well duh. He kinda killed him.” MonoJoe replied. Back on the screen Chris continued to press buttons. Chris suddenly got a startled look on his face. AI Ryan’s screen blanked out right as Chris began to chuck him at the wall. The black screen cracked as the laptop hit the wall. Chris promptly ran away from the scene of the crime.

The final scene began to recap the most recent execution. Chris was crusted between the shire and mount doom. Then the screen went black.

“WHY THE HELL DID WE HAVE TO RELIVE ALL THAT!” Jack yelled angrily

“Because you are all the worst of the worst.” MonoJoe said.

“Fuck that!” Kerry yelled.

“I’m just telling it as it is. You are all the rejects of Rooster Teeth.” 

“That’s not true at all.” Ray said. Still clenching his fist.

“Lemme explain you a thing. Lindsay is terrible and was only ever relevant because of her dead husband. Kerry is just an Achievement Hunter reject. Gus is a sad ugly man who only uses his narcissism for comedic bullshit that isn’t really funny. Jack is never funny; he may have helped start Achievement Hunter but he’s useless and fat now. Monty is a workaholic who is probably doesn’t actually give a shit about anything but his work. And you Ray, you’ve managed to offend almost all of your fans with the shit you say. None of you are missed and I’m going to make sure you know how horrible and pointless you all are for the rest of your pathetic lives.”

Everyone stared in shock. “…No… you’re wrong.” Ray said as his hand began to bleed from digging his nails into his palm too hard.

“Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu muu. I’m done here” MonoJoe said as he disappeared.

“Fuck it. I’m out.” Gus said as he got up and left.

“Wait-“ Ray tried to call after him.

“Let him go. I think we should all be alone for a bit.” Monty said.

“But what about the rule we literally just set?!”

“After that shit? I think we all need to think. Jack, Lindsay, and Kerry, go get some rest. I’m going to patch Ray’s hand up.” Monty said as he grabbed Ray. Ray looked down at his hand, finally noticing the cut he had made.

“Shit.”

“It’s ok I got this.” Monty said as he pulled Ray out the door. The two of them walked down the stairs Monty pulled Ray closer to him.

“Dude what are you doing?” Ray asked confused.

“Something weird was up with AI Ryan’s death.” He whispered

“What do you mean?” Ray whispered back.

“His screen turned black before he even left Chris’s hands”

“Yeah I did see that. Why? Did you think something is fishy about that?”

“Yep.” Monty whispered and he and Ray made it down to the nurse station on the first floor. Monty bandaged Ray’s cut and sent him back to his room to rest. Ray decided to take a nap. A few hours later Ray woke up again looking like a mess. He went up stairs to the kitchen to get something to eat. He was greeted by Kerry and Monty.

“Ray we were going to go take out the trash. Wanna come?” Kerry asked.

“As long as I’m not going to be put in the trash.” Ray replied.

“I figured we could go get Gus, Jack, and Lindsay out of their rooms when we were done.” Monty said.

“That sound’s good.” Ray said as he watched Kerry pick up a full trash bag. He walked out the door and with Ray and Monty following close behind. Kerry was the first one to reach the basement. He opened the door and turned on the lights to the garbage room.

“God it’s such a fucking mess in here!” Kerry said with disgust as he looked around. Ray and Monty entered the room and surveyed the surroundings. There were pieces of paper scattered about the room and there was a pile of what looked like ash surrounding the incinerator.

“Ah-hem, a body has been discovered. After a period of time, an office trial will be held.” MonoJoe’s voice rang out.

“Wait… WHAT?!” Ray, Kerry, and Monty yelled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_We didn’t know what the fuck was going on there. We didn’t even know who died. All we were left with was scattered notes and some ash. Of course we learned pretty quickly who was done it. And then things got messy._


	21. Chapter 5 Part 3: ¿Investigation? START

_Yeah… so about things getting messy. It didn’t take us long to figure out who was missing. But unfortunately for me, It did take some of us a while to figure out what really happened._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack and Lindsay had made it to the incinerator and saw the ashes around it. MonoJoe appeared to give them their usual MonoJoe file.

“I’m sure by now you’ve figured out that the one who died is Gus. So how about you find out who did it. It’s probably not too hard this time, I mean there’s only 5 of you. Even just guessing you have a 50/250 chance.”

“Why did you use that large of a division?” Monty asked.

“Don’t question me and my amazing math skills. If you’re so good at math why don’t you calculate the killer?”

“That doesn’t even remotely begin to make sense.”

“Shut up and take your MonoJoe file. Figure out who did it and I promise that this execution will be the most EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME one yet!”

He gave out the MonoJoe file and left. Ray proceeded to look at the file.

“Victim: Gustavo Sorola (But please call him Gus). Found: ashes in the garbage room. Classification of death: Matricide. The victim was thrown into the incinerator by a young Hispanic male who wears glasses and enjoys to ju bl.”

“What the fuck? This is basically saying I did it!” Ray shouted.

“Well did you do it?” Kerry asked.

“Of course not dumbass.”

Lindsay then said, “Um, I think I found a clue.” She pointed to the wall and in marker it said. “Hi, I’m Ray Narvaez jr. I killed Gus. Vote for me at the trial.”

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!” Ray shouted.

“Ray, I also found this.” Jack interrupted, holding Ray’s Twitch jacket. “It was hanging off of the incinerator.”

“Guys, what the fuck? I swear I didn’t do it.”

Kerry then picked up a piece of paper from the ground. “Gus, meet me in the garbage room. I promise I’m not going to kill you. Love Ray.” Kerry read.

“Okay, you guys really can’t believe this.”

“Yeah, I can’t believe you loved Gus and you killed him. He was your mom.” Lindsay said.

“That’s not funny!”

“Sorry, but it does really look like your guilty.”

“Yeah, so Ray, I think we’ll investigate somewhere else. Not that we don’t feel comfortable around you because you might be the killer…but…yeah.” Jack said.

Everyone but Monty left to see if they could find anything and Ray went up to Monty.

“Monty, did you find anything?”

“Yes. These don’t look like ashes.” Monty replied.

“Well what are they?”

“Coffee grounds. There’s no way they aren’t, I even tasted them.”

“You tasted them knowing they could be ashes?”

“I could tell they weren’t by looking at them, I was just trying to make sure for everyone’s sake.”

“This all seems rather strange. It looks like everything was set up to make it look like I killed Gus, but if those aren’t his ashes, is he really dead?”

“I’m not sure, but this does all seem set up that way. You are certainly being set up. Especially with that message saying you did it. If we’re going to prove you innocent then we should look elsewhere. Let’s try…”

*DING, DONG, BING, BONG*

“It is now time for the office trial. Please report to my fabulous CEO office of awesomeness and don’t bitch about not having enough time.”

Everyone filed into MonoJoe’s office and went down the elevator as usual.

“What the hell was that? We had like three minutes to investigate!” Ray shouted when they got to the court room.

“I said don’t bitch about not having enough time.” MonoJoe replied. “I think this case is pretty obvious anyway, so let’s get started!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And thus began the most bullshit thing ever. Of all time._


	22. Chapter 5 Part 4: Who Burned Ray's Mom?

Trial#5

Evidence

MonoJoe File #5-Says that Gus was killed by falling into the incinerator by a Hispanic

Message on the wall-Says that Ray killed Gus

Twitch Jacket-Belongs to Ray

Note-Tells Gus to meet at the incinerator room, love Ray

Coffee grounds-What appears to be ashes is actually coffee grounds

MonoJoe: Let’s begin with a basic explanation of the office trial. So, your votes will determine the results. If you can figure out “whodunnit” then only they will receive punishment. But if you pick the wrong one… Then I’ll punish everyone besides the team killing fucktard, and the one that deceived everyone else will retire! Now, would someone like to come forth and admit that they’re the killer?

Ray: Are you talking to me?

MonoJoe: Are you admitting to being the killer, because we can start the voting now!

Monty: But he’s isn’t guilty. We have evi…

MonoJoe: You shut up! I’ve had enough out of you! How about you let some other people contribute for once. It’s always you who figures out EVERYTHING! Maybe some of the other people want to figure it out. For this trial, you aren’t allowed to talk. I’m even considering not giving you a vote.

Monty: That’s not fair.

MonoJoe: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Life isn’t fair assfuck. Now shut up and let the trial begin.

Ray: Well let me start by saying I didn’t do it.

MonoJoe: Classic guilty denial.

Ray: Well I’m not. I mean if you even look at the crime scene, all the evidence looks stacked against me.

Jack: Not to be mean, but if the evidence is stacked against you, that kind of just makes you look guilty.

Ray: Well look at the message on the wall. Why would I even write that if I was guilty?

Lindsay: Well, MonoJoe might have done that…

Ray: And my twitch jacket. Why would I have just left it there? After Michaels trial MonoJoe put the thermostat back up to normal and locked it, so why would I have even been wearing it?

Kerry: That’s a good point.

Ray: And the note, why would I leave such a vital piece of evidence just lying around?

MonoJoe: Alright, you wanna know why everything’s so obviously pointing to you dumbass?

Ray: Yeah, I would!

MonoJoe: BECAUSE YOU’RE GUILTY! GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!

Ray: But I’m not! You just left evidence to point to me!

MonoJoe: I left it because you burned it all! Ray was a poor sport and threw Gus into the incinerator!

Lindsay: So Ray did through Gus in there?

MonoJoe: Yeah, he invited Gus down there. He knows everyone trusts him since him and Monty are the ones that saved all your asses in the last 4 trials. Ray knew he’d be able to get away with it easily. I mean he’s already a monster, didn’t you see his walking dead game playthrough?

Ray: That’s a video game, not real life!

MonoJoe: But like you said while playing it, it’s all about survival.

Jack: Ray, did you really do it?

MonoJoe: Of course he did it, that’s what I’m telling you! Since the incinerator room has been opened after Michael’s trial anyone had the freedom to throw shit away there, but Chris and Miles never took advantage of that. But Ray had to be a spoil sport and just throw everything away to throw off the investigation.

Kerry: Well then why did we have the trial?

MonoJoe: Because thems the rules. Someone dies and you guys have a trial and vote. And since Gus’s ashes are the closest thing to a body, that’s what we have to do!

_No, that’s so fucking wrong!_

Ray: But those weren’t even ashes in front of the incinerator! They were…

MonoJoe: SHUT UP! YOU’RE DONE!

Ray: But you can’t just end the trial now.

MonoJoe: You’re right, we need a case summary. I think I’ll take care of that.

**Closing arguments**

Act 1: Ray killed Gus.

MonoJoe: There, you happy now everyone vote!

**Trial End**

“Great! Now we’re all going to die because you fell for his trap!” Ray yelled

“actually they got it right so… HOLY FUCK GUYS YOU FOUND YOUR KILLER!” MonoJoe screeched.

“No that’s wrong! I know he didn’t kill Gus. Hell I’m not even sure Gus is even dead.” Monty argued.

“What did I tell you about talking during the trial.”

“the trial is over. And I’m allergic to cats and bullshit!”

“So you think Gus isn’t dead? Then why isn’t he here?” Jack asked.

“He’s probably hiding to get away from us.” Monty replied.

“I still don’t understand why he needed to get away from us so badly.” Lindsay said sadly

“I have a theory. I’ll tell you about it if I can prove it right.”

“now that we’ve established the Gus is probably isn’t dead, Can I go now?” Ray asked

“Hell no. you’re still going to get executed.” MonoJoe said.

“What?!”

“so maybe Gus didn’t die and maybe I did just fabricate evidence to frame you. the point is that you’ve been a pain in my ass the whole time you’ve been here. It was a bit of a shock honestly. You’re an idiot but somehow you’ve made it this far. Now it’s time to deal with you. And with the help of your friends, I was able to do so.”

“Wait. But I just closed my eyes and picked one. I honestly did have doubts that Ray killed Gus.” Kerry said.

“And you were the swing vote. If you really had doubts then you should have acted on then. To be honest I still would have executed Ray anyway.” MonoJoe said as Kerry looked down at his feet sadly.

“I though these trials were supposed to be fair?” Monty said.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

“And why did you pick me instead of Monty? I have used him as a crutch for everything.” Ray asked

“This office is a no protagonist zone.”

“I’m totally not the protagonist!”

“Deny it all you want. You totally are. Anyway I’m getting pretty tired of this post trial run around we got going here. I think it’s about time for the execution. Any last words?”

“Fuck you MonoJoe, I’m totally not protagonist material, and I’m not as salty about being picked now that you know that this is bullshit. I hope you’re fucking satisfied with your warped justice MonoJoe.”

“Fucking ecstatic. Anyway I got an EXTREMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE execution for you Ray, I call it, ‘Mario Kart Death Race” MonoJoe said as he pulled out his Red button and mallet. “Game over: Ray Narvaez Jr.” he said as he slammed the mallet down on the button. “Hasta luego motherfucker”

Suddenly Ray was catapulted into a dark set. When the lights on the set rose, Ray was dressed in a Waluigi costume and strapped into a Go Kart. Then the kart started moving along the track.

“Well. I guess this is the end for me. I wish my death could have been something less ironic.” Ray said with a sigh as the kart moved quickly along the track. Ray glanced down at the screen on the steering wheel. Suddenly it began to flicker. “Huh?” then the screen turned on fully and AI Ryan appeared. “HOLY SHI-“Ray started before he was cut off.

“Ssssshhhhh. Keep quiet. Nobody can know I’m here.” AI Ryan said quietly.

“But holy shit you’re ok. How-“

“I’ll explain later. First I gotta focus on saving your ass.”

“Ok. If you have a plan I’m all ears.” Ray said as the kart zoomed into its second lap.

“Ok, there is a blue shell that’s going to detonate right before you finish your third lap. I’m going to get it to detonate prematurely and when it goes off I’m going you need you to jump down the warp pipe near the finish line.” AI Ryan finished.

“That’s fine and all, but I’m kinda-“Ray didn’t get to finish his sentence before AI Ryan had unlocked the straps holding Ray in the Kart. “Well that was anti-climactic.”

“shut your face and just be happy I got my shit on lock.” AI Ryan said. Ray looked up and could tell that he was reaching the end of his execution. “Well I guess its show time. See you on the other side.”

“if this works.”

“WHEN this works.” AI Ryan said as the screen shut off. Suddenly there was a loud explosion from behind. Ray was knocked out of the kart and sent flying into the air. He attempted to aim himself so he would land in the warp pipe.

“PARKOUR!”Ray screamed as he tumbled into the warp pipe and fell into the great unknown safety.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And that’s how I found myself falling into a garbage shoot while wearing a Waluigi costume._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close to the end
> 
>  
> 
> **EDIT: Everything from this point contains possible spoilers for Dangan Ronpa. So if you are currently or are thinking about playing, watching, and/or reading Dangan Ronpa, be warned. If you have no idea what Dangan Ronpa is or have not interest of associating with a PSVita game in any form, I congratulate you on making better life choices than Cicco and I.**


	23. Chapter 6 Part 1: Down the Garbage Shoot

_So yeah. Falling down the garbage shoot. That was a thing. It would be very easy for me to begin questioning what poor life choice I had made to get me to that point, but it was worth falling down into the garbage. There were some very interesting things to be found._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ray? RAY?! Are you alright? I did not just risk my life for nothing, right?”

Ray blinked slowly. He had passed out sometime during his fall into the garbage. ”What the fuck… WHAT THE FUCK?!” Ray gasped as he was faced by a smart phone carrying AI Ryan on it.

“Ok good you’re awake.” AI Ryan sighed in relief. Ray picked up the phone from his lap.

“I have so many questions.”

“I probably have answers.”

“Alright. Here’s one. Where the hell is Gus?”

“He should be around here somewhere.”

“And he’s alive?”

“Yep.” Ray got up, picked up the smart phone, and started yelling.

“GUS! I KNOW YOU’RE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE!” Ray yelled as he walked around in the garbage.

“God stop yelling I’m right here.” Gus said as he walked around the corner. ”Why are you dressed as Waluigi?”

“I’m dressed like Waluigi because MonoJoe dressed me up like this for my execution!” Ray said angrily.

“Who’d you kill?”

“You.”

“Wait what?”

“Yeah. And I have a question about that. Did you frame me?”

“What? Of course not!”

“And why did you fake your death anyway?”

“This was the only place without cameras I could think of. I couldn’t work on AI Ryan with all the cameras and I needed to get away from you guys. I had AI Ryan help me fake my death by turning on the incinerator after I poured fake ash around it. Then I jumped into the abyss. I just assumed MonoJoe would call it a suicide and let it be until I came back. Why the hell would you think I framed you anyway?”

“Then MonoJoe really did set me up then.”

“What?”

“He fabricated a shit ton of evidence to try and frame me. I mean it was all really poorly done but it was enough for me to be voted off.”

“Oh that makes sense I guess.”

“And what about you AI Ryan? How the hell are you still alive?” Ray asked the AI.

“Oh yeah… I should probably explain that. So when Chris was bashing my keys in I knew I had to get out of there. I knew leaving the laptop was risky but if I didn’t then I was doomed for sure. So I tried to jump. Turns out that there is Wi-Fi but since you would need to figure out what’s going on outside, pretty much every website ever is blocked. The achievement hunter floor is a Wi-Fi dead zone. Also MonoJoe doesn’t give a shit where I travel, which is really fucking weird. Anyway I jumped and moved to a smart phone hidden in Gus’s room and waited for him to find me which he did.” AI Ryan explained.

“So Chris didn’t need to die?”

“Wait? Chris is dead? Gus you didn’t tell me Chris is dead!”

“I figured you didn’t need to know. Besides, if MonoJoe still knew you were ok, then he probably used it as an excuse to kill Chris.” Gus said.

“That doesn’t make this any better! This is all my fault!”

“No it’s not AI Ryan. You’re fine. I’m getting real sick of this cat’s bullshit.” Ray said. Suddenly the trio heard the sound of someone falling. They raced over to the shoot exit.

“Ow! Fuck…” Monty said as he landed in a pile of garbage. Ray, Gus, and AI Ryan stared in awe. “Oh. There you guys are.” 

“Monty… what the fuck?” Ray asked

“I knew you were all still alive.” Monty said casually.

“What don’t you know?”

“You don’t know what we unlocked.” AI Ryan with a smile.

“Wait a minute. You cracked the passwords?!” Ray said in shock.

“You’d be surprised how productive you can be with a few hours of isolation in the garbage.” Gus said with a shrug.

“We were going to go back up to the surface and tell everyone at once. But… what we found doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. I’m glad you both are down here. Maybe you both can make sense of it.” AI Ryan said.

“Alright. Let’s see it.” Ray said.

And with that, AI Ryan’s screen shifted to that of a clip from RWBY. It was a scene of Ozpin fighting.

“What..?” Monty said, still staring at the screen.

“I didn’t know you animated an Ozpin fight scene.” Ray said.

“I didn’t. Or at least not yet. This wasn’t supposed to happen for a while. How is this already finished?”

Then the scene changed to a shot of Geoff in the achievement hunter office, their current one.

“What’s up everybody this is Geoff for Achievement Hunter and this is AHWU number? Wait what number are we on?” then Gavin’s voice came from the background.

“314, Geoffrey!”

“Holy fuck! Why are you people still watching this shit?”

“Wait. Gavin never got to see this Achievement Hunter office. And the last AHWU I remember making was somewhere in the 200s. Something’s not right here.” Ray said.

“Yeah no shit.” Gus said as he rolled his eyes. Suddenly AI Ryan’s screen shifted again. This time to a word document.

“What is this?” Monty asked

“I read it already. It’s a draft of a Lazer Team 2 script. I didn’t even know we were working on this.” Gus said.

AI Ryan shifted back to his normal screen. “There seems to be some inconsistencies with what you all remember and what information was stored in the system. Tell me real quick. When did you first come to the office?”

“About 2 months ago why?” Ray asked.

“This isn’t adding up.”

“What isn’t adding up?” Monty asked.

“Time isn’t.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Gus asked.

“Well there is one other thing I can tell you now that I know we aren’t being watched.” AI Ryan said.

“Well?” Ray asked.

“My creator wouldn’t tell me much about it, but a few years ago, something happened. I don’t know the details but people just turned against each other. I don’t know where it started but I know it had slower spread to various parts of the U.S. The government tried to cover whatever it was up but let information slip through. They didn’t want us to panic but in the end they ultimately failed. Matt and Burnie knew about whatever was going on and moved everyone out to this more secluded office. My creator knew about what was happening too and made me in case of an emergency.” AI Ryan said sadly.

“So there is some serious shit going on outside.” Monty said.

“So what? Even if there is we still have to get out of here!” Ray exclaimed.

“He’s right but how?” AI Ryan said.

“We’ll figure it out soon enough. But there are some other questions that need to be answered. Ones we seem to have been ignoring.” Monty said.

“Like what?” Gus asked.

“Well first off, who’s trapping us in here?” Ray opened his mouth to speak. “And I swear to god if you say MonoJoe I’m going to punch you in the throat.” Ray shut his mouth.

“You’re right. Why haven’t we been trying to figure out who’s trapping us?” Gus said.

“Maybe because we were too focused on trying to keep everyone alive that we didn’t even consider trying to look for who’s controlling MonoJoe.” Ray said.

“Well my guess is that it is probably someone who works at Rooster Teeth.” Monty said.

“Why couldn’t it be some crazy fan?” Gus asked

“I find it hard to believe any fans would have known about my existence.” AI Ryan said.

“Right. But does that mean that the mastermind is among us?” Ray asked.

“I don’t think the mastermind is one of the remaining six of us no.”

“But there are other employees that worked here that we don’t know the whereabouts of.” Gus said.

“For the time being, I’m going to count them out unless we find evidence suggesting otherwise.”

“Well what about Matt?” Ray asked.

“Huh?” AI Ryan said.

“Well, MonoJoe took Matt’s old job. What happened to him?”

“I don’t know.” Monty asked.

“I don’t think he’s behind this either.” AI Ryan added.

“Matt would never do something like this to us!” Gus said. “He’s a stupid prick but not an evil one.”

“Besides, he moved us here to protect us.”

“Protect us or trap us?” Monty said.

“I really don’t think he did it.” Gus said.

“Well. I have an idea then. Why don’t we dig around in here and see if we can find any other clues.” Monty said.

“But it smells like ass down here.” Gus complained.

“For me it’s not a problem of smell. But more of the fact that I don’t have any fucking arms.” AI Ryan said.

“Suck it up all of you.” Monty said as he walked to a corner and started digging.

“This is gross, but if it’s going to save us all in the end…” Ray trailed off as he picked another corner and began to dig as well.

“Well I’m not getting my hands dirty so fuck off.” Gus said.

After about a half an hour of digging, Ray found something interesting. He picked a dirty red Spartan helmet out of the pile of garbage. “Guys. I may have found something interesting.” He said as Monty and Gus walked over to him.

“A red Spartan helmet? Is that all. How is this interesting?” Gus asked. Ray shrugged as he turned the helmet over in his hands. Ray inhaled with his nose and immediately gagged.

“Gross! It smells like rust and death!” Ray exclaimed as he shoved the helmet into Monty’s arms. He looked at the inside on the helmet.

“Well the oxidized iron smell is probably from the dried blood this thing is caked in. also the whole thing is littered with bullet holes.”

“You think someone died while wearing that?” AI Ryan asked.

“It seems pretty likely.” Monty said as he continued to look in the helmet. Ray plugged his nose and glanced into the helmet as well.

“Hey, what’s that stuck in the dried blood.” Ray said as he pointed to an oddly textured area in the helmet. Monty shrugged and reached in to pull it out.

“Oh god that’s disgusting” Gus exclaimed.

“Shut up. This is basically an informal investigation now.” Monty said as pulled what was clearly a tuft of hair out of the helmet. “This is definitely the victim’s hair.”

“Who do you think that belongs to?” Ray asked, staring at the hair in Monty’s hand.

Monty paused for a minute. “Hey Gus. Do you recognize this hair?” He said as he held the hair out in Gus’s general direction.

“Gross why are you going to make me look at it?!”

“I think I might know who it belongs to. But I think you might be a better judge.”

“Stop being a bitch and just do it.” AI Ryan said, annoyed.

“Fine!” Gus said with a huff. He looked over the hair in Monty’s hands. “It’s short. Looks light brown. And really familiar. Wait you don’t think it’s…”

“Are you saying it’s Matt’s hair?” Ray asked.

“No. why? How did he manage to get himself killed? He wasn’t even here!”

“I’m not sure.” Monty said.

“Well, maybe he died in one of MonoJoe’s ironic showtime executions.” Ray suggested.

“I feel like we would have remembered that though.”

“Maybe not. AI Ryan showed us a bunch of things we don’t remember making. I think he’s right. Something is wrong and time isn’t adding up.”

“So clearly Matt isn’t behind this if he’s dead.” Monty said.

“So who does that leave?” Gus asked.

“I’m not sure. I think we’ve reached a dead end maybe.”

“Whoever’s doing this to us must have a real god complex.” AI Ryan said.

“I think it’s time we go back to the land of the living. I need a shower.” Ray said as he walked towards the latter.

“You’re right. The cast totally lacks diversity without us.” Monty said as he followed.

“Alright I have to put you in my pocket again.” Gus said to AI Ryan.

“Do what you must.” He replied as Gus put him into his pocket.

Ray stopped at the latter and turned to face Gus and Monty. “And as soon as we get up there. We tell them everything. The bullshit. Ends. NOW.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_So falling into the garbage wasn’t really a bad thing. We left with more questions than answers, but at least we knew we were finally asking the right questions. Everything was such a clusterfuck. But we could sort it out. It was absolutely possible._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously though. go to my tumblr and look at the abomination a friend made for me. 
> 
> http://rejectedusername-trashfics.tumblr.com/


	24. Chapter 6 Part 2: Where We Stand

_So the garbage shoot thing happened. After the four of us got back up to the surface, and showered, we met back up with everyone else. They were pretty shocked to see us all alive to say the least. After the surprise died down we managed to tell everyone what we found out when we were digging in the trash. I would tell what happened when we told them, but then I’d just basically be repeating myself. So I’m just going to skip that and go straight to the end here._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone sat in a circle on the podcast set.

“So in summary: some bad shit went down on the outside. Matt and Burnie moved us to this new office to protect us and keep us working. Ryan made AI Ryan for the same reason. Someone at the company got the drop on everyone, killed Matt, and forced everyone into this killing each other bullshit. Any questions?” Ray asked. Everyone was staring at him.

“So how are we supposed to figure out what happened on the outside?” Jack asked.

“I don’t know. But I don’t think that’s the most important thing right now.”

“I still don’t understand how you aren’t mad at us for sending you to your death.” Kerry said.

“Oh. I’m still very salty about that. Not so much at you guys because you all were scared. But more so at MonoJoe for setting me up.”

“Ok but back to the whole outside thing. Why does that part not matter?” Lindsay asked.

“I think it’s more important to figure out who’s behind this first. Then I believe the rest of the answers will follow.” Monty answered this time.

“So what you’re saying is that we have to ask the right questions?” Kerry asked.

“Exactly.” Ray replied.

“I think I get it. We’ve been too busy trying to just survive that we didn’t even think to question who’s doing this to us.” Jack said.

“It sucks that we are just figuring this out now.” Lindsay said sadly.

“Honestly. I’m not sure it would have made a difference in the long run. For the most part, we didn’t even know where to look.” Gus said.

“You all were so preoccupied with retaining a sense of normality that it never crossed your minds. You were all trying to cope with this like that. Nobody could ever blame you for that.” AI Ryan added.

“But it’s just like, we’ve been in here for so long. And nothing makes sense.” Lindsay said.

“It’s clear that our situation is way more convoluted than we thought.” Ray said.

“But why would someone ever put their friends through this. This is just so fucking horrendous!”

“Clearly someone was not who they say they are.”

“So what? Do you think the mastermind is one of us?” Jack asked.

“I honestly doubt it.” Monty said. “This isn’t going to be one of those let’s point out fingers at everyone else and do a witch hunt’ sort of deal. We have to really think about this seriously”

“How do you know it isn’t one of us though?” Kerry asked.

“Are you confessing?” Gus asked.

“Hell no! I’m just curious since we’re the only ones left alive.”

“Actually we have a few options.” Monty said.

“And they are?” Jack asked.

“Well, it could be someone who worked here that wasn’t trapped in here with us, or it could be someone who faked their death.” Ray said.

“But wouldn’t it be hard for someone to fake their death?” Kerry asked. Gus cleared his throat. “Ok, never mind I see you’re point.”

“Is there anyone we can rule out though?” Jack asked.

“I think I might be safe to rule out anyone who wasn’t killed by MonoJoe. So I doubt our mastermind is either Ryan, Geoff, Burnie, or Caleb.” Monty said.

“I guess that leaves Barbara, Gavin, Michael, Miles, and Chris.”

“You don’t really think any of them were behind it do you?” Lindsay said.

“I don’t want to believe that honestly. I promise. But it’s a place to start.” Ray said.

“This honestly sucks.” Kerry said.

“Trust me. I know.” 

“So now that we have our starting point where do we go from here?” Jack asked.

“I still have no idea.”

“Wait so we’ve hit a dead end.” Jack asked.

“I wouldn’t call it a dead end, really. I just think we need to look for more clues. You know, see if there was anything that we totally missed over the course of our stay that could give us a hint as to who did the thing.”

“And what if it turns out to be someone who wasn’t trapped in here with us?” Gus asked.

“I think we should cross that bridge when we get there.” AI Ryan said.

“And why did we have this conversation out in the open? I thought you were trying to hide what you knew from MonoJoe?” Lindsay said.

“This time, I want him to know we’re on to something. I want him to know that we’re going to find out who’s been pulling the strings. We might not know everything but we know enough to put ourselves on the right track.” Ray turned towards the nearest security camera. “YOU HEAR THAT CAT. WE’RE FUCKING COMING FOR YOU!” Ray then proceeded to flip the camera off with both hands.

“Alright Ray calm your tits. I think they get the point.” AI Ryan said.

“Ok so what now then?” Kerry asked.

“There is one place we’ve never actually looked for evidence.” Gus said.

“His office?” Lindsay said.

“Exactly. I mean I know there is the elevator but what about the area around it. The waiting area. We’ve only gone in there for trials. And I mean. It is his office and there aren’t any rules against exploring it.” Gus continued.

“I never really liked the idea of going in there. It reminds me of death.” Kerry said.

“Yeah no shit.” Monty said.

“Gus is right anyway. We haven’t ever snooped around in there and maybe it’s about damn time we did.” Ray said as he got up.

“Wait are we breaking up into groups?” Jack asked.

“No. we go together from now on.” Ray said as he walked out the door. Monty, Gus, Lindsay, Jack and Kerry followed behind. Once they got to the first floor. They began to walk towards the office.

“Now I’ve also been wondering if anyone who died was acting strangely before they died.” Monty asked.

“Actually now that I think about it, there was someone who was acting strange. It wasn’t like a scary strange. It was just they were acting out of character.” Kerry said.

“Who was it?”

“It was-“

“Oh gross who dropped their ice cream on the floor?” Ray said as he pointed to the puddle of melted ice cream in the middle of the floor.

“Not it.” Everyone said collectively.

“You think MonoJoe was getting a snack?” AI Ryan asked.

“I’m not sure. Maybe?” Lindsay said.

The group took a few more steps down the hall only to find something else.

“Ok who writes messages on the wall in melted ice cream?” Jack asked. 

“It says, ‘No dreams for you’. I know I’ve heard that before.” Ray said.

“Well nobody here says that.” Monty said.

“Come on we’re almost at that office.” Jack said as they continued to walk.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to answer your question Monty. The person who was acting out of character was-” Kerry was interrupted by the sound of Ray opening the door to the office. The six of them plus AI Ryan shuffled into the office to find a surprising sight.

Propped up against the wall was the body of Kara Eberle. Her eyes were glazed over and it looked like her throat had been slit. There was a knife that was sitting right next to her.

“What… the actual fuck?!” Ray said.

“Out of all the things I was expecting to find in here, this was definitely not one of them.” Monty said.

“Kara no!” Lindsay said.

“She doesn’t even go here.” Kerry said.

“Ah-hem, a body has been discovered. After a period of time-” MonoJoe started.

“WE GET IT!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And now we had another dead body on our hands. One that we weren’t expecting to have. But there was something fishy up with this one. And we were about to figure it out._


	25. Chapter 6 Part 3: Investig-You Already Know Where This is Going

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last four chapters are the ones that never made it up here in the original posting. Enjoy.

_I’m sure you get that we were all confused. But you know what? I don’t think my additional narration is really adding anything this close to the end. So I’m just going to finish the damn story. I’m sick of reliving it again._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting next to Kara’s body was MonoJoe who appeared to be lying on the ground.

“Hey you sack of shit, where’s the MonoJoe file?” Ray shouted at him.

MonoJoe didn’t respond. Jack lightly kicked the body, but there was no response.

“Guys, I don’t mean to jump to conclusions, but I think Kara might’ve been the mastermind.” Gus said.

“But we just heard the body discovery announcement. The Mastermind had to have done it.” Kerry protested.

“There could be something set up to make the announcement happen automatically. It wouldn’t be the stupidest thing that has happened in here.”

“But who on Earth could’ve done it?” Lindsay questioned. “I mean, why would she have been out in the open in the first place?”

“It doesn’t quite make sense, but there’s no denying that it does seem like it might be the case.” Monty replied.

“So if Kara was the mastermind, but she’s dead now, and we are all still alive, is there even a trial?”

“What I wanna know is, where’s the caveman?” MonoJoe shouted as he sprang back to life.

Everyone screamed and jumped at this.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” MonoJoe apologized sarcastically. “May I offer you an egg in these troubling times?”

“Goddammit, you’re still here.” Lindsay pouted.

“Yeah, but not quite the same way as before. You see, Gus is right, Kara was the true mastermind, but unfortunately she was killed. Now, you guys have to find out who killed her.”

“But if she was the mastermind, how are you still here?” Jack asked.

“The same way Ryan is still around. Artistic Intel processors.”

“I think you mean artificial intelligence, dumbass.” Gus replied.

“Whatever ass hat. Now, the more pressing matter. It’s time for a trial!”

“So are you gunna give us a MonoJoe file now?” Ray asked.

“Nope. The trial is going to start right now. So make your way over to the elevator.”

Ray was about to protest, but he knew it be pointless. Then he noticed that Monty had been looking at the body the whole time MonoJoe was talking. They all went to the elevator. When they got to the courtroom they prepared for what would be the hardest trial but also the last trial.


	26. Chapter 6 Part 4: Who Killed Kara and Who Ruined Everything

Trial # 6 THE LAST FUCKING ONE

Evidence

Employee Victims-Ryan, Geoff, Burnie, and Caleb were all victims of other employees and have been examined by Monty

MonoJoe Victims-Barbara, Gavin, Michael, Miles, and Chris were all killed by MonoJoe

AI Ryan-Has been able to travel through the office’s Wi-Fi, seemingly unnoticed and was even able to stop an execution

Laptop information-Videos found on AI Ryan and some minor information of what Ryan knew was happening beforehand

MonoJoe: Let’s begin with a basic explanation of the office trial. So, your votes will determine the results. If you can figure out “whodunnit” then only they will receive punishment. But if you pick the wrong one… Then I’ll punish everyone besides the team killing fucktard, and the one that deceived everyone else will retire!

Ray: We are gunna find the real killer, and get out of here! We aren’t going to succumb to your shit anymore!

MonoJoe: Hehehe, I can’t wait!

Monty: We know you aren’t on AI controls MonoJoe. We aren’t stupid.

MonoJoe: I beg to differ.

Lindsay: Shut up, you are the worst cat.

MonoJoe: Well, can you prove I’m not being controlled by AI?

_Yeah, I can asshole!_

Ray: If you are so great with technology how come you let AI Ryan roam through the office all he wanted?

MonoJoe: Maybe I didn’t care?

Ray: He stopped an execution, I doubt you would have let him go that far. If Kara had enough smarts to make your AI then she probably could have just deleted AI Ryan from the system.

MonoJoe: While there are some flaws with that, I will let it all slide for now. Okay, I admit it, there’s someone still controlling me. But who could it be? Ooooooooooooo! Mystery!

Kerry: I’ve been thinking about it…

MonoJoe: Shut up! We know you don’t have any idea.

Kerry: Your mom doesn’t have any ideas.

MonoJoe: You reeeally cut deep with that one.

Kerry: Fuck off.

MonoJoe: Alright, shut up. Now tell me who killed the mastermind.

Monty: I’m not really convinced Kara was the mastermind.

MonoJoe: But I just told you assholes she was the mastermind.

Ray: But you’ve said it before, everything you do is bullshit. How are we supposed to believe this isn’t bullshit?

MonoJoe: If that’s how you wanna be. Go ahead and ignore all of my hints, just like in the last trial.

Ray: But everything you said in that trial was utter bullshit. Gus isn’t dead, and I didn’t kill him.

MonoJoe: Details.

Monty: But I do have some evidence to support that Kara isn’t the mastermind.

MonoJoe: I think you’re wrong, but I technically have to be fair and let you talk.

Kerry: What about letting me talk?

MonoJoe: Shut up Kerry!

Monty: I looked at the body and I don’t think Kara was killed any time recently. The body looks like it isn’t freshly dead.

Jack: What do you mean by that? It was had blood on it.

Monty: Yes, but it was not nearly the amount of blood that should have been there. The throat was split, a good amount of blood should have pumped out, but the blood we saw wasn’t fresh. I do think the killer cut her throat, but I don’t think that she died any time recently.

MonoJoe: So how does this prove she wasn’t the mastermind?

Monty: I don’t think the mastermind would have been able to carry out their plan if they’d been dead for most of it. In fact, since none of us knew Kara was even here, the killer is probably the mastermind.

MonoJoe: So you think the guilty party is little old me?

Jack: I mean, you’ve basically been the true guilty one for all of these cases, asshole.

MonoJoe: I mean, you aren’t wrong there.

Monty: Having been dead for a while, she couldn’t have done it, but rather you killed her and did all of this.

MonoJoe: Well, if it wasn’t her, than who am I? Who is responsible for trapping everyone? It could be anyone!

Gus: Not anyone. It was probably someone we saw in here.

MonoJoe: Even more exciting. Somebody looked all of you in the eyes and lied about being in charge of all this. This trial is becoming so heart pumpingly exciting. My dick is rock hard from all of this excitement.

Lindsay: Can you not?

MonoJoe: Sorry, I thought you guys wanted me to tell the truth.

Lindsay: Not like that.

Kerry: Nobody wants to hear anything about your weird barbed cat penis.

MonoJoe: Well if you want to stop hearing about my penis, then start finding out who did it. It could be anyone!

_Not quite!_

Ray: No, it couldn’t have been any of the people who were victims of the employees. Monty thoroughly checked out all the bodies and they were definitely dead. And it couldn’t be one of us because obviously none of us are controlling you right now.

MonoJoe: Very perceptive. You want a cookie?

Ray: No, I want to get out here.

MonoJoe: Boo, you selfish prick!

Gus: The real mastermind is probably someone you pretended to kill, but in actuality they’re still alive.

MonoJoe: Alright, look at the deaths so far and tell me which one isn’t real. Did I fake Barbara’s death?

Jack: No, we saw her killed right on the spot.

MonoJoe: Is Gavin really dead, or did I fake his death?

Gus: No, we saw him get blown up.

MonoJoe: The mastermind is obviously Michael, right?

Lindsay: YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!

Ray: Calm down Lindsay, Michael is dead. We saw his death too.

MonoJoe: It’s Miles, I mean come on, the dude was crazy.

Kerry: No we definitely saw him die too…

MonoJoe: So it’s Chris. Chris did it all.

Gus: No, we even saw him die. And he’s too stupid to have been the mastermind anyway.

MonoJoe: Hmmmm. All of those deaths were real. I guess you have nothing.

Monty: All of those deaths were real, but I think that’s where the problem with Kara’s body comes in.

MonoJoe: Huh, what do you mean?

Monty: Yeah, I noticed something while looking at the body that reminded me of someone who died. I think Kerry might have some idea of what I’m thinking.

Kerry: Yeah, I was saying earlier that someone was acting weird. Someone not quite acting like themselves before they died.

MonoJoe: Kerry shut up. The pregnancy is just making you stupid.

Lindsay: Pregnancy doesn’t work that way!

MonoJoe: Is there something you’d like to share with the class, Lindsay?

Lindsay: No, shut the hell up. I don’t like what you’re insinuating.

MonoJoe: It’s just a joke. Don’t be a baby!

Kerry: Goddammit…Barb!

Gus: Wait, what did you just say?

Kerry: I said goddammit Barb.

Jack: Wait, you aren’t saying that Barbara is the mastermind?

Kerry: Actually, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Have anything to say about that MonoJoe?

MonoJoe: …

Ray: It all makes sense! Monty, want to fill everyone in?

Monty: If MonoJoe isn’t going to.

MonoJoe: …

Monty: I thought so. See, while looking at the body, I realized there was no way, Kara was killed by having her throat slit. But looking closer at the body I saw a lot cuts on the inside of her clothes. Cuts that were probably caused by an explosion that happened in front of the victim. One person was killed by an explosion like that. Barbara. Or at least, we thought it was Barbara.

Gus: I guess that makes sense. Kara was a makeup wiz, so she probably could have made herself look like Barbara. And Barbara has changed the way she’s looked plenty of times so any inconsistencies could have been easily excused.

Kerry: Yeah, and that’s where I was going with thinking Barbara was acting slightly different. Kara could copy her appearance all she wanted, but it’s harder to copy her personality.

Ray: She wasn’t making any puns. Kara knew how shitty puns were and didn’t make them. No riddles either, which are the higher form of pun.

Jack: Wanna say anything about this MonoJoe?

MonoJoe: …..

Gus: Your silence is only confirming our assumptions.

MonoJoe: ………

Monty: We have you cornered. Just give up.

MonoJoe: ………………..

Ray: Come on Barbara, it’s pointless to fight it at this point!

MonoJoe: ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

MeowmumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumuhahahahahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

>The lights began flickering and soon standing in MonoJoe’s place was Barbara Dunkleman.

Barbara: You called for me, so I appeared!

Lindsay: Barbara? What the fuck!

Ray: Now that we’ve caught you, are you going to tell us what’s going on?

Barbara: Naw, I think I’ll be cryptic as hell. What fun would it be if I just told you everything straight out?

Gus: It’s not fun no matter what!

Barbara: You kill joys!

Jack: You are literally a killer of joy! You killed us and took away our joy. Why’d you do it? So you could get off on this shit?

Barbara: Well, you aren’t wrong, but it’s a little more complicated than just that.

Monty: Well we can figure out complicated things. We aren’t that stupid.

Barbara: Once again I beg to differ, but I’ll still give you a chance.

Gus: Well we’re about at the end of our rope so you better start talking.

Barbara: Alright then. Time to be as cryptic as the original Legend of Zelda.

Ray: Dear god, not that cryptic.

Barbara: Okay I won’t be that cryptic. But first how about you take out that last member we need for the trial. We need all the players!

Kerry: All the players?

>All of a sudden a muffled screaming came from Gus’s back pocket. Gus pulled out the iPhone with AI Ryan on it.

AI Ryan: How dare you forget me!!!

Kerry: Sorry!

Gus: I didn’t forget about you, I just didn’t think we’d need you so I put you away for safe keeping. I didn’t want Barbara to destroy you or something.

Barbara: Why would I destroy him? He’s basically the MVP.

Gus: Because you’re an asshole!

Barbara: Not wrong. But now let’s put him in a special place.

>Barbara went and grabbed AI Ryan and tapped him onto Ryan’s faceplate.

Gus: Is that duct tape? You’re gunna ruin the phone!

Barbara: I wasn’t lying when I said I was on a budget.

AI Ryan: This feels really offensive.

Barbara: The real Ryan’s dead so I don’t think he’s gunna do anything about it.

Ray: Why you gotta be so rude?

Barbara: Don’t you know I’m human too.

Gus: You seem more like a demon than a human now.

Monty: Enough bickering. Now just start explaining shit Barbara.

Barbara: Okay, but how about this? If you guys can figure out from my cryptic clues why you’re in here, and still decide to execute me, I’ll let you guys out. And if you can’t figure things out, or decide not to execute me, then you can stay trapped in here for 5ever (that means one more than 4ever).

Ray: Well we don’t have much of a choice now do we?

Barbara: Alright then let’s do this. So tell me something, how long have you guys been at this office?

Kerry: About 2 and a half months? I think.

Barbara: Are you sure? Are you reeeeeeeally sure? Is that your final answer?

Kerry: I think it’s been 2 and half months…

_Well it hasn’t!_

Ray: I can’t tell you exactly how long it’s been, but it’s been way longer than that. Tell ‘em what you found AI Ryan.

AI Ryan: I found an Ozpin fight sequence which Monty hadn’t made yet, AHWU #314 in the current AH office, which makes no sense especially since Gavin wasn’t there even when we unlocked it, and a script for Lazer team 2, which Gus says they weren’t working on yet.

Barbara: Good jorb.

Ray: Don’t you mean good job?

Barbara: No.

Jack: How come we don’t remember it then?

Monty: Did you erase our memories?

Barbara: Yes indeedy!

Monty: But how’d you do it?

Barbara: Junko didn’t explain it so neither will I.

Ray: Who the fuck is Junko?

Barbara: Not important right now. She’s dead anyway. But you’re right, it’s been quite a while since RT moved to this office. We’ve made tons of content since then. But why’d we stop?

Gus: It probably has something to do with the information about why we moved here in the first place. AI Ryan said that he knew there was some horrible event going on.

Barbara: Ah yes. That seems like an interesting topic. What event made you guys move here?

Gus: Well we kind of don’t have any information for that.

Barbara: Well then I guess you’re boned.

Jack: Kerry, you were able to figure out it was Barbara, maybe you can tell us what happened?

Kerry: Sorry guys, I only get one epiphany per trial.

Lindsay: Kerry are you really that useless?

Kerry: Yep, that’s right. I’m useless!

Barbara: You want to use a lifeline?

Ray: Please!

Barbara: Well too bad because everything is fucked from the event!

AI Ryan: Yes, that’s what we’re trying to figure out.

Barbara: Exactly. Everything on the outside is fucked because the biggest, most awful, most tragic event in all of human history. The event that plunged the whole world into utter despair. Just talking about it is getting my lady boner hard!

Lindsay: Again with this shit?

Barbara: You’ve dealt with my bullshit for years, what else is new.

Gus: Well come on, you’ve gotta tell us.

Barbara: I can’t just tell you, you have to tell us.

Ray: Wait, I have an idea. Barbara, if you don’t tell us what happened, it would be a tragedy.

Barbara: Hahaha, I love it. Okay, I’ll tell you guys.

Ray: Can I have some booze to wash out the taste of that pun.

Jack: I thought you didn’t drink.

Ray: After this shit I’m considering starting.

Barbara: Well you see, all of it started a couple of years ago in Japan.

Kerry: I love Japanese shit.

Barbara: Then you’re gunna love this. See it all started with a bunch of murders.

Kerry: I don’t like it.

Barbara: See it was a pandemic that started. And the disease was desbear!

Gus: I get the pun on despair, but what do bears have to do with it?

Barbara: Oh right, you guys had a cat. Despuur.

Jack: Boo!

Gus: That doesn’t explain the bears.

Barbara: Well let me show you the bears.

>Suddenly a screen came down behind Barbara and a bunch of images began flashing. Images of world monuments with a bear head similar to the design of MonoJoe. Images of people rioting and break things with masks of the same head. Then there was an image of a giant robot version of the bear destroying a building.

Lindsay: What the hell is this?

Barbara: This is what the outside world looks like. The event was all headed by a Japanese school girl and the whole world was plunged into despair. And this bear was her mascot, but for our game I edited it a little and made it a cat. You know, the Persona 5 route.

Kerry: Persona 5 hasn’t been released.

Barbara: Actually it has. And it’s great. But you’ll never get to play it now!

Kerry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Monty: Kerry, cut the weeb shit, this is serious.

Barbara: No, don’t cut it out, I looooooove this despair.

AI Ryan: If it was that easy to make them fall into despair, why would you make them kill each other?

Barbara: You should know the answer already.

AI Ryan: No, I don’t. That’s why I’m asking.

Barbara: Ha, playing stupid. I love it! But we already have Kerry for that so I don’t get why you’re doing it. But hey, you guys wanna take a look at my browsing history?

Everyone: DEAR GOD, NO!

AI Ryan: I just looked it up.

Barbara: I hope you aren’t that quick in the bedroom.

AI Ryan: I’m a computer. I don’t have genitals.

Barbara: I saw the way you looked at that Xbox. You dirty slut.

AI Ryan: My sexual history is not important. What is important is this thing titled school life of mutual killing.

Kerry: School life of mutual killing sounds awfully close to office life of mutual killing. See, I’m still useful!

Lindsay: I’m pretty sure we all connected that.

Gus: This school life of mutual killing thing, what exactly is it?

Barbara: You tell me.

Ray: Well I imagine it’s probably the same thing as ours, but in a school.

Barbara: Yep. You’re right. You want that cookie now.

Ray: Sure, if you aren’t gunna just let us out.

Barbara: Well too bad! There is no cookie! There is no spoon!

AI Ryan: This is not the time for matrix references.

Ray: Was that supposed to cause more despair?

Barbara: Did it work?

Ray: No.

Barbara: Then no. It totally was not an attempt at that. Totally.

Monty: Well you searched this school life of mutual killing. But why did you try to recreate it?

Barbara: I already told you guys. What is it I wanted to cause in you all?

Monty: Despair?

Barbara: Yes yes yes! I saw the whole school life of mutual killing, which was the cherry on top of the most despair inducing event ever. Not only did it cause despair for the students involved, but it was televised so all the people in world could see it. People even came to try and stop it and were killed in the process. It ignited despair in so many people, and I was one of them. And so was Kara. We both decided to recreate it.

Jack: Wait, so you killed your own accomplice?

Barbara: Yeah. I needed to throw you off. I told Kara I wanted her to disguise as me so none of you would suspect a thing. But once the game started you all thought it was a joke. I needed to kill someone to prove that this was all serious. And who better to kill than my own accomplice. Not only did it plant the seeds of despair, but it also prevented Kara from even having a chance to question the plan.

Lindsay: That’s sick.

Barbara: Well I did say despair was a disease, so I’ll take that as a pun.

Lindsay: First of all how dare you.

Barbara: But you wanna hear some really fucked up shit? You guys are even more similar to the school life of mutual killing than you think.

Jack: What do you mean?

Barbara: Well the school was called Hope’s Peak Academy. All the students in there were some of the brightest kids in the world. When the event started they were going to be the shining beacons of hope for the world. They would stay inside the school and inspire the world with hope. This idea inspired Burnie and Matt. They decided we would do the same thing. They would have the Rooster Teeth employees stay inside the office and keep creating content. We were going to be American shining beacons of hope. Buuuuuuut both of these were ruined and turned into centers of despair.

Gus: Wait, so all those cameras that were around the office…

Barbara: All used to stream every little thing that happened. I was streaming the whole thing from the RT twitch channel.

Ray: No way…

Barbara: Who knew your precious twitch account would turn into something so horrific. Well I did. And Kara. Maybe some others.

Gus: Where are the other employees?

Barbara: Around. Not important right now. What is important is that everyone saw everything. Everyone saw your husband beat Geoff to death, Lindsay. Everyone saw Miles take away Burnie’s breath. Everyone saw AI Ryan’s creator plummet to his death. Every last horrible thing has been seen by RT community.

Lindsay: YOU FUCKING MONSTER! I SHOULD KILL YOU MYSELF!

Monty: On that matter, we still have the matter of the execution. We found that you’re the killer and now we know what has happened. So are you going to execute yourself?

Barbara: Monty you silly nilly. You know how these trial work. It’s all up to a vote. But you might not want to vote for me…

Monty: What do you mean?

Barbara: Well what happens if I die? Will you be able to survive? I mean what’s it going to be like outside? Do you think the horrible event is over? Spoiler alert, it’s not.

Kerry: Tag your spoilers.

Jack: Well if the outside is that bad, we can just stay in here. I mean it’s been safe in here, minus the murders.

Barbara: Do you really think you’ll all get to stay in here if I die. An air purifier was donated to me for my cause so I could keep you all breathing clean air, but you won’t be able to breathe in here, because if I die, it goes off. You’ll be forced to leave if I die.

Ray: But if we don’t vote for you we’re all gunna get executed.

Barbara: Not this time. I have a special offer for you guys. If you let me you can all stay alive and well in here. But I still need to punish someone, so I think I’ll finish the job with Ray: Since his execution was rudely interrupted last time.

AI Ryan: I apologize for nothing.

Barbara: I still don’t quite understand why you’re acting this way. You know, considering the fact that you’re on my side.

AI Ryan: I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I was created to help keep hope alive. Not spread despair.

Barbara: I see what you’re doing. Using backwards tactics to keep me feeling all the despair. I fucking love it.

AI Ryan: Don’t twist my words to satisfy your desires. Fuck you. If you try to kill him again I will stop.

Barbara: Well I’ll have no problems with deleting you this time.

AI Ryan: Shit.

Ray: Are you fucking with me?

Barbara: No I am not…effing with you.

AI Ryan: You could’ve said fuck, but you didn’t because you’re a pussy.

Barbara: Wanna say the shit to my face?

Ray: But you can’t expect any of us to vote to keep you alive.

Barbara: Yes, but if even one of you votes for it, I’ll still kill you and leave everyone else alive.

Ray: I still say no one here will vote for that. Right guys?

Everyone: …

Ray: Guys come on!

Barbara: See, they’re not stupid. They know none of you will survive on the outside.

Kerry: …

Ray: Kerry you’ve been able to stay alive in here, even when all the cards were stacked against you. You have to have hope that everything will be okay on the outside too. I know you can do it.

Kerry: Yeah, you’re right. I have stupidity immunity. If I can make it in here, I can make it anywhere!

Barbara: You’ll all die out there. There’s no one waiting for you, nobody will help you. No one even knows where this office is!

Jack: …

Ray: Jack, you’ve always been the happiest ball of sunshine. You know that everything will turn out okay, it always has. You just have to have hope.

Jack: How could I have even doubted for a second that things wouldn’t be alright? I’m with you Ray.

Barbara: Everything’s already fucked. You’ll just be even more fucked if you go out there.

Lindsay: …

Ray: Would Michael have wanted you to just give up? Or would he have wanted you to rise above the person responsible for this shit? You’re strong Lindsay and I know you know what’s right.

Lindsay: Yeah, fuck you Barbara. I’m not just gunna go survive for Michael, I’m gunna survive for me too.

Barbara: Oh please, none of you are going to survive a day, let alone the rest of your lives.

Gus: …

Ray: Gus, come on. You know that we don’t have to give in. We don’t even know if the shit she said is true.

Gus: Eh, my plan was to die at 40 anyway. I’m not gunna give in.

Barbara: You’re all morons. Hell, even I ended the killing game I bet you’d all kill each other anyway.

Monty: …

Ray: Monty…

Monty: You don’t need to say anything. I was gunna vote to kill her anyway. Let’s all do this.

Ray: Yeah, everybody let’s do this. Barbara, I hope you know what’s gunna happen!

Barbara: ………….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Trial End**

Everyone stared at Barbara with disgust. “You did it everyone one! You beat me” She said with a grin.

“Yeah it’s over Barb.” Ray said.

“I don’t understand how you could turn your back on all of us like this? We’ve all been friends for years. And then you pull this shit. For what? Some sick fetish you suddenly developed!?” Monty said angrily.

“I told you already. Despair is a disease. I was one of the many infected. You all did nothing to help me! That just made it grow.” Barbara spat.

“And how the hell were we supposed to know that?” Gus asked.

“I kept it my burden to keep it going.”

“That sounds like a personal problem.” Kerry said.

“Nobody could have helped you if you weren’t willing to help yourself, Barbara.” Jack said sadly.

“It wasn’t about that by the time I started planning all of this. It was just about murder!” Barbara replied.

“And how long was this in the works?” Ray asked.

“Well there are a few answers. We’ve been in this office for about a year not counting the two and a half months it took you to get your shit together. As for my plan, it took about eight or so months to gather all of the resources and backers it needed to pull all of this off.”

“Wait, you mean people wanted you to do this?”

“Of course. God, open your ears Ray. Despair is a disease. I wasn’t the only one infected or the only one who wanted to see hope crushed.”

“Well you failed at crushing hope.”

“Did I really though?”

“YES!” everyone yelled collectively.

“Well once you meet the outside world you’ll totally fall into despair.”

“I honestly doubt that.” Monty said.

“Welp. Anyway I guess it’s time for me to go now.” Barbara said cheerfully.

“You’re not afraid of dying?” Gus asked

“Of course not! Losing my own game and being forced to kill myself is the most despairing thing that has ever happened to me. The despair… it’s just… so… hmmmmmmmmm.”

“Gross. Stop jizzing yourself!” AI Ryan said.

“As good at it feels, I have a super awesome way to go out. You might even say it’s the ‘Ultimate PUNishment’!”

“Goddammit Barb!” Jack yelled.

Barbara pulled out the familiar red button for the last time. “I’m going to give it everything I got! Oh and one last thing.”

“What?” Monty asked.

“You know how back for my second motive, I told you that your families were all dead?”

“Yeah…” Ray said.

“I totally lied about that!”

“…What?” Lindsay whispered.

“Yep. Complete bullshit. Griffon, Caiti, Meg, Ashley, etc. All still alive last time I checked. Which was right before we started the trial. I wanted them nice and alive so I could drop this drama bomb on you in case I lost. God I can’t believe you all fell for that shit! The looks on all your faces were amazing!”

“You… FUCKING…. BITCH!” Lindsay said as she ran over to Barbara and punched her square in the jaw.

“Lindsay, can we not drag this out anymore?” Ray asked.

“Right.” Lindsay took a deep breath and took the red button away from Barbara. “Game over: Barbara Dunkelman” She said as she slammed her fist down on the button.

Then the fun started. Barbara was first was dragged away to a log cabin similar to the one in Gavin’s execution. Suddenly, lavas started pouring into the house. Barbara stood still as the lava stated to pool at her feet; allowing it to burn her. Then the house exploded and Barbara was launched onto an orange square. She was quickly locked into place and the square started to bounce along until it reached the infamous triple spikes. As soon as it hit the spikes, Barbara was released from the square and was moved to a dark set. The set quickly lit up to reveal a replica of the New Republic base. Standing in the center of the base was Barbara dressed up as Lt. Katie Jensen. Suddenly she became surrounded by soldiers from the Federal Army of Chorus. They began to shoot at her until one of them threw a grenade. The grenade went off and catapulted Barbara into a new set. This set was of the night club from the Yellow Trailer. As soon as Barbara stood up, rockets began firing at her. Each rocket knocked off a piece of her armor to reveal her Yang costume underneath. Then one final rocket blew her into the lord of the rings set that has previously crushed Chris. The walls began to close in on her and she waited patiently for them. The walls closed in on her and she dropped through a trap door at her feet. Into another dark set. The lights rose on the set to reveal a Mario Kart Track and Barbara strapped into a pink go kart, dressed as Princess Peach. The kart zoomed quickly across the track. A blue shell was trailing behind her. “See you all in hell!” Barbara said with a laugh as the blue shell caught up to her kart and exploded. The kart began to spin out of control and in the direction of a fiery pit waiting for her. The pit was also filled with BARBed wire just to add some pun to it. As she and the kart fell in, she smiled one last time before she was completely engulfed by the flames. 

Everyone sighed in relief.

It was finally over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah... this isn't just an Dangan Ronpa AU. It's a crossover. Thanks for keeping up with this so far. After this is just the epilogue. Thanks for reading.


	27. Epilogue Part 1: All That Remains

“So now what?” Kerry asked.

“I think it’s time for us to go.” Jack said.

“But aren’t you worried about the outside world?” Lindsay asked.

“Yeah, but it’s not like we can stay here any longer.” Gus said.

“You’re right. I’m not sure how long we can actually stay here before we can’t breathe.” Monty said.

“So we better vacate quickly. Maybe we should gather some supplies before we go. We still have some food and water right? We should pack some stuff.” Ray said.

“Good idea.” Gus said. He exited the court room with Jack, Lindsay, and Kerry following close behind. Ray went to exit too but Monty held him back.

“What now? We did it. We won. But now we have to go.” Ray said.

“I’ve been thinking about the titles Barbara gave us in the beginning.” Monty said.

“Yeah what about them?”

“I think she got yours wrong.”

“I dunno man. My Gamerscore is probably one of the best in the office.”

“While that may be true. I think at this point, ‘Ultimate Hope’ might be more fitting.”

“Hope huh. Yeah. It’s one hell of a thing ain’t it? If Matt and Burnie wanted us to give hope to those struggling on the outside during whatever tragedy Barbara was talking about, then fuck, that’s what we should do. It’s our job you know.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Monty said with a smile.

“Yeah.” Ray said. He gave Monty a quick hug. “Come on. Let’s go get our shit together so we can finally get the fuck out of here.”

“Took you long enough.” Monty said as he and Ray exited the court room.

After a little while of gathering their things, everybody had made it to the front of the office.

“So I guess this is it then. We’re finally free.” Lindsay said.

“Yeah. I never thought I’d say this but I’m excited to see sunlight again.” Gus said.

“Same.” Kerry agreed.

“I know the first thing I’m going to do is go looking for Caiti. I know I’m going to see her again. I’ve missed her so much.”

“And remember, no matter what happens out there, Rooster Teeth is a family. Noting can take that away from us.” Ray said.

“I guess it’s time to move forward.” Monty said.

“Wait. One last thing. Gus can you get AI Ryan for a sec?”

“Sure.” Gus said as he pulled out the phone.

“What’s up Ray?” AI Ryan asked.

“Do you know if the stream cut when Barbara died?”

“I can check.” AI Ryan’s screen flashed black. After about a minute he reappeared. “They seem to be still running. I can cut the stream if you’d like.”

“Not yet. We gotta end this shit properly.” Ray turned to face the closest camera. “Hey everyone. Sorry you had to see all of this shit. It must have been terrible to watch. Was even worse living it. But we’re here now. We may have some bumps and bruises but we made it out alive and that’s what really matters. I know you all saw some of the people who inspired you die. But that doesn’t mean you let it get to you. You mourn and you remember them fondly. That’s what I plan on. I can only guess the shitty situation going on outside these walls. But you can’t lose hope. If you want things to get better, go out there and make them better. That’s about all I have to say.”

“On behalf of Rooster Teeth and all that’s left of it, we’d like to thank you for rooting for us. This is Jack Pattillo from Rooster Teeth,”

“Kerry Shawcross from Rooster Teeth,”

“Lindsay Jones from Rooster Teeth,”

“AI Ryan from Rooster Teeth,”

“Gus Sorola from Rooster Teeth,”

“Monty Oum from Rooster Teeth,”

“And Ray Narvaez Jr. from Rooster Teeth, signing off. See you next time.” And with that, AI Ryan cut the stream.

“Care to do the honors?” Monty asked, picking up the exit button and handing it to Ray.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He replied. Ray pushed the button and suddenly the doors began to open. Light poured into the room as the group exited the building into the outside world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_So yeah. That’s basically everything that happened._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was the worst sleep of my life.


	28. Epilogue Part 2: The Future is Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it ya'll.

“You can’t just end it like that!” Tina said.

Ray was sitting at a table across from Tina.

“What do you mean I can’t end it like that? That’s what happened. You asked me what happened during my time trapped in the office and I told you. And I just spent all that time doing it. ”

“I still have so many questions.”

“I can probably answer them”

“Ok, well what happened in the year you spent after that? What was with the weird way you started the story? How the hell did you end up in the Future Foundation? How did you guys find us here anyway?”

“Ok, yeah I can answer those. Ok so, the seven of us parted ways. Lindsay and Kerry wanted to go home and Jack went off to find Caiti. Gus, AI Ryan, Monty, and I all got picked up and recruited by the Future Foundation. Monty got a job higher up due to his ability to run shit supper efficiently. We still keep in touch. And you already know what happened to Lindsay, Kerry and Jack. To answer the question about my intro, which I don’t know what that matters, but I’ve had to tell this story a lot to people. And your hidden resistance base is the remains of the fucking Alamo. It’s not that inconspicuous.”

“Yeah you’ve got a point.”

“Also we’ve totally been in contact with Griffon.”

“What seriously?!”

“Yeah, she’s helping us out with something.”

“She’s working with the future foundation?”

“No, it’s just something for us.”

“Oh. Well… You look nice in that suit.”

“Thanks. I’m absolutely wearing my space hippo shirt underneath.”

“Goddammit Ray.”

“Yolo.”

“Whatever. Come on let’s got join the others” Tina said as she got up and left the room. Ray followed close behind her. The two of them entered the main hall of the Alamo. They joined, Gus, AI Ryan, and the members of the resistance group.

“So Tina, you done interrogating Ray?” Griffon asked.

“Yeah. She’s done with my shit.” Ray said.

“I can’t believe you guys went through all that. That’s so horrible.” Tina said sadly.

“Yeah it sucked. But it’s over now, so we’re trying to fix the world.” Gus said calmly.

“I only watched it. I can’t imagine what it was life living it.” Caiti said.

“We’ll we ok now.” Jack said as he scooted closer to Caiti.

“Yeah, so we can now help the world recover in our own way.” Lindsay said.

“By being fucking morons?” Kerry asked.

“No, by being beacons of hope.” Ray said.

“Jeez ever since Monty said called you ‘Ultimate Hope’, this shit’s gone to your head.” AI Ryan said.

“It’s part of the job.”

“Sure Ray.” Dan said with a smirk.

“Absolutely.” Then Ray suddenly ran at Dan. “Surprise hug!” Dan quick caught Ray in his arms.

“Damn Ray. I didn’t realize you still had your man crush on Dan.” Tina said.

“I’ll never be over Dan the Man.” Ray said as Dan released him from their tender bro embrace.

“So is that all then? Are you guys heading back out?” Griffon asked.

“Well yeah. We have a mission to do. Do you think you’ll have you the thing we commissioned you to do by the time we’re done?” Gus asked.

“It depends on how long you take. I still got a bunch of wiring and building to do.”

“Wait. You guys just got here. You can’t leave yet. You just got here!” Tina said.

“I’m sorry Tina, we still gotta find the rest of RT who’s still missing. We think we’ve located them but it’s going to be a lot of work to get there.” Ray said sadly.

“I don’t want you to go yet.”

“I’ll come back. I promise.”

“Ok fine. But if you don’t I’m going to kick your ass.”

“You’re going to kick my ass anyway.”

“I know.”

“Anyway I think we’re off. Kerry come on.” Ray said as he and Gus started to walk towards the door.

“Wait, me? What, why?” Kerry said.

“Yeah. It’s a four person mission and we need a fourth person. You’re useful sometimes. Come on.” Gus said.

“But there’s only two of you.” Kerry replied, confused.

“Excuse me?” AI Ryan said.

“Oh shit. Yeah Hi AI Ryan.”

“Just hurry the fuck up.”

“I guess I’ll see you around.” Tina said as she waved.

“See you next time.” Ray said as he, Gus, AI Ryan, and Kerry, exited the building and began their next mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guy, now that Dangan Roosters is finish, you may be thinking, “What the fuck was up with that ending?” Well, it’s foreshadowing, kinda. What I’m trying to say is: Yes there is going to be a sequel. We are currently in the brainstorming process for this. And I’m going to warn you now, If you haven’t played Super Dangan Ronpa 2, you’re probably going to think we ate a brick of cocaine when writing it. Also with the announcement of Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode getting a US release, I’m going to spoil that we are going to do that as well, (Though it probably will not be like DR: AE pretty much at all). That’s the state of where we are heading with the Dangan Roosters AU. We hope to start putting thoughts to Microsoft Word for DR2 by May. Sooner depending on when I finish Minequest (my solo baby that was conceived even before our DR shit baby), But May at the latest. Get ready to see what some of the other employees have been dealing with soon. But for now, thanks for reading.
> 
> -Reject
> 
> Man, you stayed with it through this whole fic. Like Reject said, we will be doing a Dangan Roosters 2: Goodbye Space Ass. Unlike her, I waited for the American release of the sequel so I call it Dangan Ronpa 2: Goodbye Despair LIKE AN AMERICAN! It was so much fun writing this insane fic, and I promise the second will be even more insane. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with us throughout this, I love hearing all of your feedback and hope to hear more in the future. For anyone to nervous to comment I promise we won't bite, I enjoy all predictions and critiques on the work. You guys are all amazing, and I appreciate every single one of you who has read this. I can't wait to hear what you guys hear about the sequel and I'll see you then.
> 
> <3 Cicco

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back. I'm reposting this because I feel better. Last week was kind of a rough we for me. Hell it was for everyone. But I personally am ready to move forward. This story was completed and I will be reposting the chapters every other day until everything is up. Some of the chapters were edited slightly for sensitivity reasons, but the plot is exactly the same as it was originally. Everything will also be available to read on my tumblr as well if anyone is interested. Thank you once again.
> 
> http://rejectedusername-trashfics.tumblr.com/
> 
>  **EDIT** : My co-author finally got an account here so I can give them proper credit.
> 
> Co-Author here. I promise I will abuse this privilege. When rejectedusername is unaware I will go through the fic and change the word hope to mashed potatoes. We can't lose mashed potatoes.
> 
>  
> 
> **I'm going to punch the co-author**


End file.
